


Wait for Me to Come Home

by ViscountMelbourne



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 68,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25731337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViscountMelbourne/pseuds/ViscountMelbourne
Summary: Sjofn, maid to Queen Frigga, has been in love with Loki since coming to work at the palace. But can a servant win a prince's heart?
Relationships: Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Odin & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Title suggested by my daughter based on Ed Sheeran's "Photograph"  
> *Quotes from MCU movies are intellectual property of Marvel  
> * Who is Sjofn? http://www.northernpaganism.org/shrines/handmaidens/sjofn/who-is.html  
> *https://mythopedia.com/norse-mythology/gods/njord/#:~:text=The%20patriarch%20of%20the%20Vanir,god%20of%20wind%20and%20waters.&text=The%20Norse%20god%20of%20wind%20and%20waters%2C%20Njord%20was%20the,during%20the%20Aesir%2DVanir%20War.

Chaos reigned all around. Heimdall battled the charging Fenris Wolf, Hela’s pet. Then Skurge stormed forth with the Berserker army from the dead. We were stuck. Hela had already murdered so many of our people in her short stint as Queen of Asgard. Queen, ha! That evil demon- I couldn’t think of her as a goddess, even of death, as that put her above my Queen, Frigga. Yes, Queen Frigga was gone from my world, but not my heart. I had served her from the time of my adolescence, but she’d never treated me as a lowly menial. She’d always been kind, even nurturing, to all of her maids. My own parents had passed, leading to my employment. The Queen, and Inga, the royal housekeeper, had been like mothers to me. Inga had retired from service after her marriage, but she and her husband were two more casualties to lay at Hela’s feet. I’d been lucky to escape from Valaskjalf and go into hiding. Heimdall had done much to keep as many Asgardians safe as he could, but there were only so many he could help. The malevolent fiend was even now attempting to assassinate Thor. He couldn’t fight her, as well as save us. Suddenly a hulking green creature fell from the sky to take on Fenris. Nearly simultaneously, a humanoid composed of rocks wearing armor appeared with an animal-like figure. He casually introduced himself and his friend, inviting us to his spaceship to “get out of here.” I was unsurprised to see Loki, announcing with his customary dramatic flair, that our savior, referring to himself, was here. Even in the midst of panic and dread, my heart gave small leap. I’d been in love with Loki from the moment I’d laid eyes upon him as a girl.  
Queen Frigga had allowed me to attend her during Loki’s magic lessons, because I was so efficient at having whatever she required, or at least knowing where to access objects around the palace. Though normally chatty, I learned as a well-trained servant to hold my tongue and keep my activities quiet, so as not to distract. The son of the queen was already quite advanced in his magic, but always eager to learn more. Youthful Loki, with his boyish good looks and studious manner, was the prince of my dreams, while the other young maids pined for Thor. I rarely saw Loki’s mischief, but I heard the tales from the gossipy girls with whom I worked. Once Loki’s education ceased, I only came across him occasionally, almost always with a book in hand. He never acknowledged me, hardly even glancing up when absorbed in reading. In those early years, I found it difficult to reconcile the bookish boy I saw with the brazen rebel I often heard described.  
As I grew, so did my responsibilities. In addition to efficiency, I developed a reputation for trustworthiness, loyalty, and discretion. I was allowed in all areas of the palace, as needed for my mistress, and given sensitive and delicate tasks. I encountered Loki more often and witnessed the behavior that had once seemed, to me, impossible. Yet, I still sometimes found him peacefully reading in the library, as well. He was an enigma. Queen Frigga believed the flamboyant disobedience and arrogance were an act, a façade that Loki used when he felt vulnerable. She often spoke of his softer qualities- his keen intelligence, his devotion to her. And he was devoted to his mother, if to no one else.  
Then came the debacle of Thor’s coronation. Frost Giants appeared in Valaskjalf and Thor swore revenge. He convinced Lady Sif, the Warriors Three, and Loki to go with him to Jotunheim. He broke a truce King Odin had brokered years before his birth, reigniting hostilities. Thor was banished. With all the worry the Queen had experienced over Loki’s uncertain temperament, she was anguished over this blatant insubordination from Thor. She’d thought Thor a copy of her husband, who would soon gain mastery over his zealous ambition. My Lady loved her sons, but they were her one blind spot. Actually, that blind spot included King Odin, too. As the Allfather, Odin had a reason for everything he did, and one should not question his decisions, and that was that. As a domestic, I certainly couldn’t pass judgement on anyone or anything related to the royal family. But in my head and my heart, I privately disagreed, though I admired the loyalty my queen bestowed on her family. We could not know that bad was to become much worse. My duties were mainly focused on the Queen, but I had palace chores, too. A small team of us went into the vaults once a month to clean. Since the incursion of the Jotuns and their demise by the Destroyer, we’d had much more to do than just dust and polish. We made our way down toward the Treasure Room, hearing voices. We weren’t forbidden in the vaults when King Odin was there, as long as we were noiseless, so we continued down.  
“The Casket wasn’t the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”  
“No. In the aftermath of battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a Giant’s offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey’s son.”  
“Laufey’s son?”  
“Yes.”  
“Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?”  
“You were an innocent child.”  
“No. You took me for a purpose. What was it?” Then Loki’s voice echoed throughout the cavernous storage area, “TELL ME!”  
We froze on the steps. The leader of our crew motioned for us to turn around to exit. We still overheard King Odin’s response. “I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace…through you.”  
“What?”  
“But those plans no longer matter.”  
“So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?”  
“Why do you twist my words?”  
“You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn’t you?”  
“You’re my son…I only wanted to protect you from the truth…”  
“What, because I…I…I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?”  
“No! No!”  
“You know, it all makes sense now, why you favored Thor all these years….”  
None of us spoke until we reached the supply closet. Our superior tersely ground out, “We will never speak of this. If I hear a single rumor, I will turn you all in for treason.” With that, he stalked off. Not even an hour later, we were informed that the Allfather had fallen into Odinsleep and Loki had been made temporary ruler by Queen Frigga. Within a week, King Laufey of the Jotuns had invaded Odin’s chambers, and been killed by Loki. Thor returned soon after, with news of some horrible misdeeds Loki had perpetrated. Loki topped it all off by trying to exterminate the Jotuns. He and Thor fought, leading Thor to break the Bifrost. Thor and Loki almost fell, but The Allfather had awakened and was pulling them in via his staff. But Loki chose to let go. The scales were lifted from My lady’s eyes. She finally accepted that Odin’s choices were not always wise, that Loki had chosen his own destructive path, and that her adopted son was gone.  
I knew there was no one with whom I could share my own grief. I didn’t have a relationship with Loki, just an unrequited, unknown love. He’d betrayed me no more or less than every other citizen of Asgard. But my queen knew. I don’t understand how. It was quite some time later that she mentioned that she missed my cheery nature. I assured her that I wasn’t ill and thanked her for her concern. “It’s Loki, isn’t it?” she asked. I stood dumbfounded. I couldn’t even hide my reaction, as I should have. “Come here, my dear,” Queen Frigga beckoned. “Loki always knew he was different, Sjofn. He tried being what he was not, yet he was never comfortable with who he was. Odin and I did what we thought was best, but we aren’t perfect. Neither was Loki. I am aware that you have knowledge of Loki’s heritage, as well as the tendre you nursed for him. No, don’t pull away. I am not angry with you. I don’t fault you for the circumstances that led to these. I remember in his trainings you quietly shared his joy at the mastery of a new skill. You used to stare after him when he was out with Thor and their companions, laughing along when he pulled a prank or when you thought no one was watching. I even sensed that you could relate to the sense of powerlessness over his circumstances when he found out he was a Jotun. You knew how lost and disconnected he felt from all he’d ever believed to be true, because you felt the same when you parents died. I don’t want you to forget, though, that those who need love the most will seek it in the most unlovely of ways. Further, sometimes the love we feel just doesn’t get through the barriers to vulnerability that others have constructed. Please hold on to your good memories of Loki. But don’t let his memory keep you from loving someone else. You have many years ahead of you to find a man who will want your love, be able to return your love, and be in a position to make a family with you.” Queen Frigga and I were both crying by the end of the speech, but we found solace in one another.  
If only the heartache had ended there. For around a year, Loki was presumed dead. Then he appeared in Midgard, wielding a magical staff, aiming for domination. Thor was sent to bring him back, but that didn’t happen quickly enough to avert several disasters, including an invasion of a major city by Loki, backed by an alien army. He was defeated and returned to Asgard, unrepentant, conceited, defiant, and clearly viewing himself as superior to all- including his adoptive father. Obviously, this didn’t work in his favor at trial. My Queen attempted to intervene on his behalf, begged him not to exacerbate the situation, but he scoffed at her. Her intervention was a hollow victory. Loki was sentenced to prison for life. For someone so young, it was almost worse than death. Queen Frigga was distraught. She’d begun to feel the wight of responsibility that she hadn’t curbed his selfish tendencies, instead of dismissing them. Odin and her closest confidants tried to dissuade her, pointing out that he’d shown signs of instability of character from his childhood. They attributed this deficiency to his true lineage. After all, Thor was maturing and embodied the attributes of a benevolent prince. Still, the queen decided that if Loki could develop some humility and show some remorse, she could persuade her husband to reduce or commute his sentence- King Odin agreed. I was dispatched to the library to fetch as many books as I could find on a variety of topics of interest to her imprisoned son, along with a handful of the queen’s choosing on diplomacy. I was torn. I desperately hoped that Loki would respond to his beloved mother, but he seemed to have turned, assigning her as much blame as his father for what he perceived as betrayal. I judged that his egocentric single-mindedness in life had become as much a facet of his personality as his cleverness. I delivered the books to Loki’s cell with the aid of an Einherjar fiercely loyal to Asgard’s queen. I was able to go directly to the cell, while the guard put the tomes through the force field. Loki observed, but it was clear he didn’t recognize me. Why should he? I was a menial, a subject. Queen Frigga, unbeknownst to her king, who’d forbidden contact until and unless the wayward prince relented, used her magic to visit her son. He gave her no quarter, displayed little emotion, and denied their familial connection. After dinner that evening, I held my queen as she bawled. All she could manage to choke out was, “He’s in so much pain.” I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried for Loki, for My Lady, even for Thor and King Odin, who couldn’t be bothered with the errant prince.  
There was trouble in Asgard that would bring a fresh wave of heartbreak to us all. Thor’s Midgardian infatuation, Jane Foster, was possessed by the Aether. Thor had her brought to Asgard for help. King Odin had attempted to send her away, to no avail. Once he’d realized the possession, he knew she had to be protected. I admit I wondered if it had been my dark prince who’d brought the foreign woman for assistance instead of the golden boy, if the Allfather would’ve given in. This was petty of me, but I couldn’t help but feel that King Odin had often set his adopted son up for failure, while giving his biological child a leg up. Besides, Loki despised Midgardians.  
Dark Elves, pursuing the Aether, raided Asgard. My queen, eager to protect Thor’s lady friend, and most importantly, keep the magical substance from the dark elves, brought both her magic and her defensive skills to the fray. She battled Malekith, the Dark Elf King, directly, but it wasn’t enough. She was slain. The entirety of Asgard was plunged into mourning. I felt as orphaned as I had when my parents died. Queen Frigga had been a constant in my life for so many years now, I couldn’t imagine going on without her wisdom and guidance. I was assured by the royal housekeeper that I was a valuable asset to the palace, and that I’d be reassigned. I spent many a night at Inga’s home after work during that tortuous period. King Odin didn’t allow Loki to attend his mother’s funeral- not even in chains with guards. Neither he, nor Thor, broke the news themselves, instead sending an Einherjar to do so. My heart seethed with rage and resentment toward the Allfather. Given his recent repudiation, I imagined that the poor prince was even more grief-stricken than his father, not having had the opportunity to apologize or reconcile with his mother. The queen would have counseled me to cultivate empathy for all, including Odin, and I wasn’t insensible of his suffering. The King loved and respected his Queen. But I still believed leaving Loki in the dungeon during the funeral was especially harsh and overly punitive. Thor still needed to get the Aether out of Miss Foster before it consumed her. Whatever plan he’d hatched, he was going to avenge his mother’s death in the process and took his brother along. Apparently, the promise of revenge was to buy Loki’s compliance and good behavior, while his magic and trickery could be used against the Dark Elves. I was relieved that at least the Crown Prince saw the sense in allowing his brother to work out his emotions in some way other than just thinking about them all the time. Once again, though, bleakness fell over the land. Thor’s plan mostly worked, except for one small glitch- Loki had been killed.  
The news so soon after the fresh sorrow for my mistress proved too much. I fell ill, both physically and spiritually. Eir’s expert skills healed my body quickly. I spent several weeks with Inga to revive from intense misery. I finally returned to Valaskjalf, where I was assigned to court duties. Along with cleaning duties of the Throne Room and government meeting rooms, I was also responsible for keeping these rooms in states of readiness. Further, I was to attend all formal court functions as an intermediary carrying instructions to the lower maids for anything needed. I was briefed on what to expect from the Allfather, though there was some confusion over what the current expectations might be. Odin, too, seemed to be experiencing some sort of breakdown. While his mind was still sharp enough to grasp the complexities of his duties, he focused more on the rituals and ceremonies, basking in the attention. He'd granted Thor leave to relocate to Midgard to be with his love, although he’d fight to protect the Nine Realms, in lieu of kingship. All the formalities of court were still in place, but Odin himself was relaxed when he used to be alert, and given to caprice. Fortunately for Asgard, Odin’s advisors were the wisest minds of the realm, and kept government moving along like a well-oiled machine. We all got used to Odin’s changed personality after some adjustment. For the most part, he was happy to be revered, made astute decisions when pressed to participate in the actual management of Asgard, and enjoyed reading in his spare time. He had occasional outbursts, though, that made no sense to anyone. Lady Sif had been sent to Midgard to capture Lorelei, who’d escaped the dungeons. She did so, returning Lorelei to her cell. Heimdall saw a Kree land on Earth, so Lady Sif was again dispatched to intercept him. She assisted an organization that captured him. However, she discovered the Kree nation had engineered living weapons, known as Inhumans, and that there was one in the division with whom she’d been working. She made an attempt to bring the Inhuman back to the kingdom, but was persuaded by the leaders of SHIELD to allow the weapon to stay with them. She brought back the Kree. The Allfather concluded that Sif must be exiled for her failure to deliver the Inhuman. He also decided that Heimdall had neglected his duties, so he banished the Gatekeeper, too, replacing him with Skurge. Skurge had been an Einherjar, but not the most reliable. We were mystified. I was reprimanded and threatened with dismissal for disrespecting the Allfather. In my case, I was guilty. I’d been caught staring open-mouthed. Ever since Queen Frigga had guessed my affection for Loki, I’d carefully honed my impassive expressions and been more circumspect in my conduct. I was aware that Odin was much less lenient toward these lapses. I can only say that I was beyond shocked; I was flabbergasted. I don’t recall now what words the Ruler used, or what was being discussed, I only remember the thought that popped into my head, “He sounds like Loki.” Perhaps I jumped to that conclusion because Odin was busying himself with authoring a play about Loki’s death. He droned on regarding the scripting endlessly to every visitor, regardless of the poor citizen’s purpose for appearing at court. Two years of such altered behavior had inured most everyone to our king’s fits and starts, though, so we mostly just carried on as usual. Even gossip behind closed doors was mainly habitual. He finished writing the play, moved on to planning its production, and commissioned a gold statue to commemorate his second son’s death. We missed Thor, but he’d found plenty to occupy him the other realms, so he didn’t return.  
It was during these years that I wrote a journal that recorded all I’d learned from Queen Frigga. This ranged from quotes, to stories, to recollections of her actions. It contained not only the teachings she’d imparted to me directly, but those I’d picked up as she taught others, too, all the way back to Loki’s magic instructions. Along with the magic, there’d been many life lessons along the way. Such a shame my prince hadn’t put most of those into practice. Finally, King Odin announced a Memorial Day celebration for Loki, when his play would debut. It was all hands on deck for the retainers, as we were run off our legs supplying the nobility with food, drink, and anything else they might require. Loki’s statue was dedicated, followed by the performance of “The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard.” The Allfather reclined upon a chaise, while noblewomen supplied him with fruit. I suppose the old man was still attractive enough, and his queen had been deceased for several years, but his comportment was disgraceful. Thor arrived just as the play was concluding. He confronted his father about the dereliction of duty to the Nine Realms, as well as his current behavior. The Crown Prince threatened the elderly king, while the Einherjar looked on, unsure of what to do. Thor threw Mjolnir once, letting it return a whisper from hitting his father. Then he threw the hammer again, stepping behind Odin to hold him in place, saying, “You know that nothing will stop Mjolnir as it returns to my hand. Not even your face!”  
“You’ve gone quite mad, you…You’ll be executed for this!” stammered Odin.  
“Then I’ll see you on the other side, brother!” shouted Thor.  
“Alright, I yield,” Odin bellowed.  
In a shimmer of green light, Odin was revealed as Loki, to whom Thor gave a shove before he was smashed by Mjolnir. Thor demanded to know Odin’s true location, to which Loki, with more persuasion from the hammer, admitted knowledge, and off they went.  
That night, after all the cleaning had been accomplished, I lay contemplating my prince. Nothing was ever simple with him. He’d finally gotten what he’d desired. He’d been King of Asgard without question for four years. The realm was fortunate there’d been no wars during that time. Although Loki was a warrior, his strategies were too short term, then his impulsive, chaotic nature took over. Without the team of advisors the real Odin had appointed, Asgard could have been in desperate straits. There were many citizens, from the nobles, to the artisans, down to the farmers, who were angry and calling for the prince’s execution or re-imprisonment when he returned. I understood why, really, I did. In fact, I didn’t wholly disagree. But I finally realized what Queen Frigga saw in her rebellious son. Loki was trapped in his own emotions. I recalled her agonized words, “He’s in so much pain.” There was hurt that looped over and over, never letting him move on. Pain with a voice that repeated his own words:  
“…another stolen relic, locked up here…”  
“I am the monster parents tell their children about at night.”  
” …why you favored Thor all these years…”  
Pain that repeated Odin’s words:  
” Your birthright was to die as a child!”  
” Thor has to undo the damage you have done.”  
”…yes…he will be king.”  
Wounds that were only assuaged when he received the attention, the adulation, that was always heaped upon Thor. Brokenness that was drowned out by other voices that said something, anything different than what he heard in his head. Injury that was veiled behind a gold statue. Damage that seared his soul. Distress that the queen had tried, vainly, from which to save him. The weight of it pressed on my chest, just as Thor had pressed Mjolnir to Loki’s chest earlier that day. No number of tears provided relief. I knew that one day someone could write another play entitled “The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard,” but it would proceed differently, and the ending would be heartrending, indeed. For the real tragedy was that the poor man did not know how to give or receive love.  
The following day began the most harrowing time of trial Asgardians had individually or collectively ever faced, worse than any personal tragedy or war that had involved our people in living memory. Hela came with the force of a supernova explosion. Most of us didn’t even know who she was, just some of the older members of the society. She wiped out the Einherjar immediately, resurrected her Berserker army, and took control of everything. We suffered months of her sadistic rule. Loki had been positively benign ruling as Odin, in comparison. But now help had arrived. I was swept along as the populace who weren’t fighting the Berserkers headed for the spaceship that awaited, following Korg, the rock-man. Loki, horned helmet atop his head, cape flowing, made his way toward the battle. We were finally all boarded as the combat continued, unabated, below. We began to take off, but were impeded by Hela’s necroswords that created a spike to anchor us to the Rainbow Bridge, which the Berserkers were climbing. Skurge, who’d snuck aboard, found his former Einherjar courage, pulled out his strange Midgardian guns, Des, and Troy, and commenced firing as he jumped from the open passage, even as we achieved lift off. The green brute, Thor, and Valkyrie leapt into the ship just as Heimdall closed the door. We could see Surtur risen over the land, spewing flame with his Twilight sword, setting Asgard alight. Then, after an explosion, the kingdom was vaporized. The land of Asgard was no more. I hadn’t seen Loki since I passed him engaging the fight. I assumed he’d been killed. I’d lost everyone I’d ever cared about. I still had a few casual friends aboard the ship, but all of those with whom I’d formed close bonds (or, in Loki’s case, desired to form a close bond) were gone. I noticed a door nearby. I slipped through to find myself in a corridor with more doors down one side. The hallway was blessedly clear. The same suffocating sorrow I’d experienced after Queen Frigga’s death engulfed me. I leaned against the wall, eyes squeezed shut, as the tears cascaded down my face. I heard the door directly across from me swing open. My eyes flew open and alit on my prince, not a scratch on him. Of course, he’d prevailed in battle. He was nothing, if not a survivor. I smiled.  
He appeared perplexed and concerned. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? Do you need someone?” he asked.  
“No, I’m not hurt. Just overwhelmed. There’s no one here to whom I am close,” I stammered, lowering my eyes deferentially, according to my training.  
Loki stepped over to me. “I know you. You were my mother’s servant and attended the court when…” he broke off awkwardly. “Your name is Sjofn, is it not?”  
“Yes, Prince Loki,” I answered. My mind swam. Not only did he recognize me, he KNEW MY NAME. I was speechless.  
“Look at me. You’ll be fine, Sjofn. We’ll get you to safety where you can rebuild with all our people. I promise,” he told me kindly.  
I nodded. He was heading down the hall when I came to an audacious decision. “Prince Loki!” I called.  
He halted, pivoting around, surprise writ across his features.  
“Thank you for fighting for Asgard. Please know that all you did today was appreciated. You’ve never received credit for the good things you’ve accomplished from anyone, other than your mother. I’m sorry to speak out of turn, but I may not get another chance- right now you can’t have me terminated or removed,” at this, my lips turned up wryly. “Not only did you aid in our salvation from Hela, but throughout the years you fought valiantly in other skirmishes and wars. You’ve defended us and shaped who we are. You deserve to be acknowledged. Neither Odin nor Thor ever seemed to see you past their own noses at times,” my words tumbled out, as if a dam had been loosed. “But, as Queen Frigga’s servant, I witnessed private conversations, even some of yours, you may recall. Odin and Thor loved you. Thor loves you still.” I grew breathless from speaking so quickly. I was afraid he’d stop me. “Please, please reconcile with him. He wants to truly be your brother. I know about your true parentage. Privilege allowed me where others couldn’t go. I was on the stairs of the vault that day, coming down to clean. I left quickly but heard enough. You are no monster, Prince Loki. You may have been born a Jotun, but at heart, you are Asgardian. And you are loved. Even the folks out there on the other side of this wall feel generously disposed toward you at the moment. I beg you, please, PLEASE, take this opportunity to reinvent yourself, to move forward, to find the approval and love you’ve longed for.”  
During this speech, Loki had stiffened, his face a mask of calm. I imagined he wished to silence me as quickly as possible, but stood, rooted in place, seemingly listening.  
I’d been gesticulating wildly, but my arms dropped to my sides. My had touched the one bag I had managed to sling across my body, containing only a few personal items, among them, my journal. I took a few timorous steps toward the prince. “There is something I want you to have.” His expression turned wary. “This is a chronicle of life advice of Queen Frigga that I notated in my spare time over the last few years. I can rewrite them for me. Please take this as a memorial to her.” I held the small book out, resting in my open palms. Loki strode over to retrieve the memoir. He perused the first page, turned to the middle, skimmed some more, then to the back pages. He met my eyes. “This is amazing. But I can’t take it.”  
“I can rewrite it. I want you to have it.,” I reiterated. I abruptly swiveled to make a hasty exit.  
“Don’t go,” Loki called.  
I turned around but didn’t otherwise move.  
“Will you come talk with me?” he asked.  
I nodded. He came back to the entry he’d used into the corridor. He led me into a bedroom. “I’m sorry, you’ll have to sit on the bed. I’ll stand,” he apologized.  
“No, no, I’ll stand. I am the domestic, you are the prince,” I demurred.  
“NO. Under the circumstances, you are no longer a servant. I insist that you sit. I just want to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind.”  
“I don’t mind that, but I do mind looking up at you. You are so tall. You can sit here as well. I’m not afraid of you and I don’t believe you’ll do anything untoward,” I asserted.  
Loki propped and fluffed the pillows at the head of the bed so that we could sit back against them, our legs stretched out before us.  
He stared across the room for several beats before querying, “Did Odin actually say he loved me in your hearing?”  
“Yes,” I affirmed. “Many times, but most importantly, he did so while dealing with the news of your invasion of Midgard. He and the queen were understandably upset, discussing what should be done. Queen Frigga was doing all she could to calm him, but he was as angry as I’d ever seen him. Maybe you reminded him of Hela, though we couldn’t have known that at the time. She asked him- point blank- if he loved you. He said that he did, and always had, that his love would remain unchanged. But that you needed to take responsibility for what you’d done, with no mollycoddling. He never actually intended that you’d never see your mother again. He and she both reasoned that once you’d shown some remorse, you’d have your sentence commuted in some way. I don’t know why he didn’t allow you at the funeral. I found that cruel, but kings don’t ask servants’ opinions.”  
For a while, Loki didn’t respond. Then he said, “When we found him in Norway, just before he passed, he said to Thor and me, ‘I love you, my sons.’ Plural. I hadn’t heard it in so long from him. I thought he only loved the son who was so like him, who was his own.” His voice was soft, barely audible.  
There was nothing I could say to dispute his assessment, so I just sat quietly. He opened the journal anew, riffling through the first several pages. “These stories come from my magic lessons. Were you there?”  
“I was. I stayed in the shadows, mostly, listening. I was rarely needed during the teaching periods because I made sure all that your mother considered essential was in readiness. I wanted to impress the queen- not for the sake of ambition or advancement, though that came, but because I never wanted to disappoint her. Also, a good domestic should neither be seen or heard. That suited my inclination. I never wanted you to see me.”  
“Why not?”  
“I was still new to my employment and I was embarrassed. I had a crush on you. I was also afraid I’d be reprimanded if anyone knew,” I admitted softly. I conveniently left out that the crush had never resolved. There was no point in that particular revelation.  
“This is a treasure,” he stated. “It ought to be transcribed and placed in the library wherever we rebuild. Mother deserves to be honored and memorialized, like I never did.” He continued to leaf through the pages. “Why did you give this to me?”  
“You didn’t get to say goodbye, as we did. She loved you, so much, Prince Loki.”  
“Just Loki. As I mentioned, you are no longer in service.”  
“She was aware that you were very different from your brother in temperament, and that you would need ways to express yourself and hold you own- with the Allfather, with Thor, with your peers. She loved Thor, too, of course, but he’s always been confident of his place in the world, and the welcome he’d receive from most he met. She wanted to give that to you, too. I just thought that, as you go on, having her words could be an inspiration to you, as they’ve been to me.”  
The intense aquamarine eyes searched my face, as if endeavoring to see into my soul. “You said in the hallway earlier that you have no one. You were obviously attached to my mother. You are passing what is clearly a highly valued possession to me that connects you to her. I just think there has to be something more. Most Asgardians don’t like me, or are indifferent, at the least. You are showing immense thoughtfulness. This is about more than the funeral.”  
I could feel a flush rising on my cheeks. I did not want to talk about the sentiments I had that were irrelevant to him, anyway. I settled for a Frigga-centric version of the truth. “I learned to see you through your mother’s eyes. She wished to go deeper than your behavior to figure out what drove it. This will be difficult to hear. Just before her death, when you sent her away from your cell, she held her emotions in until after dinner, when she thought she was alone. I happened to be in her rooms, putting clothing away. There was no way I could exit unseen. When I came upon her, sobs wracking her body, I broke all protocol to hold her. Her only intelligible words were, ‘He’s in so much pain.’ I believed her. She was the only person you ever let into your heart. She saw you. She heard you. She knew you. If you were hurt then, how much more so after her death? When you were revealed impersonating King Odin, I wondered if your wish for the grandiose memorials to yourself and your ‘death’ were a way to seek the love she gave you. You don’t need the adulation of the people. Like I told you in the corridor, you just need to realize that you are loved. It dawned on me that if you had the book, maybe reading her words would help you remember.” I’d kept my eyes averted, wringing my hands, knowing that Loki wouldn’t likely appreciate what I was telling him. I ventured a glance over. He was staring off again, but tears were sliding down his cheeks. He drew a shaky breath. “I’ve lost everyone, too. Thor told me on Sakaar that after this was over, we should part ways. He is right.”  
“No,” I contradicted. “He has realized you won’t let him into your heart, so he is protecting himself from further pain. If you will open up, even a little, let him know that you want to be his brother, to love him back, he will respond with open arms. Being Thor, perhaps literally. He isn’t exactly like Odin. There is the warmth of Queen Frigga in him.” We both chuckled a bit wetly.  
“What about you?” Loki asked.  
“Me?” I was confused.  
“What would you do if I chose to let you in, even a little?”  
I swallowed hard. “I would be delighted if you would consider me a friend.” I said.  
“Sjofn, right now, you are my only friend in the universe. And I don’t understand how it has happened, but you are just the friend that I need. You learned well from my mother, much more so than I. But I suspect it is your nature to love and encourage others, even when that means holding up a mirror to those who hide from them. Thank you, for the book, as well as the hard truth. May I kiss you?” It seemed harmless, since he was asking permission, so I consented.  
He bussed my cheek and gave me a genuine smile, one of the few I’d seen from the adult Loki. I echoed the gesture. We sat for a moment gazing at one another when his expression became more intense. His thumb and forefinger lifted my chin, as his lips touched to mine. When I pressed back, his hand moved to the back of my head, fingers winding into my hair. I was unaware of holding my breath until I needed to let it out. I was too focused on the feel of the object of my desire kissing me. I drew back, my chest heaving with my heavy breathing. Unconsciously, I leaned back toward him, wanting more. Again, our mouths met, this time moving together. His tongue fleetingly darted in, then out of my mouth. Loki’s other arm reached around my waist, pulling me full up against his body. My free arm slid around his chest to rest my hand back on his shoulder blade. Our tongues now danced together as our bodies molded themselves to one another. It was he that broke the kiss to state, panting, “If this is not what you want to do, you must leave now. I want you, all of you.”  
“I’m yours.” Our clothes were quickly discarded. We explored the curves and planes of one another’s bodies with abandon. All the stress and trauma of the Fall of Asgard, of our individual existences there, were released in hot passion. We found comfort and consolation in each other. Coming down from the climax, we rolled into a warm embrace, while our heartbeats slowed and our breathing steadied. We were content to lie there, not speaking, just clinging together. There was a knock at the door. Loki conjured an illusion of himself, dressed, of course, that opened the door only slightly. We heard Valkyrie’s voice. “Thor is going to go to the people and decide where we’re headed. He wants you to be there.”  
“I’ll be there in just a moment,” the vision told her. When the door shut, it disappeared. “I suppose we must go. When everyone beds down for the night, will you come back and stay with me? We can talk, sleep, or be intimate, but I want to be with you,” my prince invited.  
“Yes,” I whispered. “I want to be with you, too.” We redressed, then I headed to the deck of the ship. Loki wanted to talk to Thor before the announcement. I slipped into the crush of Asgardians. It wasn’t long before King Thor entered through the door I’d exited. We jostled around to make space for him move through, bowing as best we could in such close quarters. He made a slow parade to the front of the ship. Given my short stature, I could not see the leaders up there, but I assumed Loki was with his brother. Nor could I hear the formal announcement, but word filtered through the crowd. We were bound for Midgard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sjofn loses Loki to death yet again. How will this affect her life in New Asgard?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://mythopedia.com/norse-mythology/gods/njord/#:~:text=The%20patriarch%20of%20the%20Vanir,god%20of%20wind%20and%20waters.&text=The%20Norse%20god%20of%20wind%20and%20waters%2C%20Njord%20was%20the,during%20the%20Aesir%2DVanir%20War.

I returned to Loki’s room, as promised, a few hours later. I’d been assisting with passing out food and what materials could be used for bedding. The deck was cramped with people, barely space to stretch out. I felt slightly guilty knowing I’d be in a private room, with a comfortable bed, in the arms of the man I’d adored most of my adult life- even if I’d sometimes been appalled by his actions. His deeds since his return with King Thor had been nothing but heroic. He’d fought for Asgard, and followed his new king, his rivalled brother, as any soldier subject should. King Thor commanded his advisors, both governmental and military, to serve the populace aboard ship. We palace workers had volunteered so the work would go more quickly. Loki and I paired up as a team. It took all my years of training to remain aloof while we operated together. I knew gossipers loved tearing down the prince, and that my association with him would be interpreted as getting ideas above my station, exposing me to malicious slander, too. I drew on my skills for efficiency to complete the tasks set to us quickly, directing Loki, without seeming too pushy, I hoped. He did not complain, showed no signs of annoyance, and betrayed no hint of our association. Finally, as the citizens were busy staking out their sleeping territories, I was able to slip into the hallway and Loki’s room, unnoticed. He was reading my journal when I entered. “Did you enjoy ordering me about?” he asked.  
“Perhaps a little,” I rejoined.  
“You could’ve been a competent general with your organizational abilities and no-nonsense competence. If Thor still intends to have shield maidens for defense of his new colony, I’ll suggest you be trained,” he shot back.  
“Oh no, I want no part of violence. I know it is sometimes needed, and I am capable of defending my person when necessary, as is every woman who works in service, but I leave the fighting to warriors like Lady Sif.”  
His face lit up with mischief. “Oh dear. Sif never came back. I wonder where she might be.”  
“Loki, that’s…” I started to giggle, in spite of myself, “…awful. You must tell King Thor.”  
“Well, maybe I’ll get around to it. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled that at least one of his playmates is alive. And I can take credit for saving her life when I banished her.”  
Shaking my head, I queried, “Wasn’t she one of your playmates?”  
“I liked the Warriors Three well enough when we were kids, but Sif and I never got along. She’s never had a sense of humor, so she was always easy to bait. And she loved to tattle about anything and everything she thought I’d done. The older we got, the less we could stand of each other,”, he justified.  
“Still, you should tell the king she’s out there somewhere,” I insisted.  
“I will,” he assured me. He came over and wrapped his arms about my waist. “Let’s forget about Sif for now.” He bent to kiss me. I did forget about Sif. With everyone preparing for rest, we knew we had many hours ahead of undisturbed time. Loki taught me new ways to please him and he used his expertise to bring me to the edge of sanity and keep me there, gasping for air and whimpering with desire. When our energy was spent, we lay in one another’s arms, talking.  
“Loki?”  
“Hm?” He stroked my arm that was thrown across his chest.  
“Have you ever looked at Midgardian art?”  
“Yes, I’ve seen some. Why do you ask?” Curiosity was evident in his voice.  
“Your mother sometimes allowed me to take books from the Asgardian library to my room at night to read. I got a book on Artists of Midgard once, with beautiful depictions inside, and short biographies of the creators. There was one man who could do everything: draw, paint, sculpt, knowledgeable on art and science. Anyway, there was a magnificent full-page image of a marble sculpture of a man. You, um, you remind me of that sculpture.” I bent my head so that he could not see the furious red stain flooding over my features.  
“Da Vinci. He is one of the few Midgardians for whom I had respect. I’ve seen the statue in person. I’m not sure I quite live up to its perfection, but I am flattered that you think so. Maybe one day I can take you to see it for yourself.”  
I peeped up through my lashes. To my great shock, Loki’s cheeks were also rosy. I changed the subject. “How did you know my name?” This detail had been nagging at me for a while.  
“Mother. When she came to me in my cell after you brought all those books, she mentioned that she’d sent you especially, because you lived up to the meaning of your name. Sjofn was a goddess who used affection to make peace and create bonds between people, according to the same group of Earthers who thought us gods. I’m not certain how she thought you were going to do that behind the force field while carrying books to and fro, but knowing my mother, she’d have figured something out eventually. I suppose she thought you would be a good influence on me. I’ve definitely enjoyed the influence you’ve had on me tonight.” His voice dropped, low and seductive. “But why are you blushing again?”  
I figured I may as well confess. “I thought Queen Frigga sent me because she knew that I worried about you. The infatuation with you I had as a girl had not abated, obviously still hasn’t. I have no idea what her purpose was in telling you about me. She never commented to me on my name or any traits she thought I shared with my namesake. I am honored that she thought I embodied those qualities.” I fell into quiet contemplation of what Loki had shared. Why would the queen have wanted to bring me to his attention? A peer who exemplified good behavior should have been the prince’s role model, not a retainer. The lights dimmed, fading out. I drifted off to sleep cuddled up to my living dream.  
I awoke to Loki, fully dressed, sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. I was a bit disappointed, but hopeful that there would be more mornings to wake up in his hold. He lightly grazed my lips. “I can hear some stirring about, so I believe everyone is waking up. I need to ask Thor about this Midgardian plan of his. I’ll see you later- definitely later tonight!” With a smirk, he sauntered out of the room.  
I went into the small bathroom and got ready for the day. I briefly wondered how long it would be before we reached Midgard. I had just come back into the bedroom, when Loki burst in, panicked. “Grab your bag and meet Valkyrie in the corridor, NOW! Oh, and take this with you. I’ll get it back from you in Midgard. There’s no time for explanations.” He tossed my journal into my bag, then placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled me in for an urgent kiss. “I think I love you, Sjofn. I’ll find you; I promise. Go! Now!”  
I was pushed out of the door as I called back, “I love you, Loki!”  
I hurried to Valkyrie, waiting at the end of the hall. She led me to a different part of the ship where a smaller vessel was docked. We climbed in and she began clearing as much space inside as possible, tossing items to me that I, in turn, tossed out onto The Statesman. We did the same for a few more pods. A clamor began to arise nearby. I saw Asgardians being herded toward us by Korg. Valkyrie stationed herself at the door of the craft, instructing me to move back. The citizens began to crowd in. I still had no idea what was happening. I hadn’t had time to ask Loki, and Valkyrie scared me a little. I still felt like a menial in her presence. With our little ship filled to overflowing, we took off. I was near a window slit and managed to look out. Another massive spaceship floated above The Statesman, which was being boarded. King Thor, Heimdall, and my beloved Loki were still inside, along some more of the Asgardian populace. They swiftly faded from my view.  
Valkyrie found a way to communicate with the other pods. We formed a sort of caravan through space. I’m not sure how long we were out there- long enough that water was becoming a critical necessity. We landed in a deserted field. Thankfully, there was a stream nearby, and game could be heard amongst the trees that bordered the meadow. Valkyrie warned us to stay close to the pods. We would use them as emergency shelter. Sleeping would be done under the skies, fires made only when necessary, and a latrine dug as far from the water as possible. She begged us to be as creative as we could to deal with the lack of clothing, shelter, utensils, etc., and to share anything we could. We camped out for nearly a month when half of our number just…disintegrated. No rhyme or reason, some folks flaked into dust. How much more could we take? We were still dealing with the aftermath of leaving so many to an uncertain fate on The Statesman. We learned their ending shortly. King Thor found us. He told us of Thanos and the Black Order, how they’d murdered Loki and Heimdall. He praised Loki for saving his life; Heimdall gave his sending Hulk for help. Then Thanos ripped apart the ship, casting all bodies into space. The king was the only survivor. He led us to a city called Tonsberg, in a place called Norway. The residents were kind to us, welcoming us into the municipality. King Thor and Valkyrie got information on how we could obtain refugee status so we could find homes, education, and employment. The Tonsbergers, learning who we were, and our connection to their culture’s “mythology”, renamed the place New Asgard. With their help, the Asgardian people began to make lives there.  
Another month passed. I was ill, yet again. Eir, who’d survived, tried to help as best she could. All of her equipment and technology was gone, but her competency remained. She was acquainted with my history of manifesting grief through sickness. She surmised that this was still the case. But when I mentioned that my nausea in the mornings were the worst, she asked one more question that complicated matters more than I’d anticipated. “We’ve all longed for comfort and closeness with so much trauma. Have you found physical comfort with a man?”  
Warning bells clanged around my skull. The intense strain could account for lack of menstrual flow, which I hadn’t even thought of until now, but so could my tryst with Loki. We hadn’t thought about preventing a pregnancy; we hadn’t thought at ll. And Loki was a Jotun. I didn’t know who had access to this information. How could I hide a pregnancy? I knew, at that moment, in my soul, that I was with child. I wasn’t sure I could tell Eir, though. I simply replied, “I am sure I will be fine, thank you, Eir. If I need you again, I will find you.”  
I went directly to Valkyrie’s home. She was the king’s deputy, taking care of most business. We rarely saw the king. He was as tormented as we were. I had to make an appointment. I was back, two days later. Still somewhat frightened of Valkyrie, embarrassed over my serious lapse of judgement, I had to confess my condition. I also had to admit Loki’s involvement, and even explain his parentage. Valkyrie’s dark skin appeared to pale. She sent someone to fetch King Thor immediately. He arrived, rather tipsy, though it was only mid-morning. I was forced to disclose everything once again. He didn’t grasp the gravity of my situation. In fact, he was excited. “A baby! Loki will live on! Thanos may have said, ‘No resurrections this time’ but Loki still outsmarted him. Hey, Valkyrie! I’m going to be an uncle!” The warrior and I locked eyes. We were both stunned.  
“Thor, I don’t think you understand,” began Valkyrie.  
“Yes, I do! Congratulations, Sjofn! I’ll help in any way I can,” Thor exclaimed, gleefully.  
I judged that this was my moment to lay everything out there. “Thank you, my King. As a matter of fact, I do need help. Loki was a Jotun. My child will be half Jotun. I don’t know what the child will look like. Asgardians are horrified by Jotuns and Midgardians believe the Frost Giants are myths. Who will deliverer my baby, and what will the consequences be if he or she has blue skin?”  
The reality hit Thor with the force of Stormbreaker, his new ax. “Oh shit.” He collapsed into a chair, his head falling into his hands. He was mumbling, most words barely audible. “…Brother…Banner…Avengers…” he lifted his head. “I have a plan.”  
A few days later, the king summoned me to his home. There I met Dr. Bruce Banner. He had experience as a Midgardian healer in a country called India, but he termed himself “scientist.”  
“Bruce, this is Sjofn, Loki’s Mama Baby, as you Earthers say.” King Thor filled him in on my dilemma.  
“Thor, it’s Baby Mama,” corrected Dr. Banner. “I delivered babies in India under terrible conditions, I can deliver your child, Sjofn. But you’ll need to stay in New York for prenatal care throughout your pregnancy. Are you willing to that?”  
“I don’t know. I have asylum with Norway.”  
King Thor spoke up, “Perhaps Nat and Tony will allow her to live at the training facility.”  
Bruce mused for a moment. “That would be ideal, but you might not want to mention that Loki is the child’s father, either of you. Thy don’t know the ways he helped Asgard or you, Thor. I’m not sure they’d care. They probably haven’t forgiven him for New York City.”  
The king sighed, “You’re probably right. That will be most difficult for you, Sjofn.”  
“Not really,” I demurred. “I was only ever planning to tell our people that my child’s father died aboard The Statesman.”  
The king was offended. “You weren’t going to let anyone know that Loki has a living child?” he asked, scandalized.  
“My king, I understand your loyalty to your brother, and truly, I loved him, or I would not be in this predicament. But Loki was a troubled man, whose bad decisions will be remembered, whether we like it or not. I’d rather not bring those up, and I certainly don’t want my child judged on the basis of his father’s poor behavior.” I gave a pleading look. “Please understand.”  
Dr. Banner piped up, “That will work. Thor, do you want me to arrange everything since I’m there?”  
The Asgardian king wearily shook his head. “I will. I owe it to my brother to take care of his family.”  
“Dr. Banner, have you ever been to Asgard? You seem so familiar to me.” The question had been puzzling me all during our meeting.  
“I was in Asgard once. I’ll tell you about it some time, but not right now. I do have one more question, for my own curiosity. You are welcome to refuse an answer or even wish me to hell for having the temerity to ask, but why Loki?”  
“Most who met Loki only saw facets of who he was, especially those traits that he emphasized to make himself appear more powerful. As Queen Frigga’s maid, I saw him in situations others weren’t privileged to see, and that at times, he was unaware I’d witnessed. I saw the love he had for the queen, though he pushed her away in his hurt. That, too, exacted an emotional toll on him. I saw the heart of a scholar, who devoured nearly every book he could get his hands on. I saw the magician who wove technique and artistry together in nuance to create beautiful things before he began to use his magic for militaristic pursuits and trickery on a more frequently large and hurtful scale. I am not insensible of the harm and even villainy he pursued, but all those traits I fell in love with still existed in him to the end.”  
Dr. Banner regarded me with a perplexed expression for a few beats before saying, “He was a lucky man to have had your loyalty. I hope he appreciated it.” With that, he stood. “When you have worked out the details, Thor, let me know.” He softly slipped from the room.  
King Thor looked to me. “Sjofn, I hope that you will think of me as your family, not just your child’s. I know that your memories of my family come from a very different point of view and station in life, but you saw us at our most unguarded times. There are few still alive that hold those kinds of memories. I would be grateful if you were willing to share some with me. I can see you are a bit overwhelmed right now, and I still have preparations to make. I will contact you when the rest of the plan comes together. Can I walk you home?”  
“No, thank you. The weather is fair, and I enjoy the exercise. I truly appreciate all you are doing for us,” I assured him, patting my abdomen.  
“At least I can help someone,” he opined sadly.  
One week later I arrived at the Avengers Training Facility. I told my acquaintances in New Asgard that I’d found a school to teach me a trade, but I couldn’t commute so far. They all assumed I’d moved to Oslo, not New York State in the U.S. It wasn’t a complete lie. I would take some classes at a local community college, paid for by Tony Stark, who’d approved the scheme, though he didn’t live in the facility any longer. He did so as a favor to Thor and Banner, who had taken me under his wing, so to speak. I would reside at the facility with Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, and Dr. Banner. I had spacious quarters, nothing like the tiny house I’d been sharing with three other former maids. My bed was the perfect combination of firm and soft. There were plenty of books to read. Dr. Banner even let me come to his lab every once in a while, and graciously explained the Midgardian science that made no sense to me. At the college, I was taking courses to be a medical transcriptionist. There was a physician who worked at the facility as needed, who’d lost his transcriptionist in the Snap. Once I was proficient, he would allow me to be his intern so that I would have experience in the field when I got back to New Asgard. I also took a Norwegian language class online. The first semester was spent learning how to use a computer. Bruce, as he invited me to call him, was an indispensable help there. I would be able to support my child and myself.  
Bruce did occasionally ask our doctor to help with my care. He insisted I should have something he called a sonogram. When he showed me the equipment and how it worked, I realized it was similar to what we Asgardians knew as a Sound Writer. It was a straightforward procedure. I learned I was to have a son, I heard his heartbeat, and I was able to make out his tiny body on the little screen. My heart wished I could have shared this moment with Loki, but my head told me that it was possible he’d have been ambivalent about having children who would be half Jotun. My heart won. After all, he wasn’t there, he wasn’t coming back, and it eased the ache within me to dream that he’d have been happy- with me and our son. I chose the name Njord in recognition of our new life in New Asgard. I was in awe of the butterfly movements of Njord inside me. As my baby grew, I grew. My center of gravity changed, my gait changed, and my moods changed frequently! Nat and Steve, who had become my mates, called me their “little butterball”, whatever that meant. They assured me this was a term of endearment, but Bruce shook his head with chagrin whenever they used it.  
Bruce had become the closest friend I’d ever had. We spent a lot of time together, at first just talking about science, college, or my pregnancy. Then we started opening up a little about ourselves. I’m not sure why he wanted to know anything about me, since my life had been boring as a servant. But once he began to share some things about himself, I realized that he envied my boring life in some ways. I still felt a sense of familiarity about him and would remind him that he’d promised to tell me about when he came to Asgard. He’d find some way to divert my attention, and later, I’d remember that he still hadn’t answered. Finally, one evening, he gave in. He explained that he’d known Thor for six years or so, ever since Nick Fury had brought the Avengers together to fight Loki’s invasion, though Thor wasn’t actually recruited to be in the group. There was no need to dwell on that event since I knew most of the details already. Bruce didn’t mention what part he’d played or what sort of skills he brought to the Avengers. I assumed they were scientific, and I didn’t want to interrupt. Bruce and Thor spent a good bit of time battling threats to the Earth together, then lost touch. They were reunited on Sakaar, the planet Thor and Loki had dropped onto when Hela pushed them out of the Bifrost. Thor helped bring Bruce back to himself after two long years. Then he finally enlightened me. “I am the Hulk. The Big Guy lives inside me. Sometimes I’ve had control over changing, and many times I have not, especially when angry. I almost always feel angry. The Hulk took over on Sakaar when he became the Grandmaster’s Champion. He enjoyed all the attention, fame, and perks. I was buried deep inside. I only got back to my own body when Thor was trying to steal the Quinjet I arrived in that had a recording of Nat on it. He told me what had happened. He introduced me to Valkyrie, who knew Hulk, but not that he was me. She had captured Loki, and Thor formulated a plan to get us all off the planet. Loki said he knew the Grandmaster’s security codes and how we could steal a ship. I didn’t trust him. He did get us to a vessel, then betrayed Thor, ready to turn him in because…”  
“…. He was Loki,” we finished together. Bruce flashed a half smile. “The Grandmaster used disks that attached to the body and could administer an electric charge to control people. Thor had put one on Loki and shocked him so we could get away undetected. We were still found out.” He glanced at me. I had gasped and brought my hands to cover my mouth. “I know that is probably hard to hear.”  
“Yes, a little. But Thor and Loki brawled with one another ruthlessly at times and I know Loki would’ve turned you all in if he could’ve gotten away with it. I just can’t imagine this Grandmaster person controlling everyone with electric shocks!”  
Bruce nodded. “Yeah, I suppose I should be grateful to Hulk for keeping me safe from him. Anyway, when we got to Asgard and I saw all the people on that bridge stuck between the overgrown wolf and the undead army, I couldn’t just stay in the ship, knowing I could possibly save a lot of lives. I suppose you know the rest.” He sighed heavily.  
“I do know the rest. You saved my life. I was in that crowd. I am humbly grateful. Am I correct in thinking that you and Hulk do not like sharing a body? That you don’t respect one another?” I asked quietly.  
“That’s putting it succinctly.”  
“Unfortunately, you sound like Loki when he talks- talked about Jotuns. He hated the Jotuns, as do most Asgardians, having been taught that they are evil. That belief drove him to commit patricide, killing his biological father. To attempt genocide on the very people from whom he was descended. And to try to take his own life. He was tortured by the knowledge that he was a Jotun. You come across as distressed in your relationship with Hulk. You admit, though, that he has saved your life. Perhaps you need to learn about him, find out what motivates him, so you can understand him. Maybe you could amicably share a body instead of fighting one another,” I suggested.  
Bruce stared at me a moment. “That’s a lot to think about,” was all he said, closing the subject. “May I ask how you plan to tell your son that he is half Jotun?”  
“I can only control what my child learns from me, but I will do all in my power to educate him that Jotuns have a different culture and Asgardians haven’t always been perfect. He should also strive to learn from his mistakes. Once he has enough maturity to understand, I will tell him that his father was a Jotun. He can choose what parts of his heritage to celebrate. I know it won’t be easy. At least it’s a plan. A better plan than Odin’s!” I declared angrily.  
“If my opinion is worth anything, I agree. It is a plan that considers both the hostility and prejudices of your people and the capability of your son to comprehend the implications. You have a good head on your shoulders, Sjofn. Now we should probably get some rest,” yawned Bruce. I nodded and went to my room.  
I had come to the Avengers compound in May. The spring was beautiful there, with the flowering trees and bushes showing off their new foliage. Summer moved in with hot days spent on the sand by the water. Autumn was a blaze of brilliant reds, oranges, yellows, and browns. The days turned cooler and the night brisk. Then came winter with its freezing temperatures and snow. My companions plied me with hot cocoa in front of the fireplace most evenings. We had become a cozy little group for the most part. Holidays were the most difficult. Steve and Bruce celebrated mostly the same days, while Nat observed a few Russian special days. Mine were completely different. But we all celebrated and comforted each other when these came up because we were still missing those with whom we’d shared those days in the past. My time for giving birth was nearing, along with a High day for my friends. They put up a few small decorations that were cheery. They took more pleasure in my reactions that their bedecking, though. Bruce and Steve set up nursery furniture for me in my suite. King Thor had sent a bassinet, and I had picked out a dresser and changing table from a nearby store. King Thor insisted on paying for everything for his nephew. I wasn’t quite sure how the plastic card he sent worked, but the store had no problems when I used it to pay.  
I was beginning to feel a bit off. Nothing I could pin down, just more uncomfortable than usual. I had felt some tightening around my middle, but nothing really strong. On the Winter Solstice I was in my room, just before dinner, placing some small gifts into bags for my friends, according to their Christmas custom, when I felt a rush of wetness. I took off the damp leggings, throwing them over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom. I headed to the living area. I placed my bags under the glowing tree and went to the kitchen. Nat was pulling food from the fridge, Steve taking cans from the cabinet, and Bruce gathering bowls and pans. “My water broke,” I blurted. Three pairs of eyes swiveled my way.  
“Are you having contractions?” Bruce queried.  
“Yes, for nearly six hours now.”  
“How far apart?”  
“Not certain. Thirty minutes, maybe?”  
“Aright. We’ll time them next time once comes along. In the meantime, I’ll fix you some broth and applesauce. Steve, are there still graham crackers in the cabinet? Grab those, too.”  
“Let’s just order a pizza, since you guys will be needed later. No need to cook and make a mess I’ll have to clean,” Nat laughed. She took out her cell phone to place the order. I pulled out the cell phone Valkyrie had sent to keep King Thor updated on my pregnancy. I appraised her of the news, and received a text back wishing me quick labor with the least pain. I slipped my phone back into my dress pocket, feeling a contraction. Bruce noted the time on his watch. It wasn’t terrible, very similar to menstrual cramps I sometimes had. I wished later they’d stayed that way. I finished my light supper, then went to find something to watch on the television. The others joined me after consuming their pizzas. Steve could pack away three large pies by himself.  
As evening lengthened into night, my contractions not only lengthened, but strengthened, too. I couldn’t concentrate on a screen any longer, so Steve suggested I walk the track. Bruce came to keep timing, and Steve ran while I walked. Bruce plied me with water to keep me hydrated. I’d sit for a bit, then when I became too uncomfortable, I’d walk again. During one of my breaks, Bruce handed me a package in brightly colored paper. “A little early Christmas gift for your labor,” he smiled. I tore off the paper to find a framed picture of Loki. I knew it must have been from his invasion, but it was a close up of his face, and the building behind him reflected clouds, not chaos. He was wearing his Asgardian armor, sans helmet, and his face was in profile.

“Thank you, Bruce. This means so much to me.” I gave a half smile through my tears.  
At three minutes between contractions, Bruce decided we should head to the med bay. Steve was my breathing coach. The guys let me change from my dress to a hospital gown, as they called it, before entering the room. Steve positioned himself behind me, as Bruce, now in clothes called scrubs, examined me, and checked my dilation. I was at seven centimeters. Steve propped pillows behind my back, went through the breathing exercises with me, and even rubbed my back if I requested. I was surprised at this gentle touch, even asking for more pressure at times. I suppose he thought he might hurt me. He took over monitoring the contractions that were coming quicker. There was only a minute between, and they lasted just as long. My internal temperature seemed out of whack as I experienced hot flashes or chills intermittently. Steve was actively leading me through my breathing now. Steve brought out the picture of Loki for me to concentrate on. The contractions wracked my abdomen. Bruce checked my dilation again- nine centimeters. An eternity, yet just a moment passed before Bruce did another check, announcing I’d reached the requisite ten centimeters. I tried to concentrate on Steve and my breathing, but my life had whittled down to what seemed like never-ending, convulsing pain. “I have to push,” I shouted. Bruce gave me the okay to do so. I knew I was supposed to be breathing, but screams were all that came. Between pushes, I cursed Loki the length and breadth of the realms for leaving me.  
“He’s almost here, Sjofn, I need you to give one more big push,” Bruce instructed. I grabbed Steve’s hand, took a huge breath, and gritted my teeth, pushing as hard as I could.  
“Yes! Njord is here!” exclaimed Bruce, bringing my baby to me.  
Njord was unwashed, cord still attached, and I could see his skin was a pale blue with markings on it. He was beautiful. Steve and Bruce stepped away for a few minutes to give us privacy of sorts. I snuggled my son closely and spoke to him softly. “Oh my precious Njord. We’re going to have such adventures in life together. I’m sorry your father isn’t here to greet you, but his life was cut short. You look like him. He once had skin like yours, but it changed. That little bit of hair on top of your head is dark like his, too. He was a handsome man and you are my handsome little man. No matter what others see, I see nothing but beauty in you. Can you open your eyes, little one?” The tiny lids parted, revealing red irises. “I love you, no matter how you look. You are my delight, my little Njord.” I picked up the framed likeness of Loki that lay on the bed. “See this image? This is your father. His name was Loki Odinson.” Njord seemed to be focusing on the picture. A strange thing began to happen. The markings on his skin began to disappear. The blue faded, to be replaced by an ivory similar to Loki’s Asgardian appearance. The red irises changed to a luminescent light blue-green. I doubted my sanity, until Bruce came to cut the umbilical cord. He looked from Njord to me, and back again.  
“He came out blue”, he said dazedly.  
“Yes, he did,” I confirmed. “He must have his father’s shifting abilities. It matters not. He is the most perfect child I’ve ever seen.”  
Bruce was still flustered but cut the cord and injected me with a medicine to speed the delivery of the placenta. After admiring my son and making sure I didn’t need him, Steve left the room. He, too, appeared disconcerted. I brought Njord to my chest to see if he would feed. Later, Njord was wrapped in a blanket and placed in a bassinet next to my bed. I was to stay in med bay overnight for monitoring. The facility’s AI would track my medical vitals, as well as Njord’s, and cameras would watch for signs of trouble. Bruce slept in a nearby room for the physician. Our night passed uneventfully, and my baby and I moved into my quarters the next night. The AI was still on watch.  
Njord and I celebrated Christmas with our companions. We received a knitted blanket with several warm outfits from Nat. Steve gave us a Captain America pacifier, beanies, socks, and bibs. At least the stroller wasn’t Cap, too. Bruce presented us with two baby carriers. One was for the ride home to New Asgard, the other was made of cloth and designed to be slung around my body to swaddle my son. There were lots of diapers and baby wipes under the tree, too. I was to stay until after my post-partum check -up in early February. Bruce let the facility doctor conduct the exam. He gave me clean bill of health, but recommended I seek out mental health services at home, if any issues cropped up with all the upheaval in my life.  
It was a frigid day, but the weather was clear. My baby furniture, baby gifts, and my belongings were already loaded on the Quinjet. It took all of us to figure out how to strap a baby seat safely in a Quinjet, but finally we were ready. Nat strapped into the pilot’s seat, with Steve next to her. Bruce sat in the back with me. Njord slept most of the trip, only waking for feedings and changings. He was lulled by the motion. I was overstimulated by the motion and my nerves. Valkyrie had texted me that my housing was arranged but wouldn’t give further details. At last, we touched down in the same field that I’d camped in during my first days on Earth. Valkyrie and Thor were there. Thor was quiet, almost sullen. He gave cursory greetings to his Avenger friends, and asked to see Njord, who was covered warmly in his carrier. Bruce advised that he wait until we were inside, where the baby would be warm. Thor gave a curt nod and retreated to the vehicle. I saw the Avengers swap glances, but they made no comments. I bid a fond farewell to Nat and Steve, who promised to stay in touch. I handed the carrier to Valkyrie so I could hug Bruce tightly. “Thank you, thank you, my friend for all you’ve done and meant to me these many months.” I pulled back. I could see the wetness around his eyes.  
“I’m glad to have helped you. You’ve become very dear to me. Please send me lots of pictures!”  
“I will, I promise,” I nodded, taking my son back.  
Valkyrie drove the car to a cottage near her home. Thor ushered us inside with an impatience that was almost comical. “I want to see my nephew!” I pulled the cover from the carrier, and the layers of blankets from Njord’s lap. Thor pulled off the beanie. “He looks like Loki! Same hair, same eyes! I was worried he’d look like a Frost Giant.”  
I raised my eyebrows. “He did.” I told how he’d changed after focusing on the picture of Loki. “But if he’d remained blue with textured skin, he’d still be my perfect son,” I claimed fiercely.  
Thor grunted. “Indeed. You’d have had a difficult time explaining that. Are you still going to deny Loki’s paternity?” he asked pointedly.  
“No. You are right. He deserves to carry his father’s name, and Loki deserved to have his name carried on, not because of any actions or choices, but because they are both loved. He will be Njord Lokison, and that is the legal name on his birth certificate.”  
Thor let out a whoop. “Good. Now I don’t have to hide the gifts. This house won’t disappear. Welcome to your new home! Valkyrie and I are both nearby if you need anything. She said I should let you buy the furnishings you like, so these are all on loan until you make your own choices. I did have the nursery painted in that green you liked. I’ll go grab all your possessions from the car and set up the baby furniture.”  
“Thank you, Thor. You are going to be the best uncle in all the realms.”  
Valkyrie told me that Thor had been terribly hurt that he couldn’t acknowledge Loki’s son openly and that she was glad I’d changed my mind. She also intimated that Thor’s finances may not be completely stable, so I might want to take my time making choices about furniture. Further, Thor was drinking more heavily. She offered to help me navigate any needs for Njord and coordinate visits between Thor and Njord. “Thank you so much. Once I have a job, I hope I can support us myself, at least mostly,” I whispered since Thor was back in the house.  
“Oh, yes, a job! I am to give you this.” She handed me a rectangular card. This is a doctor’s office here in New Asgard that needs a transcriptionist. There are three doctors in the practice. That will get you started.”  
“How did this come about?”  
“Thor. When the date was set for you to arrive, he began a campaign to find you work. It was better than his staying home drinking, so I encouraged him. I paid for it with the Asgardian healers, though,” she laughed.  
“Did I hear my name?” Thor strode back into the room.  
“Yes. Valkyrie was giving me the card for the doctor’s office I should call upon. Thank you! You know, most of your life everyone has commented how like Odin you are. Of course, they are correct. But you have a good bit of your mother in you, too. She was a compassionate, caring person, and so are you. I loved Queen Frigga like a mother after my own mother passed. I am glad to now have a brother to love.” I put my arms about Thor’s waist.  
He squeezed me tightly, picking me up from the ground. “And I am glad to have a family again, with a sister who isn’t murderous.” We all laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stranger comes to town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have read some of the supposedly leaked spoilers of the Loki tv show, and incorporated a few of the ideas into my story. That doesn't mean the leaks are correct, or that I followed them as they were put forth, just that some things got my mind going in what I thought were interesting directions.

A lot had happened in five years. I got the job with the medical practice Thor had found for me and added another based on my good work. I decided to tap into mental health benefits, based on Bruce’s advice. He was concerned that lack of sleep, caring for a newborn, starting a new job, and missing Loki were taking their toll. I was doing better than many Asgardians, including Thor, but Bruce rightly pointed out that I needed to be a stable figure in my son’s life so that he would have a better childhood than his father. I took some parenting classes, as I knew next to nothing about babies or children. Thor wanted to be involved in Njord’s life, and he was, to an extent. The king had descended into alcoholism over his guilt in not saving Loki, more of our people, and a good many Midgardians. Valkyrie became the de facto King. She took care of all business and government, not just what Thor remembered to delegate to her. She checked in on Njord and me but had much to deal with as leader of the New Asgardians. She was King to the Asgardians and had been elected Mayor of the Tonsbergers.  
I made some friends. Actually, I deepened the relationship with one of the palace maids with whom I’d shared a room. I met a woman in the pediatrician’s office with a son a few months younger than Njord, who happened to live nearby. Kjersti was a bubbly, yet serene presence. She never seemed ruffled, even when little Finn was screaming. My baby’s crying terrified me, even though I knew it was normal. Kjersti helped me calm down, which in turn, calmed Njord. We began to meet a few times a week to chat, drink coffee or tea, and socialize the boys. Njord and Finn grew to love playing together, so at three years old, Kjersti and I enrolled them in the same playschool. It was so lovely to have some peace and quiet during the day to work! I was thankful for the friendships and acquaintances, especially as Bruce had taken time to “find himself.” I hoped that meant he’d be able to come to terms with Hulk.  
One day, I saw a truck come rumbling into New Asgard with Hulk in the back. Only it wasn’t Hulk, or Bruce Banner, it was both! He’d managed to integrate the disparate parts of himself into one being. It was Hulk’s body, with Bruce’s brain. I was so thrilled for him! But he didn’t have time to chat. He asked for the King. Thinking he knew Valkyrie was king in all but name, I directed him and his talking raccoon friend to her. Later, I saw Hulk, the raccoon, and Thor leaving the city.  
Not too long after that, Asgardians who had been dusted began pouring into the town, as well as Tonbergers! Families and friends were reunited and there were celebrations, not just in New Asgard, but around the Earth, as half of the population came back!  
Thor returned for only a short while, officially abdicating in favor of Valkyrie. He visited with Njord and me, then rejoined Rocket the Raccoon and the Guardians of the Galaxy to protect the realms once again, more realms than we’d ever known about.  
I reconnected with Bruce, who told me all about how The Avengers, the New Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and the Masters of the Mystic Arts had reversed Thanos’s Snap by performing their own to bring back those killed. He gave a long-winded dissertation on time travel that was complete gibberish to me. Bruce had been the one to wield the Infinity Stones, due to his power as Hulk, but had suffered permanent damage to the arm. He said it was a small price to pay. He credited me with setting him on the path to becoming “Smart Hulk”. I was so delighted to talk with him again! There was also a battle with Thanos who had traveled to Earth, but they all fought him, and Tony Stark gave his life to rid our world of Thanos, once and for all. I was sad to hear of his passing, and Natasha’s too. I made a note to send a card and flowers to Tony’s widow, Pepper.  
There were adjustments to be made when a city, a nation, and a planet suddenly has twice as many humans to support, but we muddled along pretty well. After all, gaining those pals and kin back was much better than losing them! I must admit, though I was happy for the return of those near and dear, my love was still not coming back, and I felt a little jealous. I found a closed internet group of folks who’d lost loved ones in ways other than Thanos’s Snap who were processing similar feelings. I obviously didn’t tell the whole story, but I was able to find solace in our shared angst amidst the joy.  
When autumn began, playschool started back. Kjersti and I put our sons in all five days. They were normal preschoolers who loved to run and make lots of noise. We were normal mothers who wanted a break from all the chaos. Kjersti would pick up Njord in the mornings to drop the boys off. I would go to pick them up after lunch. We still visited for a couple of hours two days a week.  
It was a chilly Friday in October and I’d been working on transcriptions since Njord had left. I got up to take a break, making myself a cup of tea. I shrugged into a jacket, stepping out into the sunshine. The brisk air was refreshing, and the sun gilded all she touched with her light. I saw a man strolling up the street. He was dressed in a black coat over what appeared to be a dark suit. His raven hair made his pale face seem to glow like the brightness of the day. From a distance, he resembled Loki. Strangely, as he drew closer, the resemblance grew. He noticed me watching him. He crossed over, heading toward my gate. I came down to ask if I could help him, but facing him directly, I felt my world tilt. I dropped my teacup. The shrill sound of shattering china brought me back to myself.

  
“Hello. I’m sorry to have startled you, I thought you saw me coming. I won’t take up your time. I just wondered if you could point me to the home of Thor of Asgard?” His voice, so smooth and musical, excited my nerves, but there was something off about his tone. It was polite, but formal.  
“Loki?” I whispered, still dazed.  
“Yes. You must be Asgardian. I’ve, um, been traveling for some time. I am just now finding New Asgard. I suppose everyone thought I was dead again.” He gave his most charming smile. “If you’d be so good as to give me the direction, I’ll leave you to clean up the remains of your cup.”  
I looked down at the broken pieces on my front walk, unseeing. He didn’t recognize me. Other than sporting Midgardian clothing, I appeared mostly the same. There was something terribly wrong. He didn’t know about Thor or Valkyrie. I brought my gaze back up. “Thor has gone to protect the Earth and all of it’s neighbors with a group called the Guardians of the Galaxy. He left the throne to Valkyrie.”  
A calculating expression crossed Loki’s face before he hid it. “Ah. Then I must meet this Valkyrie.”  
“If you will wait just a moment, I will take you to her. I can clean up later. Just let me grab my keys.” I hurried into the house, pulling the charger from my phone. I sent a fast text to Val. “Loki’s here. Something’s wrong. Doesn’t recognize me or that Thor left. Bringing him to you.” I exited, locking my door, swiftly traversing my walk to the gate. “We aren’t far from the City offices. Where have you been lately?” I strove for a light, casual air.  
“Just traveling,” he responded dismissively.  
We walked a few blocks in silence, then I tried again. “I’m sorry that you missed Thor, but I’m sure Valkyrie will be interested in hearing all about your journeys.”  
“I’m more interested to see how she feels when a real member of the royal family with a claim to the throne arrives. Clearly, I am needed here,” he stated haughtily.  
My heart plummeted. This wasn’t the Loki who’d helped us escape Hela, the man who fathered my child. This sounded like the unbalanced Loki who’d tried to wipe out the Jotuns and take over Midgard. What had happened?  
We reached the office building where Valkyrie conducted the government in New Asgard. Loki stalked to the receptionist’s desk to demand, “I must see Valkyrie. Now.” The poor woman dropped her phone, staring in disbelief. Fortunately, Val opened her office door right at that moment. The prince strode into the room as if he owned it. Our King motioned me inside, too.  
“Who is this?” Loki challenged.  
A man wearing a blue robe over black trousers, with a red cape thrown over it all was seated on the sofa. His hair was dark, with streaks of white over each ear. His dark blue eyes penetrated the Asgardian prince with an assessing stare. “My name is Dr. Stephen Strange; I am a Master of the Mystic Arts. I monitor threats to Earth, and You, Loki Odinson, are one of those threats.”  
Loki bristled. “Odin was not my father, Midgardian. You have no business here. Nor do you, Asgardian,” he said, turning to me. “My business is with Valkyrie alone.”  
“They are both here at my behest,” Val asserted. “If you wish to speak with me, you will do so only in their presence.”  
“I am the rightful King of Asgard, and you need to step aside.”  
“On the contrary, you just stated that Odin was not your father. That means you are not a prince. King Thor appointed me to the position in his place. But you have more pressing concerns. Dr. Strange has come to see you, not me,” she smoothly answered.  
Loki imperiously looked down his nose at the doctor. “I care not one jot that you think me a threat. And what do you think you could do about it?” He was smug.  
“You should care. An event is about to take place that will change your life. I’ve come to ask for your cooperation, but this will proceed, nonetheless. I am aware that you have arrived from an alternate timeline. There are many timelines that have been inadvertently created that need to be clipped. When that happens, all the timelines will merge to one- this one. You will take your place here, but I don’t understand what the effect will be regarding any other versions of you that currently or formerly existed in branches that are pruned. I came to offer you a place to stay and ask that you let my colleagues and I observe you during the process to help if there are adverse consequences.”  
“You’re going to put me in a cage?” Loki sneered.  
Dr. Strange shook his head. “No cages. A cabin in a wooded area. You’d have the place to yourself. We can bring you meals or provide food for you to cook. You may have books, music, a television if you’d like. You will be free to walk about the grounds. One of the Masters would visit you twice a day just to touch base. Otherwise, there will be technology that will scan you a few times a day to make sure you are in good physical health. In the interest of full disclosure, there will be a forcefield that will limit your movements so that you don’t interact with others who are going through the same process, and to confine only if you choose to stir up trouble or attempt escape. The forcefield can be widened or restricted, as needed.”  
Loki was unimpressed. “I didn’t come to this time for a holiday. I intend to stay here where my people should have a true king.” Val’s eyes narrowed but she didn’t otherwise respond.  
“Then I will take you by alternative means, and your freedoms will be considerably curtailed. That is not what I intended, but if you force my hand, that will be the reality.” Dr. Strange stood, alert, with an aura of leashed power.  
I saw Loki’s daggers appear in his hands. “Wait!” I exclaimed. “This isn’t Loki, back from the Statesman attack?” I didn’t follow the talk of timelines.  
“No,” said the doctor. “That Loki was killed by Thanos on board the ship. When the Snap was reversed, time travel was used…”  
“I know about that,” I put in. “Smart Hulk told me.” Loki scoffed at the name.  
“They went to New York during the invasion to gather Infinity Stones. While retrieving one of those stones, the mission went awry, leaving Loki in possession of the Tesseract, which housed the Space Stone. He used it to escape before being sent to prison in Asgard. That is the Loki before us now. He found a way to jump to this timeline- something I’d love to comprehend about how he accomplished- but for what purpose, I don’t grasp,” he finished.  
“That’s why you’ve forgotten me,” I breathed, relieved.  
Loki was startled. “I am acquainted with you?”  
“You were. In this timeline. The Loki in this timeline knew me.” I turned back to the Master of Mystic Arts. “Does he get an opportunity to think over your offer?’  
The doctor was nonplussed. “I don’t think you understand how serious…”  
“I do understand,” I interrupted. “But he just got here. Let him Look around. Then he can decide whether to go quietly.” I addressed this alternate prince. “I’ll take you to lunch. Show you around the city. Please, let me talk with you.”  
Taking my arm with a smirk, Loki told the other two, “We’ll see you later.”  
I took Loki to a small café, where I chose a table by the window. I told him I was cold and wished to sit in the sunshine, but I knew we were being followed and watched. I’m sure Loki was aware, too, but he made no comment. I dashed off a text to Kjersti that an emergency had arisen, and could she get the boys? Also, if she could take Njord out of New Asgard until tomorrow, I’d pay for any expenses for their family. I was desperate. Kjersti, bless her, agreed. I led right off with the question uppermost in my mind. “What do you know of the Loki from this time?”  
“I’m aware that he was imprisoned in Asgard, Frigga was killed, Odin left him in the dungeon for the funeral. Thor brought him on a mission to get the Aether of that woman and he tricked the oaf into believing he’d died. An Einherjar found him, so he assumed the guard’s identity. He found Odin, cast a spell on him, sent him here to Earth, then impersonated him as king for four years. Impressive, I must say. But then Thor had to come back. He brought that Loki along to find Odin, who promptly died, just after telling Thor that he wasn’t next in line to be king, either. There was a sister who arrived and destroyed most of Asgard, and they released Surtur to finish the job and the sister. Thor, that Loki, Valkyrie, and the people escaped in a ship brought to Asgard by my alternate. But Thanos found him and killed anyone who didn’t get away in an escape pod, except for Thor,” he recited, unemotionally.  
“Hm. Sounds like you and Thor are finally equals. Is Queen Frigga still alive in your timeline?” I questioned anxiously.  
“I assume she is,” Loki answered. “I certainly didn’t go back to Asgard to check.” He was looking down at his plate and wouldn’t meet my eyes.  
“How could you bear to leave a place where she lived to come here, where she’ll never be?”  
“First, she betrayed me, too. Second, I didn’t have a choice.” His voice trailed off at the end of the sentence, realizing he’d given away more than he intended. He retreated into his superior persona once more. “Are we finished now? Why don’t we go down by the waterfront?”  
Loki was looking for a way to escape, but I had an agenda of my own. “Maybe we’ll end with that, but first let’s walk around town, since we’re here. Oh, and I must pick up a book from the library.” The library was just two blocks over, so we went there first. “Why did you ask them to give me time? Not that I’m ungrateful. Just wary.”  
“Loki and I became close before his death. You share history with him. This is rather in the nature of a favor.”  
“Oh? You couldn’t have been that close. You did not turn up in any of my intel.”  
“Perhaps your intel is not as thorough as you think.” I selected a thin leather-bound volume from the shelf. The gold lettering read Wisdom of Queen Frigga of Asgard.  
The book was snatched from my hands. “What is this?” He thumbed through, stopping a few times to read a page or two. “I’m in this. I remember some of these quotes and stories. Who wrote this?”  
“I did. I was Queen Frigga’s maid in Valaskjalf. Our Loki told me my journal of memories should be put into a book to honor his mother. Thor helped me find a publisher. The New Asgard Library has three copies. Some bought their own copies to keep. Other Asgardians were inspired to write about home, too. Now there is a whole Asgard section. But this book was the first,” I boasted.  
“My magic lessons...” he started.  
I anticipated the question, having heard it before. “I was there, hidden, as a good servant would be,” nettled that he didn’t compliment my thoughtfulness in writing about my queen or acknowledge that my work was an inspiration to my people.  
“May I read this?”  
“Yes, after I check it out.” I checked out the book and led him to a corner with two comfortable chairs. He began to read, looking so like the boy I recalled that my heart ached. He was that boy and the young man. But the maturity he’d just started to display when we connected hadn’t taken place in this version. He was still raw. My mind was thoroughly confused. He was Loki, but not. I wished I could ease his hurt, but he’d never allow that. I wanted to hug him, to hold him, to tell him life could be better. I wanted to kiss him, caress, him… Lost in my thoughts of My Loki, I was embarrassed to find I’d been staring at the Loki beside me and he was calmly staring back. I ignored the blush rising in my face. “I’m sorry, I was daydreaming. Are you finished reading?”  
“I am. I’d like to talk to you about some of these. Perhaps you could even write down some of my recollections,” he pondered. Gone was the smug, superior attitude. This was the real Loki, still guarded, but the real man, all the same. I told him we could go back to my house and he agreed.  
I invited Loki to be seated. Meanwhile I put on the kettle to heat and swept up the remains of my broken cup outside. I prepared the tea and joined him on the sofa. Our conversation was similar to that I’d had with My Loki on the Statesman. I didn’t mention my knowledge of his parentage because I wasn’t sure how he’d react. It wasn’t important anyway. All I needed to do was to get him to trust me enough to convince him to go with Dr. Strange peacefully. He mellowed considerably as we swapped tales of Asgard. I periodically received texts from Val asking what was going on. I assured her all was well, and I’d tell her immediately if that changed.  
I cooked us a simple meal that evening. He deflected all questions regarding where he’d spent his time since New York and how he’d crossed into our timeline. He dwelled on the past, ruminating over old grievances, but also slowly recalling happier reminiscences. I encouraged the lighter, cheerier stories. The hours drew on. I told him I still wanted any other additions he wanted to make to my book, but he’d have to make a choice about going with the Master of Mystic Arts. I promised I would hold the sorcerer off for the night if Loki promised to go with him in the morning. He could sleep on the couch. It was a stupid bargain to make and I recognized it, but I wanted to keep him as long as possible. I excused myself to the bedroom to call Valkyrie, keeping the door slightly open so I could keep the prince in sight. I notified her of my plan. She vociferously objected, as did the doctor. I didn’t care. I told them to come to my house in the morning to take Loki. Then I phoned Kjersti to check in with Njord. She said he and Finn were thrilled to be at a motel with an indoor pool and snacking on junk food that neither got much of at home. I thanked her profusely, with a vow to explain everything tomorrow. I spoke to Njord, sending my love, admonishing him to behave, and wishing him goodnight. When I returned to my living room, Loki presented me with a photograph of Njord I kept on fireplace mantel. “Who is the boy?” he asked.  
“My son,” I warily replied.  
“You don’t have any pictures with a father. Does he have a father?”  
I placed the photo back in its spot. I couldn’t tell Loki the truth. He wasn’t my son’s father, and he was too dangerous. He might decide to conquer Midgard again with Njord as his heir. My child would not be subjected to any schemes this alternate might think up. “His father died in the attack on the ship along with other Asgardians who didn’t make it into escape pods. It is a common enough story here. Why?”  
“I don’t know. I got an odd feeling when I observed it, as if I should recognize him. But I don’t like children, so I’m not around them much. He isn’t particularly similar to you.” He shrugged in dismissal.  
The danger past, I said, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to record anything you want to include in the book so that I get it word for word. I’m going to set up my laptop here on the table.”  
I could ask the publisher for a revision to include any further accounts and I was grateful to be getting them. But now I’d have him on digital. It felt juvenile to be thinking this way, but I missed My Loki so much. I wasn’t just recording audio, either. I was recording video, as well. The only photograph I had was the one Bruce had given me that sat on the dresser in Njord’s room. I wanted one for me. I planned to take a screenshot to print. I got material to make up several more pages in the book. I would have to ask Thor if he’d like to add anything, thinking it would only be fair and Loki would never know, anyway.  
” I wish I’d been able to visit my mother again. I couldn’t when I left New York. I’m not certain I could in my timeline without being arrested. Now I’m not even certain I can get back to my timeline. It seems I’m doomed to stay here in Midgard. I guess I’ll go it alone, as I’ve always done,” Loki mused.  
“You haven’t always been alone. You just sat here telling me of instances where your mother supported you. Thor wanted to support you. You tend to hold those closest to you at arm’s length. I get it. No one wants to be hurt. But you can’t push people away then expect you won’t be left alone,” I pointed out.  
His annoyance was palpable. “Thor! The beloved first son- the beloved only son. I was meant to be a pawn. Even my birth parents didn’t want me. But you didn’t know that,” he spat. He’d jumped up, facing away from me. I believe he was fighting tears.  
“I did, actually. You mentioned it in Valkyrie’s office, but I was already aware. I was coming down to the vaults for cleaning. Servants have ears, even when we have to keep our mouths shut. Odin may have had a plan for you when he brought you to Asgard, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t develop feelings for you. He told your mother he loved you in my hearing. He even told our version of Loki before he died. He did intend for you to be a king; I assume of the Jotuns. Thor loves you and always has. He didn’t ask to be part of the Allfather’s long game any more than you did. Stop blaming him and accept the love he offers- either in your timeline, if it’s achievable, or in this one. He’ll be back and want to see you if you give him a chance. I can’t say anything regarding your biological parents other than they were fools. But you’ve had and can have more people who care about you than you are willing to imagine. Revisit some of your own positive memories to see what part others played in them. I get that I’m being blunt here, but it’s late, I’m tired, and my filter has been eroding since leaving the palace,” I snapped. “Take a hard look in the mirror. Don’t like what you see? Figure out how you can change it. No one else can do that for you. Do you want to be a king? Go fight for Jotunheim. Do you want to be a leader? Try Midgardian politics. Do you want to protect the realms? Seek out like minded people and form a team. There are all sorts of vocations you could pursue on Midgard. Find out what they are. Only you can determine your purpose. The last time you allowed someone to give you a purpose, it didn’t work out so well. Seek your own. You give away your own inner power and agency in favor of power over others. We all have good and bad inside. You deny the good. Or confuse it. You really need therapy.”  
“What is therapy?” Loki obviously hadn’t expected this rant. He was bewildered.  
“It’s talking to someone who can help you process and reframe events in your life to make changes going forward.” I yawned. “Now, it is late for me, so if you don’t mind, I’ll grab some linens for the sofa. Feel free to stay up as long as you like, grab snacks if you’re hungry, watch television, use the computer, whatever. I’m for bed.”  
Loki sat down next to me and took my hand. “Thank you for showing me your book and allowing me to add to it. And especially for reminding me of home. There were so many things I’d forgotten, many of them good. You live up to your name, Sjofn. I’m not sure I like all your opinions, but I find how you express yourself very sexy.”  
Once again, the similarity of the discussion with My Loki struck me. Even the warmth of his expression felt familiar. Tendrils of desire curled through my body as I remembered what had followed. I reminded myself this wasn’t My Loki, I’d feel terrible in the morning, I was courting disaster. I couldn’t help myself. I leaned closer and our lips met. I sighed as the kiss deepened. I slid my fingers through his hair, reveling in the softness. He broke contact with my lips to press his mouth to my neck. I hummed with pleasure. His hands began to travel my body and set me ablaze. “Forget the couch,” I whispered. “Come to the bedroom.” We tossed clothes about until we were down to our skin. The magnificent, perfect body was once again mine to behold. I assumed that what My Loki had enjoyed this version would, too. I wrapped my legs around him, sinking my teeth into his shoulder. It was his turn to groan, clearly as driven by ardor as I. We drove one another to distraction until we finally joined up, bringing us to a feverish culmination. Our bodies were covered in love bites. I rolled off him to settle at his side, uncertain whether he’d allow it, but he did. He slipped his arm under my head, turned on his side, and draped his other arm around my waist. Regret would come, but at that moment, I blissfully repressed it.  
I was dreaming that I was back on The Statesman. Loki and I were passing out bedding. I indicated a family to whom he should deliver pillows. “No,” he resisted, “Not until you say yes.”  
I was discomfited. “Loki now isn’t the time. We have to help everyone.”  
“I will. As soon as you say yes.”  
“But we haven’t talked this through.”  
“I don’t need to talk it through. I know what I want. And so do you. Say yes.” His feet were planted on the deck, hands on hips, blankets on the floor.  
“Loki be reasonable,” I implored.  
“I’ll be reasonable after you say yes.”  
“Fine. Yes,” I huffed, exasperated.  
Loki seized the blankets, tossed them to the man and woman who’d been waiting, and sprinted to the front of the ship, leaving me to distribute the rest of the bedding by myself. He was soon back, Thor in tow. “She said yes. Now marry us, Brother.”  
“What?! We can’t marry now. Everyone is trying to go to sleep!” I was incredulous.  
“No better time. We can celebrate our wedding night that much sooner! Go ahead, Thor.”  
“Loki, do you want to marry Sjofn, love her, raise a family with her, and stay together until the end of your days?” Thor boomed.  
“I do,” Loki confirmed unequivocally.  
All the Asgardians were watching, surprised, and interested at the little scene playing out. “We can’t…” I hissed sotto voce.  
“Sjofn, do you want to marry Loki, love him, raise a family with him, and stay together to the end of your days?” asked Thor, still using his thunderous conversational tone.  
“I do, but…” I tried again.  
“Excellent! As King, I pronounce you…”  
A noise outside cut through my consciousness. I sat up, instantly alert, pulse racing. I heard voices. I jumped out of bed. I was naked and Loki was gone. I threw on a bathrobe and slippers, padding to the front door. I flipped on the outside light to reveal Valkyrie, Dr. Strange, and Loki in cuffs on my lawn.  
“He was trying to escape,” Val uttered disgustedly.  
“Of course, he was. He’s Loki,” I responded, disappointed that once again, I wouldn’t awake in his arms.  
“You know, I feel it won’t make much of a difference, but it’s truly nothing personal, Sjofn. Your book was wonderful, you were very kind, and the night was lovely. But I was hoping to avoid him,” Loki shifted his eyes in Dr. Strange’s direction.  
“Luckily, I was keeping tabs on you,” the doctor rejoined. “Valkyrie will you hold on to him while I created a portal?” Val grasped Loki’s collar and put a dagger to his throat.  
I stepped out into the frigid night, approaching my incorrigible lover. “I was hoping this would go better for you, but I can’t save you from yourself. I wish you only the best, peace, and true joy. I love you.” I caressed his face, kissed him gently, then went back into the house and locked the door without glancing back. I crumpled onto my sofa to weep over Loki. Again.  
The most difficult thing I had to do was to tell Njord that Loki had come to new Asgard and left without seeing him. How could an almost five-year-old understand that this was not his father? I let him video chat with Bruce about how time travel worked. That settled the question for him. He took it all in stride. “A” Loki had come to town, but not “His” Loki. I wished my brain were that accepting and resilient!  
Kjersti was a different story. For the first time in our friendship, I witnessed her anger. Righteous anger. She was glad Njord hadn’t met the alternate Loki, praising me for having the foresight to send my son out of town. No, what truly bothered her was that the Asgardian prince had thought to supplant Valkyrie. Not only a s King of New Asgard, but as Mayor. Kjersti wasn’t an Asgardian, she’d married one. She was incensed that this fellow called himself a god and was going to subvert the will of the people. She could remember the news out of Stuttgart and New York from 2012 and had no love for this version of Loki. She even scolded me for harboring a fugitive and sleeping with him. Well, she wasn’t wrong. But I felt that if the hours I’d spent could possibly impact him positively, especially since he’d be stuck in our timeline, it was a good thing. We went round and round on the issue for months. Kjersti’s husband finally convinced her that if I had given Loki a reason to at least think about all the atrocities he ad to atone for, and a tie to home and his mother were an inspiration, I’d done the world a favor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is this Loki?

Spring in New Asgard was especially lovely this year. I’d planted some flowers in my yard that were in full blossom. They were so profuse I was cutting some to place around my home for a pleasing scent, while Finn and Njord played. Kjersti and her husband were out with other friends, so Finn was staying with us for the night. I would take the boys to playschool and Kjersti would pick them up in a reversal of our normal schedule. I took my flowers inside to find vases and start supper. I heard the notification tone on my phone but decided to check it later. The two growing lads gulped down their dinner and cleared their plates. I got them into the bathtub and pulled out my phone. Bruce had sent a message that Dr. Strange wanted to speak with me, along with a cell number. I texted my thanks to Bruce for passing along the info and made plans to video chat later in the week. I sent a message to the doctor. He responded almost immediately, asking if he could visit my home to discuss an issue regarding Loki and asking for a convenient time. I told him any evening after eight pm New Asgard time would work for me, since Njord would be in bed. The Master of the Mystic Arts related that he would come by the next evening. I got the kids into pajamas and settled for the night. I spent the rest of my night puzzling over why Dr. Strange needed to talk to me instead of Thor.  
The following evening, I’d just gotten Njord tucked in when a knock sounded on my door. I invited the doctor in and prepared tea. Once we were comfortable, he expounded on the reason for his visit. The timelines had been merged. The effect seemed to be that the Loki whom he had in custody, as the only living version, had absorbed the memories of the Loki of our time. Problem was, he believed they were false recollections, planted by Dr. Strange. This sounded like a movie plot to me, but Loki was a mistrustful sort, not unreasonably, so it probably made sense to him. The doctor said Loki wanted me to confirm whether these were truly remembrances because he trusted me. I inquired as to why not Thor, and the doctor said Loki insisted it had to be me.  
“There is one more thing you need to know before you decide, Sjofn. I won’t go into details, but Loki has been, shall we say, a difficult person with whom to interact. We expected it and have dealt with the situation. However, it has taken months for him to calm down enough to even negotiate with him. He’s been asking for you since December. We have only recently determined that it may be safe enough for you to come. You must understand that I can’t make guarantees, though. What I can do, is put a forcefield around you so that he can’t touch you, and be present, ready to take you away, if he shows signs of intimidation or violence,” intimated the Master of Mystic Arts.  
“Will you release the forcefield if I wish?” I queried.  
“I don’t think that is wise. Doing so may leave you vulnerable to danger. I don’t want to jeopardize your safety, nor should you, with a small child,” he considered.  
“What about leaving us alone? There may be details I am uncomfortable discussing in front of you.”  
“I assure you, there is very little to surprise me and I won’t be there to cast judgement on you. I will consider stepping out onto the veranda where I can see you, but even that is a risk. Loki can magically lock me out long enough to take you hostage. That is my greatest concern,” warned the doctor.  
“I appreciate your concern and I agree the forcefield should not be retracted, no matter how I beg. My worry is that Loki will attempt to expedite the process by simply looking into my mind. I don’t want him inside my head without permission. He has likely surmised that the other Loki is Njord’s father. I won’t give him any material that he could use to take Njord from me. I am perfectly aware he will use trickery to convince me he’s changed. But that is something he’ll have to prove, and he won’t like that at all. There may still be a possibility that I’ll want to speak with him alone. I want that to be an option.” I was insistent on this point.  
Dr. Strange agreed to my request, so we set the plan into motion. He’d retrieve me from my home once my son went to playschool, transport me via a portal. I’d return the same way in time to pick up the children. That would give me approximately three hours to spend with Loki.  
I kissed Njord goodbye then swiftly cleaned the breakfast dishes. I had just finished when the doorbell rang. I opened up and stepped outside with Dr. Strange. He created the portal, we exited New Asgard, and arrived in front of a wooden cabin surrounded by forest. Birdsong filled the air. My heart hammered. I had no idea what to expect. The doctor pulled a strand of my hair, flexed it with strands of golden light, then conjured a forcefield around my body. We mounted the few steps to the porch, where the sorcerer rapped upon the -door. Loki, dressed in jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie, pulled it ajar and stepped back to allow us in. He gave me a warm smile. I wasn’t reassured; I was suspicious. The Asgardian prince could a charming silver-tongued devil when he chose. He led me to a worn sofa and sat beside me. The doctor was lowering himself into a recliner, but Loki stopped him. “If you must make a nuisance of yourself, kindly so do from over there,” the prince intoned, gesturing toward the kitchen table. Dr. Strange rolled his eyes but complied.  
“Sjofn, I’ve been wanting to see you for ages, but that second-rate wizard refused until now. How have you been? I’ve been so alone here but thoughts of you and our bond have sustained me,” Loki intimated smoothly. He reached for my hand but encountered the forcefield. “What is this?” he growled.  
“It’s a safety precaution,” I responded before the Master of Mystic Arts could speak. “You have the power to simply go inside my head for my memories and you rarely ask permission before doing what you want. If you seek my assistance, you must abide by my rules, not the doctor’s. Show me you can be trusted. It is my understanding that you want to confirm events that you seem to be remembering that happened to the Loki of my timeline. Tell me what you ‘recall’ and I will tell you if they match.”  
My prince regarded me for several beats and nodded. “That sorcerer has been trying to make me think things to suit himself. He wants me in a prison, so that is the first thing I thought of. I was in an Asgardian dungeon cell. I was sentenced there for life by Odin for what he called my crimes on Midgard. I was not to have contact with anyone. An Einherjar who’d been assigned to bring meals to me only the day before, brought you to my cell. You were carrying a large stack of books. I conjured an illusion that appeared to you both as me watching disinterestedly, but I was actually directly in front of you. You were familiar to me, but I couldn’t exactly place you. I was also unsure why you’d been allowed to come to me. My mother used her magic to visit me. She’d sent you, she made a point of revealing, because you were so like your namesake, the goddess Sjofn. The second time she visited, I sent her away, refusing to acknowledge her as my mother. That can’t be true.”  
“It is true. I can’t confirm the illusion, though what I saw was you leaning against a wall, arms and ankles crossed, as you say, disinterestedly. Your alternate told me later that Queen Frigga felt that I was the embodiment of the goddess. When you dismissed her, I held her as she cried.” I fought to contain my emotions. I could see the prince’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears, shocked by this revelation. I desperately desired to hold Loki’s hand, hug him, something. The forcefield was in place for good reason, though, and it wouldn’t be lifted, even if I begged. We locked gazes. I could feel the energy flowing between us as we silently communicated. I wasn’t aware of any powers of telepathy he might have, only that we were connected and drawing strength from that connection.  
Finally, his eyes broke with mine. We both took a few deep breaths to collect ourselves. He related the incident in which I’d been caught out staring at “Odin”. He didn’t just have the flashbacks themselves, but also the motivations and feelings that accompanied them. The prince gave commentary on these as he talked. In that case, he knew Odin wouldn’t have let the incident slide, as it had been noticed by others, so he had to address it. But he’d specifically requested that I serve at court from sheer curiosity, stemming from Frigga’s machinations. He’d instructed the Lord Steward to reprimand, but not dismiss, or reassign me. Loki went on to relay his commission of his gold statue and his stint as a playwright and producer. He took great delight in how he’d forced all of Asgard to not only acknowledge, but celebrate him. The statue was born out of pure spite and some ego, but the play considered to be more sincere. Yes, it was written to manipulate the citizens into pitying him, but also to give voice to his side of the story. He’d been fairly annoyed when Thor, the beloved, came back right then to ruin everything.  
I asked if he could tell me of Odin’s death. He threw a disgusted look at Dr. Strange, whom I’d forgotten was there. The doctor just sat watching with a bland expression. As he explained that Odin had actually complimented his magical skill and opined that Frigga would have been proud, I saw emotion rise in him again. Then he remembered that Odin had expressed love for both he and Thor. He adjusted the angle at which he’d been sitting to hide his face from the doctor, as the tears leaked and rolled down his cheeks. He cleared his throat. “You told me in New Asgard about this. I thought it was meaningless. I was wrong.” I’d brought a bag with me. I reached inside to find a tissue that I placed on the sofa between us. “Thank you,” he hoarsely said. Once again, we communicated via our eyes and that strange current. “Go away, Wizard. We have things to discuss that are just between Sjofn and me.”  
“Go to the porch, please,” I requested softly. The Master of Mystic Arts took his leave. Once the door clicked closed, Loki recounted our shared time aboard The Statesman. Several times he reached out or leaned toward me, only to encounter the forcefield. He’d briefly jump up to prowl the room, cursing the doctor. Then he’d rejoin me on the couch and the electricity between us would fire again. When he reached the point in the story where he gave back my journal for safekeeping, he realized the bag I’d brought was the one I’d brought from Asgard. I reached inside again, pulling out my journal. “This belongs to you. I have a copy of my book. But you own the original.”  
He picked up the chronicle from the sofa reverently. He ran his hands over the cover and binding. “Sjofn, I never meant to leave you. Even when I saved Thor, I wasn’t intending to die. I fully expected to come back to you. I’m so sorry.”  
It was my turn for waterworks. I fished out another tissue. As I did so, Dr. Strange tapped on the front window, then tapped his wrist. My hours were nearly up. The moment had come to tell Loki the truth. “I have to leave. I have to pick up my son and his friend from playschool.”  
“Ah. I had forgotten…you have… a son.” I watched the awareness dawn in his eyes. “Your son…is our son?”  
“Yes. Do you recall the photo on my mantel?”  
“I felt like I should recognize him.”  
“Because he looks like you. You even commented that he doesn’t resemble me. There is a reason for that, but I can’t explain now.” Dr. Strange rapped again.  
“Sjofn, you must come back. They still won’t let me leave here. Please, let me meet my son. I don’t even know his name,” he babbled, becoming agitated.  
“I will come back. I’ll arrange it with the doctor. But we’ll have to talk about when you can meet Njord. It will happen, but you must have patience. I promise I’ll be back!”  
The door opened and the Master of Mystic Arts stuck his head in. “Sjofn, time’s up.”  
“I’m coming.” I grabbed my bag and stood. I wordlessly told my prince I loved him with all my heart.  
Back home, I mentioned going back to the cabin to the Sorcerer Supreme, as I climbed into my car. He nodded and said he’d find time next week. I didn’t tell anyone about my visit. Njord would want to see his father right away, I figured, which wasn’t going to happen for a while. Kjersti could no longer be confided in, at least regarding Loki. Valkyrie- no way. The last time she saw the prince, he was bullying her. I wished I could get in touch with Thor but contacting him when he was in town was troublesome enough. In space, it would be impossible. That left one confidant. To be fair, Bruce was the best choice, anyway. He’d been with me through the most challenging period of my life and all the tumultuous hormones that went with it. He understood the depth of my love and was unsurprised when I slept with Alternate Loki. Best of all, he’d experienced the time travel that led to the current situation. With the boys back to their houses, I texted, saying I wanted to video call soon. He got back right away to confirm he could talk that very night. I poured out everything. I believed that Alternate Loki truly possessed My Loki’s recollections, thoughts, and emotions. Further, I was convinced he was moved, even changed by them. Perhaps he was becoming My Loki.  
Fatherhood was the issue. I hadn’t had to worry over Loki’s past tainting too much of Njord’s life, except for that one brief night. Now the prospect loomed. I’d discovered over the last five years that having a child brought back one’s own childhood vividly. My parents had loved me, and I’d felt safe and protected until their deaths during my teen years. Loki was infinitely more complicated. I didn’t witness his early years at close range, but I knew from Queen Frigga he’d always felt abnormal, in competition with his brother, and somewhat left out. He was sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, and other sensory input as a very small boy. He’d never really had friends of his own, or others who enjoyed magic the same way. Apparently, he’d been taunted by other children for being too smart and bookish- the very things I loved about him- and took jokes personally. When he pulled pranks, they usually involved magic and could’ve been dangerous. He’d been called effeminate for preferring magic over strength. Men in the Asgardian nobility were versed in magic, as well as women, but it was primarily taught to them as a back-up or an aid to brute strength. Loki was trained as a warrior, he could fight, and was quite good with certain weapons, especially his daggers. But his preference for magical trickery was derided.  
I was struggling, desiring to resume a relationship, to maybe even become a family. Even My Loki had a history of manipulation, emotional dysregulation, and violence, though. I wasn’t a fool. He wasn’t “reformed” when he died. He’d just made a string of less selfish choices. There was no way of knowing how long that might have lasted. Now I had to face the fact that the Alternate Loki could have a deleterious effect on my child. He would bring all the traumatic baggage of My Loki, plus whatever traumas he’d accumulated in his own timeline. I didn’t have any details, but when he accidentally revealed that he hadn’t jumped to our timeline by choice, I’d thought that ominous. I assumed that whatever or whomever brought him here had been eliminated by the clipping of the timelines, but the damage that could have been wrought would stay with Alternate Loki. The psychological effect of combining My Loki and Alternate Loki still remained to be seen.  
Bruce listened patiently, grasped the enormity of the situation, and concurred with my conclusions. He could even identify with a few of Loki’s issues. Bruce had also been teased for being what he called a “Teacher’s Pet” and “nerd” growing up. There were mean kids who became mean adolescents, turning hostile and beating him up a few times. He developed anger issues. When the gamma ray accident happened, it took anger management to a whole new level. He reflected that it was no wonder that romance had never really worked out for him, much less fatherhood. He ended by praising me for my loyalty to Loki, reminding me that I was my son’s protector, and assuring me he was always there for me when I needed him.  
The week went by more quickly than I could have imagined. I was nervous for this meeting because it could break the tenuous bond I had with Loki. Dr. Strange and I arrived as before. Loki was on the veranda watching when we came through the portal. The doctor insisted on encasing me in a forcefield again, due to the nature of the discussion I was to have with the Asgardian prince. He’d seen first-hand Loki’s temper when thwarted. Worse, he’d witnessed the destruction when that temper combined with magic. Various areas of the cabin and its contents had been repaired after outbursts. My prince gritted his teeth with anger but said nothing when the doctor waved his light strands over me. We entered the wooden house, seating ourselves in the same spots.  
“I’ve been counting the days, Sjofn. I missed you,” Loki breathed. He smiled.  
I firmed my resolve. “I missed you, too. Today is going to be more taxing than last week, though. Before I get into that, I want you to know up front that I’m willing to call on you every week for a few hours as long as you want me. I’m not abandoning you. But I’m also not going to give in to your every request or plea. And I will definitely not tolerate intimidation. I reserve the right to leave if you throw a temper tantrum or issue threats at any point.”  
Loki was understandably taken aback. This was very divergent from how our last interview had progressed. He stiffened, his face a mask of wariness. “What has happened? Has that sorcerer said…”?  
“Leave Dr. Strange out of this. I have had to think long and hard about the implications of you having My Loki’s memories and my son. I promised you will meet him. I have no intention of breaking that promise. There will be a timetable, though, that I hinted at last week. Upon further reflection, you will also be supervised for a while. How long will depend on you. Njord is my first priority. I love you, Loki. I have for most of my life. But I am responsible for Njord, and any risk to his wellbeing…”  
“You think I’m going to hurt my son?” my lover practically shouted. He was incensed.  
I took a deep breath, blinking slowly. “Not intentionally, I don’t think. But I don’t think Odin set out to intentionally hurt you, either. I have been a parent for five years, now. It is hard. It brings remembrances I’d long forgotten to mind. Our son has a gentle, loving disposition, but he knows how to push all my buttons when he wants his way. I don’t expect that to become any easier as he grows. I need to trust that when bad flashbacks surface or he is pushing the boundaries of your patience, that you’ll be able to handle that. You’ve had to grapple with handling animosity and disappointment as long as I’ve known you. People who are hurt often hurt others. I accepted that about you, though I always hoped you’d learn self-discipline. It’s not about me, anymore. Njord needs for you to be the kind of father you wish you’d had. You can be that for him, but that will mean acquiring some new skills. That is what I am asking of you. That you will be open to learning how to parent, that you will be open to discovering more about yourself. I’m not expecting anything of you that I haven’t done myself. I’ve taken parenting classes, read books, and been to therapy in an effort to be a good mother. It will be a huge challenge, but you are a strong, intelligent man. Obviously, you can choose not to do those things. But I will insist on supervised visits until I know that the artifice and brutality to which you’ve been prone have abated and that you won’t model them for our son. Children do what they see, not so much what they are told. I believe you said as much at your trial when you told Odin that thought you were going to rule Midgard in the way he ruled Asgard. And when I held your mother, she recounted the conversation in your cell. You compared the lives you took during your invasion to those Odin took in battle. Those are exactly the sorts of thing I don’t want Njord to learn or imitate. I want you to understand from the outset my concerns, my boundaries, and the consequences. The rest is up to you.” I was quaking inside, afraid of the coming outburst, terrified he’d threaten to take my child. Outwardly, I sat straight and resolute, looking Loki unflinchingly in the eyes.  
For the first time, he appeared to be unsure of himself. He visibly gathered himself. “You mentioned therapy when I stayed at your house in October. Explain that more fully, please.”  
I glanced over to Dr. Strange. “Wait outside, please.” He was clearly puzzled by my command but left the room. “In and of itself, it is simply talking with someone who has studied behavior who guides one to make changes. There are various types. If you are truly interested, I can find some information to give you to sort through. As long as I am tossing out foreign ideas, here is another. Dr. Strange has life-altering traumas in his past that led to both his vocation as a medical doctor and his position as Sorcerer Supreme of the Masters of the Mystic Arts. His life as a surgeon, a doctor who cut open Midgardians to repair damage inside their bodies, was quite a contrast to the man you see today. In Bruce Banner’s words, he was ‘an arrogant, entitled, spoiled asshole.’ Which means he’s changed a lot. He’s been through some sort of behavior modification, and could be a resource, if you are willing to ask. I didn’t want to mention it in front of him in case you are reticent about seeking his assistance. Also, I don’t want him to pester you if you choose not to pursue counseling.”  
“I am confused. How do you know Bruce Banner? You’ve referred to him before.”  
“When I realized I was with child, I had to confront the fact that he’d be half-Jotun. I was unsure how he’d appear. I couldn’t allow him to be delivered by an Asgardian or Midgardian in the event that he looked different. Thor called Bruce because he’d worked as a healer and had delivered babies. Njord was born at the Avengers Training Facility, delivered by Bruce. Steve Rogers rubbed my back during contractions, and held my hand and a picture of you for me to concentrate on during labor. Natasha Romanoff lived there, too. She died during the Infinity War. I lived there with them throughout my pregnancy, while I trained for a job to support Njord and me. I left after a medical doctor checked on me post-partum and gave me leave to go home.”  
“The Avengers housed you and delivered our son? They hated me, for good reason.” Loki seemed unable to digest this.  
“Tony Stark paid for my training, as well. He sacrificed himself in the final battle with Thanos.”  
“Tony…why?”  
“Because Thor asked them. He was so thrilled that you had, as he phrased it, ‘outsmarted Thanos’ and would live on through your child, that, at first, he didn’t grasp the implications of your adopted status. Frankly, I believe he forgot that you were born in Jotunheim. You were just his brother, whom he loved. So, when I pointed out the potential pitfalls, he did everything he could think of for us- but really for you.”  
Loki ran his fingers through his hair distractedly. “I…I’m...I don’t know what to say,” he stammered.  
“I’m sorry. I forget there’s a lot you missed. But you knew he loves you. You came to an understanding on The Statesman. He hugged you, didn’t he? I predicted he would, but you never told me one way or the other.”  
“Yes, he did,” chuckled Loki. “I’d forgotten you’d said he would. You also said he wasn’t exactly like Odin, he had my mother in him, too.”  
“He still does. You’ll see when he next visits Midgard. He’ll be overjoyed that you are here, that you’ve gained these recollections, and he’ll most likely hug you- again!” We laughed. Our energy bond burst into life. So much passed between us in those silent moments. Too soon, Dr. Strange called me to return to New Asgard. I assured my lover I’d be back in one week.  
I was back again, bag in tow. When we got inside, I pulled out papers I’d printed out about therapy sorts. “You can read them at your leisure. Just some descriptions.”  
Loki tossed the papers onto the coffee table. “I’ll look at them later. I’d rather attend to you right now.” He probed into my work, my social life, and a plethora of queries regarding Njord. “I ache that I wasn’t there for you. You should never have had to worry over having a Jotun child. I know how to prevent that, but I didn’t think of it. You were lucky he appears Asgardian.”  
“You appear Asgardian.”  
“Due to Odin’s magic. He changed me when I was brought to Asgard. I took on the Jotun appearance once when a Frost Giant grabbed my arm in Jotunheim and again when I touched the Casket of Ancient Winters. It was when I held the Casket that the conflict you overheard in the vaults occurred.” His voice dripped with loathing.  
“I’m confused by that. The spell over Hela was broken by his death. Why would any spell cast on you hold? As a servant, I never learned Asgardian magic, of course. But you were not only tutored by Queen Frigga but read most of the books on the subject in the Asgardian library. Can you explain it to me?”  
Loki was thunderstruck. “I don’t know. He must’ve used a spell that would break at my death, not his. I can only assume that the spell he put on Hela was meant to break upon his death. His reasons for his choices were unfathomable to me. Maybe because of the Ragnarök prophecy,” my prince contemplated bitterly.  
“Thor didn’t mention that you reverted to a Jotun appearance when you died. Do Frost Giants have magic?”  
“Their own, I suppose. Thor probably didn’t want to distress you further.”  
“Perhaps. But Njord was pale blue with textured skin at his birth,” I boldly declared.  
“What?!”  
“Actually, you can see his birth if you’d like. Tony Stark had all kinds of Midgardian technology around that compound, none more so than in the medical bay. Bruce added a microphone to feed into the computers, in addition to the cameras already there to record my son’s entrance into the world. After Njord was born, Bruce pulled the footage from the computers for me to keep.” I patted my bag. “I’ve brought my laptop, if you care to watch.”  
“Please,” came the hoarse response.  
I set up my laptop, inserting the flash drive into the port. Bruce had made sure to protect my modesty when he put the footage together. It began when I measured nine centimeters, running through to when I swaddled Njord and placed him in the bassinet next to me. Loki wondered where the photograph of him had come from. I paused the video, explained, and went on. He actually laughed when I cursed him, exclaiming, “Such language, Sjofn! You must have learned those words in the servants’ quarters.” But when he beheld Njord’s transformation, heard my soft, soothing words, he wept.  
I waved Dr. Strange out of the cabin. “I promise I’ll come right back,” I whispered. I followed the doctor. “Release this forcefield. Our time is almost up for today, and he is not a danger right now. Please, we need to hold hands, or hug, or something. We need the connection. Do it now,” I demanded. The doctor only nodded and waved his hand. I returned inside to wrap my arms about Loki. His eyes widened in surprise as he pulled me into a tight embrace. “I regret nothing,” I murmured. “I have cherished the reminiscence of our brief union together on The Stateman. And Njord has brought great joy to my life, even in the challenges of parenting. My life is fuller and richer because of both of you.” We held each other until the sorcerer indicated I must go home. I gave my sweetheart a lingering kiss goodbye.  
A few days later, Bruce texted that Dr. Strange had contacted him regarding Loki. The Asgardian prince wanted to speak with him. I told him I was unaware of Loki’s intention, but mentioned that I’d shared the birth video. I also indicated that Loki didn’t know about Smart Hulk. Bruce wasn’t really up for actually seeing the prince in person, anyway, but he’d work out some way to communicate with him, possibly by phone. That gave me the idea to get Loki a phone. Nothing fancy, maybe even an old flip phone. I’d pay for it and we’d be able to call when we weren’t together. I presented it at our next meeting. I hadn’t informed the doctor. He was annoyed but didn’t deny the gift. I showed Loki how to use the gadget and programmed my number into it, and his into mine. I asked if he’d spoken to Bruce. He affirmed that he had and expressed astonishment over Smart Hulk and how Bruce had changed his life. He’d chosen Bruce because of the two totally opposite personalities. He’d intended to ask Bruce how he coped but got more valuable information. Apart from the scientific aspects, Bruce had spent time in counseling himself, leading to the integration of the minds. Loki indicated that he’d often felt he had two forces inside him, vying for supremacy. For most of his life, he termed them good and bad. After the discovery of his birth, he termed them Asgardian and Jotun.  
“You know, everyone has that struggle. Most want to choose actions that will benefit, not harm, others. I’m not sure that all Jotuns are bad and we are both acquainted with Asgardians who aren’t good. You might want to reconsider those designations. Absolutely don’t phrase it that way in front of Njord. I am teaching him that he isn’t a bad person because he is part Jotun. Neither are you,” I put forth.  
“I am bad because I choose to be?”  
I half smiled. “You have chosen at times to give in to your darker impulses, especially when driven by emotion. You are capable of sound, even advantageous, cognition when you approach a problem logically. Your anger and hurt tend to drive rational thought out, though. That’s when your inner chaos manifests in rash, and often destructive ways. Just something to think about,” I tossed out casually.  
Loki responded, “The last time I saw her, my mother told me I was perceptive about everyone but myself. As usual, it seems she was correct. Another issue for therapy, I suppose.”  
“Oh, you’ve decided to pursue that course?”  
He nodded. “I want to meet my son. I want to be a family, so I’ll abide by your stipulations. Bruce gave me the name of his therapist, who has also worked with other Avengers. The lady is used to hearing about improbable sounding circumstances and conducting sessions over technology. The wizard is allowing the devices I’ll need.”  
I shot Dr. Strange a grateful smile, then grinned at my prince. A sizzling kinetic force sprang up between us. I waved the doctor away. He started to protest. “You can watch, if you want,” I said throatily. The man gave an exasperated sigh but walked out. Loki was as yet unaware that I was unconfined by a forcefield. My prince was flummoxed by my cryptic remark until I kissed him. We were hungry for one another. Every kiss, every touch was white hot. I forced myself to pull back. “I can’t have another child right now,” I panted.  
He rubbed his hands over my abdomen, under my dress, murmuring an incantation. The he slid his hands down to my thighs. With a sharp exhalation, I stood, removed my panties, then straddled my lover. He’d simply magicked away all clothing from his lower body. We rocked together. It was hot and intense, like the other times, but it was different, too. The awareness that we were seeking a future together, side by side, that we were forging a relationship, brought a deeper dimension- we made love for the first time on the sofa in that chalet.  
Loki began his therapy and for six weeks, he grew and evolved. Dr. Strange didn’t come inside the cabin anymore, nor was I restrained at all. My prince shared some of his experiences from his sessions with me, particularly when he felt he’d made a breakthrough, or was provoked by something he couldn’t quite wrap his head around. Most weeks we made love but not every time. But then Loki hit a snag in his counseling. It nearly shattered our burgeoning relationship. He was finally confronting his low self-esteem. For a few weeks, he was reactive, verbally combative, and actively attempted to bait me into arguments. Twice, I left early, refusing to allow him to treat me that way.  
The fourth week of this reversion to the dysregulated and volatile Loki, matters came to a head. Dr. Strange was back inside the house at all times, ready to whisk me out. The forcefield surrounded me once again. So far, the prince had held himself back physically, but the strain was showing. His Jotun heritage and Odin’s subterfuge, followed by his murder of Laufey and attempted genocide, had come out. Projecting all his self-loathing, maniacal behavior onto his fathers, he stalked about, ranting. He went into graphic detail of how he could have exterminated every Jotun from the realms. His ire triggered mine. Gone was the subservient maid, who’d drowned her misgivings about her love in pity for him. My son was half Jotun and every word Loki spoke sounded in my ears as a recrimination for bringing such a child into the world. I shouted right back at him. I reminded him that his Asgardian family loved him, that he was no monster- to no avail. Then came the blow I knew had been waiting to fall. Loki growled out, “I am a Frost Giant just like Laufey. I could and would turn your little New Asgard into frozen wasteland forever, not just in winter. I could go back to Jotunheim and bring an army to push all of Midgard to its knees. And when I am King, my heir will be there to be groomed as Crown Prince.”  
I lost all semblance of control. I ran into the kitchen to grab a knife. Loki conjured his daggers. I screamed like the mythological Irish banshee, “You will never take my son. I’m not raising him to be a power-hungry man child like you. You stay away, or so help me I will kill you!” We were heading straight for each other with our weapons. Suddenly, I was tripping over pavers in my front lawn. I dropped the knife still clutched in my grip, collapsing to the grass to bawl. I never knew I had that kind of violence in me. I never dreamed I’d threaten the man I’d loved all of my adult life with murder. A car rumbled by, bringing me to my senses. I went inside, washed my face, and used the computer to make an appointment with my own therapist; my bag with my phone was still at the cabin. Njord and Finn would need to be picked up from playschool in an hour. I got some water and simply stared into space until time to leave.  
Dr. Strange dropped in after my son’s bedtime to deliver the bag I’d left behind. He seated himself in a chair. He steepled his fingers, resting them against his lips, gathering his thoughts. He lowered his gloved hands. “Sjofn, I can’t allow you to visit again. I already had misgivings about Loki lately, but you’re both too unstable to continue. I confiscated the phone you gave him. It’s in your bag.”  
I swallowed a few times before I could speak. “I understand. I’m going to my own therapist soon. Please tell me Loki is going to continue with his.”  
“I don’t know. I will allow him to if he wishes. The point is to deal with one’s issues. I’m not sure he is in the frame of mind to do so, though. I had to confine him to the house, which I am fairly certain is being destroyed inside as we speak. But I promise you, none of those threats will come to fruition.”  
I nodded. “I’m not certain he’ll ever want to see me again, but if he does, and you deem us both safe, will you let me know?”  
“I will. Take care of yourself, Sjofn. Your son needs you. Eating well, exercise, good rest, and counseling will all help.” He rose. “I’ll take my leave, then. Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight. Thank you.” I locked the door behind the doctor and clicked off the lights. I padded to my bedroom for another good cry.  
Counseling sessions took the place of my weekly Loki visits. I had to work through fury I didn’t even know existed. Back in Asgard, I’d clung to my view of the prince, as the queen had clung to hers. I did acknowledge his sins and offences, but still defended him, using sympathy as a shield against anyone who sought to paint him as a villain. I’d not just loved him, I’d been obsessed with him, and still was. I stuffed down all my negative feelings about his crimes, resulting in pent-up ire that came flooding out when his poor behavior imperiled my son. My counselor guided me to find a more realistic view of my lover that neither put him on a pedestal, nor debased him, as I felt some Asgardians had done. We also talked through how growth isn’t immediate or linear.  
It had been months since the explosive scene with Loki. I’d heard nothing from the Master of Mystic Arts since that day. I gradually fell back into my old routines, established before Alternate Loki had arrived in New Asgard. I missed how much he’d become like My Loki. I just missed him. I wondered how he was faring. Nevertheless, I refrained from contacting the doctor. It was during the dark, cold days of January that I received a text. “Loki ready to talk. Forcefield and my presence. Your choice.” I confirmed.  
From the minute I entered the wooden chalet, I could tell I wouldn’t be there long. Loki was sullen. He bypassed any sort of greeting to get to the point. “The wizard says I will not be released or meet my son until you determine. I want to negotiate. I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement.”  
I matched his business-like tone. “What are you offering?”  
“Marriage. We marry and create a ruling family.”  
“Oh? What will we be ruling? And am I a co-ruler or just a broodmare?” Dr. Strange was on the edge of his chair, sling ring in place.

“I will be King of Jotunheim and Midgard. You may advise. Njord will be Crown Prince. We can have more children if you like. It would be wise to have an heir and a spare.”  
“No, thank you. I wish to marry for love, not dynastic considerations. Furthermore, I don’t believe Midgard will be conquered. And finally, my son will follow his own path, wherever it may lead. If you care to counter with better terms, I am all ears. Or I can come back later if you need time to consider new conditions.”  
“I was born to be a king!” the prince yelled.  
“Yes, you were,” I stated matter-of-factly. “I was born to be a farmer’s wife, produce a family, and live a relatively prosperous life in Asgard. Life holds no guarantees, except change. Maybe you need to adapt. I assume you have discontinued therapy?”  
“Of course. It wasn’t helping me at all,” he sneered.  
“In my experience, it gets worse before it gets better. I will consider when you may meet Njord for a supervised visit. I can tell you it won’t happen until you concede his involvement with your plans. Oh, and out of curiosity, why do you still want to be a king? Thor isn’t a king, so there is no competition. Valkyrie is more of an administrator than a king to New Asgard. And you didn’t seem to take much interest in governance when you disguised yourself as Odin. So, why?”  
“That’s what I was raised for. I was taught the skills of kingship.”  
“Hm. Why don’t you make a list of your skills actually are? Since government and administration aren’t your forte, find out what is. A new dream isn’t a bad thing. If there’s nothing else, I’m going home. The doctor can reach me if you want me to drop in again.” I reached for my coat, as the snow outside picked up. Loki watched me intently but said nothing more.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Loki meet his son? Will his relationship with Sjofn survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still using rumors from the Loki TV series and Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness as inspiration  
> Special thanks to my daughter- my sounding board and editor, and giver of ideas when I am stuck  
> I would love feedback, if you are so inclined

I was summoned again in early March. While Loki wasn’t warm, he was polite. He inquired how I had been getting on and after Njord. Then he uttered the one sentence I never thought to hear from his lips. “I apologize for my boorish behavior and for using our son as a pawn. I recognize that I did the same thing for which I despised Odin, though at least I didn’t hide it. Moreover, I should never have pulled my daggers on you. I am more than capable of defending myself from a dull kitchen knife.”  
That was my cue to own my part in the clash. “It was a gross overreaction to threaten you with any sort of weapon. I abhor violence and did not act according to my convictions. I am sorry, as well. I am glad to hear you say you won’t pursue our son for you own ends. Now I need to be able to trust you. We’ll need to build an amicable association…”  
“I think we can have an association that is more than amicable, Sjofn.” He turned on the charm. His famous silver tongue and devilish smile had been perfected by a lifetime of wheedling. I steeled myself against them.  
“That is not an option. You are Njord’s father, so I will do what I can to facilitate some sort of relationship between the two of you, but you’ve proven yourself to be mercurial and abusive. I won’t subject myself to that again. I certainly won’t subject Njord to it. Remember how offended you were that I would suggest that you might hurt your son? I now have proof that it is possible. If you can control yourself and be agreeable, you may have the supervised visits I promised. I will drop in every couple of weeks for conversation. We’ll see how that goes.”  
“Sjofn, I thought you loved me.” His expression was equal parts hurt and calculation.  
“I do. Love doesn’t mean trust. When I came here for the first time, I laid out all my expectations and requests. Everything went swimmingly for a while, now everything has gone sideways. Those expectations and requests are still in effect and will drive my decision on timing and access to our son. My emotions will not alter those facts. I’m going now.” Before we reached the bottom step, the doctor and I heard crashes and splintering inside.  
Loki and I settled into a new routine of stilted dialogue bi-weekly. He still employed his charisma, although less and less as I refused to respond. He asked for a written document of my expectations. During one of our visits, he informed me that he’d returned to therapy. I flashed the first genuine smile I’d given him in almost a year. “I hope you find it more helpful this time.” He nodded yet didn’t reciprocate. From that point, the prince mellowed and thawed slowly. We chatted more easily, and he became friendly. It was May, and the trees were full and green. Wildflowers had sprung up around the cabin. Loki invited me to stroll outside to enjoy the fresh air. Dr. Strange stayed on the porch. We didn’t speak much, mostly taking in the beauty of spring. We were ambling back toward the wooden house when Loki halted. He sincerely questioned, “Will you please come back every week like you used to?”  
I didn’t stop to think. “Yes.”  
Loki began to open up a little more each visit. He’d calmed considerably and was sharing what he learned in counseling again. The prince shocked me once again when he confessed that Eir, the Asgardian healer, had consented to see him. She’d suggested some Midgardian plants that might be helpful to bring clarity and peace. She’d left a list and Dr. Strange, who was familiar with most of them, had procured some in pill form or tea to try. One helped him fall asleep. He hadn’t realized how poorly he slept. He was more refreshed, better able to deal with minor irritations. He cited the Sorcerer Supreme as one of his chief provocations. I articulated that I could mark the difference in him, and that I used what Midgardians called supplements myself. I found them efficacious.  
The prince additionally shared that, “I have a small voice that speaks to me. Not a hallucination, more like my conscience, though most don’t believe I have one of those. The thoughts are radically opposed to any I’ve had before. Some build on therapy, however, some are spontaneous. I think more about loving and being loved. My heart has become hard and needs to be softened. I need to be authentic, instead of hiding behind trickery. I should serve others. I’ve literally never thought like this before.”  
I informed the doctor it was time for Loki and Njord to be introduced. He was still slightly wary nevertheless agreed that Loki was much improved, meeting my requirements. I would come on the same day next week only later in the afternoon, after playschool. Again, I enlisted Bruce to aid me in explaining to my son how A Loki had become His Loki. The concept of a different Loki receiving the memories of his dead father, Loki, when the timelines merged was totally plausible to my little boy with his imagination. I revealed this to him the day before the visit was to happen because I was afraid he’d be too keyed up otherwise. I didn’t do much to prepare him; I simply couldn’t figure out how to go about it. I did tell him that there would be a fiery circle to walk through, which he said sounded cool. He asked what he should call the prince; I responded that he should ask Loki. Getting Njord to sleep was a chore. He was constantly asking about his father’s likes and dislikes, mostly related to his own. I kept repeating that Asgard had had unrelated games, no TV or movies, the prince had been educated by tutors rather than a school, etc. I regretted my choice to wait to inform my child of the impending call. I could have at least let an Asgardian noble share some memories. Oh, well. It was one night. Then Loki could experience the pleasure of parenthood and the incessant questions of a six-year-old! I finally got the rambunctious lad quietened and tucked in with his father’s picture an hour late. I caught up on some work, did some light cleaning, then turned in for the night.  
  
Njord was dancing about the lawn when the portal opened. He was awed by the ring of blazing light and the Sorcerer Supreme. He ran up to me to grab my hand, which I gave a gentle squeeze. He glanced up and I winked. He relaxed only marginally. Dr. Strange walked over. “Hello, Njord, I’m Dr. Strange. Your mom has told me all about you. I’m going to be with you and your mom if you need anything. Your father is a bit nervous because he doesn’t know many children, so you’ll have to help him. Can you do that?”  
“Yes sir,” Njord whispered.  
“Good. He’ll like you very much. Are you ready?”  
My little boy nodded solemnly. The doctor led us across the grass and through the portal. Loki was on the porch. He focused on Njord hungrily, though he was rooted to his spot. A frisson of fear ran up my spine. It was not long ago that this man had imperiled my son, intent on his own destructive path. I quashed the thought, reminding myself we’d be hurled home immediately if the prince tried anything untoward. My boy was gripping my hand so tightly it almost hurt. We reached the veranda. I introduced my lover to his son. “Loki, this is Njord. Njord, please meet Loki.”  
Njord drew himself up tall and stuck out his hand. “I’m pleased to meet you, Sir.”  
Loki squatted down to Njord’s level, shaking the small hand with his much larger one. “I am pleased to meet you, too. Would you care to come sit? Or would you like to walk around out here?”  
My baby shifted his eyes to me, as if to ask permission. I smiled with a faint nod. “I want to walk. I don’t like sitting very much, except when I look at books or TV.”  
“Oh? Do you read yet?” Loki inquired as we set off, the doctor following behind.  
“Not yet. Mamma reads to me. We practice the alphabet in Norwegian and English a lot. Are we in Norway?”  
We all turned to Dr. Strange at the question. “Sweden, actually. It is an abandoned resort for tourists.”  
“Oh, okay.” My boy was really interested, the question had just passed through his thoughts. “Do you like to read, Sir?”  
“Yes, I enjoy reading very much. Please don’t call me ‘Sir’. I prefer something less formal.”  
“What should I call you?”  
“What makes you comfortable?” My heart melted when Loki recognized that Njord could have an opinion and gave him the opportunity to express it.  
“Mamma and Uncle Bruce told me how you are a different Loki from my father, but that when your timeline went away, you got all his memories. So, you are kind of ‘A Loki’ and ‘My Loki’ all together. I’m not sure I should call you Pappa, so maybe just ‘Loki’ like Mamma does?”  
My prince was understandably bewildered by the chatter about A Loki and My Loki but didn’t mention it. He simply stated, “That sounds like a reasonable conclusion. Call me Loki. Is ‘Uncle Bruce’ Bruce Banner?”  
This query was directed at me except Njord didn’t notice. “Yes. He talks to Mamma a lot and teaches me things sometimes. He looks odd to most people. He’s big and green. His eyeglasses look funny, I think. He’s really smart and he’s nice to us. We talk on the computer.”  
“I see.” Loki clearly didn’t see. On the contrary, he appeared disgruntled. A little boy’s constant blabbering could wear on one’s nerves, so I suggested we go inside for tea. If the child’s mouth were full, he couldn’t prattle so much. Loki prepared tea and brought out cake, while I took my son to wash his hands.  
Njord practically inhaled his slice of cake, then shot a barrage of questions at his father. “Are you really Uncle Thor’s brother? Mamma says my father was a Jotun, but I shouldn’t talk about it a lot. Are you a Jotun? I’m half-Jotun. I was blue when I was born, but Mamma says when I saw I picture of my father as an Asgardian, I changed to look like him. I have the picture in my room. You look like his picture. Is that because you are A Loki, too? Does that mean I look like you?

If an earthquake had struck at the moment, causing the floor to open up, I’d have happily dived in. Apparently, my son didn’t think “I shouldn’t talk about it” applied to the subject. I could feel my face burning. Loki appeared dazed, mouth agape. Dr. Strange was alert to the tension however betrayed no interest in the outcome.  
“I am Thor’s adopted brother. I was born a Jotun. I am aware of your change at birth from your mother. I experienced a similar change, but I was unaware that I came from Jotunheim until I was an adult. Your father and I were the same person until a time travel event split the timelines. That is why Dr. Strange brought the timelines back together. I received your father’s memories, and I still have my own memories, too. We are one person again, I suppose,” Loki answered, with uncharacteristic diffidence.  
“So, you are my Pappa?”  
“If you want me to be, yes. I was in a different time when your father and mother were together, still I remember how much he wanted to be with her and love her. I was still in that timeline when you were born, but he’d died, so I’m sorry you didn’t have anything except a picture. I am staying here, though, and I hope that you and your mother will allow me to love you both. Your father and I have always wanted to be in a family that loves each other, treats every member as equally important, and doesn’t keep secrets. Your mother was very wise to tell you that you are half-Jotun, even if she wants to keep that in the family. It is good that you know who you are and that you are loved, no matter what.” Loki’s lashes were wet.  
I was uncomfortable. My relationship with Loki had been progressing, on the other hand, I was intentionally taking it slower after the crisis of last year. I wasn’t ready for marriage and I didn’t want my son to get his hopes up that we’d be like Finn, Kjersti, and Knud. I could hear the longing in Loki’s voice, in his words. Here he was at last, the authentic Loki, voicing clearly what had driven him his whole life- to a six-year-old. Deep inside, he’s become emotionally stuck as a child, desiring approval he didn’t know how to obtain. Bearing what felt like rejection because Odin expressed love in such an incompatible way and was eaten up by his own guilt over Hela, whom Loki resembled. From the moment I saw the murderous hag, I wondered if this was why Odin favored Thor, who looked more like his beloved Frigga. After Njord’s transformation, it occurred to me that if Loki could’ve had the power to see inside Odin’s thoughts there on Jotunheim, as he could do magically now, might he have seen Hela? Those were unanswerable questions, only they could explain so much. I felt overwhelmed by emotional strain.  
I caught Dr. Strange’s eye. He spoke for the first time. “I know you won’t like this, but I have to bring this call to an end. You can pick up again next week.”  
Loki and Njord wore twin expressions of dejection. It was amusing, yet heartrending at the same time. They plodded side by side out to the grounds. Njord turned to Loki as the doctor conjured his portal. “May I hug you, My Loki?”  
“I’d like that.” Dropping to one knee, my lover wrapped his arms around the little boy, while the child stood on his tiptoes to reach around the man’s neck. My prince looked up. “Sjofn, thank you,” he choked out.  
I couldn’t speak. I nodded, took Njord’s hand and crossed back into my yard. My baby burst into sobs. I carried him into the house, sat down on the sofa with him on my lap. We stayed that way for a long time. That night, Njord begged to sleep in my bed. Normally, that only happened when he was ill. I gave my permission. He crawled under the covers; his father’s photo clutched to his chest.  
I kept Njord home from playschool the next day so he could process his feelings. I made his favorite breakfast then we went to the backyard. He played on his swing set while I worked a bit. When he came to sit with me, I set my laptop aside. “Mamma, is My Loki going to be my Pappa?”  
“I don’t know, Sweet. What is a Pappa like? What do you want him to do or be?”  
“Well…” he dragged out the word. “Finn’s pappa is Asgardian and he lives with Finn and his mamma. He does some of the things you do with me, but he takes Finn places by himself to learn about Asgard and what he calls ‘the old ways.’ I guess My Loki would live with us and teach me the old ways, too.”  
“What about Sigurd, from barnehage? His pappa is Asgardian, too. His pappa and mamma live in individual houses. Sigurd spends time with each of them, just not living together. Does Loki have to live with us to be your Pappa?”  
“I guess not. But he said he wanted to love you and me. You said you love him. Why can’t he live with us?” I knew it was coming, only I’d hoped to avoid this question for the nonce. I hadn’t communicated to Njord a lot about his dad’s past, especially his hostile tendencies. Not only did I not want to taint my child’s viewpoint if Loki changed, but I wasn’t sure what he’d understand.  
“Loki made some extremely poor choices in his life. He did some things that harmed and frightened a lot of people. He still thinks about those things sometimes as good, while others, including me, see them as bad. He is working on understanding why they are problematic and changing his viewpoint, but I don’t know when or if that will fully happen. I can’t let him live with us until I can trust that he won’t hurt us or other people. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him. That is also why, when you hang out with your father, you won’t be alone with him. I have been going to see Loki for a year and I am always evaluating, along with Dr. Strange, how he changes and grows as a person, whether he is safe, and how much time we can spend with him. I want you to love him, however he has had some terrible things happen to him for which he developed ways to protect himself at the expense of others. He hurt others in retaliation or to make himself feel better. You can want for him to learn to heal from this pain, still, he has to choose to do that. If he can, and can make better choices, then maybe we can all live together. If not, we will have to protect ourselves. We will still love him and wish for what’s best for him.”  
“Is my Loki a villain? Because people say Uncle Thor is a hero and they like him. Villains are bad and most of them don’t like My Loki,” Njord admitted softly, staring at the ground.  
“He has acted in ways that many people would consider villainous. I am aware that his motivation for doing so isn’t out of wanting to be mean or malicious but out of his pain. I think of him as broken. Everyone is a little bit broken; he has suffered some serious breaks. Still, we have to learn to heal from our breaks. Even Uncle Thor went through a time when he let his brokenness drive him to do things that weren’t healthy and I limited how much he saw you, made sure he was supervised, to keep you safe from any accidents that could result from his decisions at the time. Loki is still learning. How do you know other people don’t like him?”  
“I’ve heard grown-ups who are from Asgard talk when they thought I couldn’t hear them. They say he’s bad but I’m lucky because I’m like you. Some say he used to be bad, but he helped save them in the end of Asgard. Some were scared when A Loki came to New Asgard. They say it’s because he’s a Frost Giant, even though Odin tried to make him Asgardian. Is My Loki bad because he’s a Frost Giant?”  
“No. Asgardians fought with Frost Giants for a long time and the Jotuns tried to conquer the Nine Realms, led by King Laufey, who was Loki’s birth father. Asgardians think of them as warlike and villainous. We don’t actually know much about them as a result of only seeing them when there were battles. Maybe there are only a few who are warmongers and the rest want peace. There have been some very bad Asgardians, too, like Hela. What if other realms thought all Asgardians are like her? We’d be the villains. Loki’s Frost Giant heritage is painful owing to his Pappa and Mamma leaving him to die. Odin rescued him, which was good, only he didn’t tell Loki about it when he was a boy, or even as a young man. Loki found out accidentally. Loki heard all those stories about the Jotuns being monsters as he grew up, so he was afraid he was a monster, too. He isn’t. He just doesn’t know what he is.” I pulled Njord onto my lap to look him in the eyes. “We should remind him a lot that we like him, tell him what we like about him, and encourage him to make good choices.”  
“Like you do with me?” my baby suggested.  
“Yes. And I’m sorry you had to hear people say mean things about your father. I wish you’d told me sooner, so we could’ve talked about it sooner. I wanted to protect you from that since I knew it could happen but that would be a similar mistake to Odin’s. Please, Baby, come tell me if anyone says anything that bothers you. I can’t make them change but we can talk about our hurt with each other. Home is a safe place, and I aim to keep it that way.”  
“Okay. Can I go play some more?”  
“Of course.” I kissed his cheek and allowed him to run back to the swing set. I needed to work, on the other hand, I was too emotionally drained. I let watching my little boy soothe my aching heart.  
I’d given Loki his phone back when I started seeing him every week. He called that night. He inquired after Njord right away, having heard his cries as the portal had closed. I disclosed that our son was processing the meeting. I didn’t mention that Njord wanted him to move in with us. I shared that he was more confused by the idea of two Lokis who had been one and became one again than I’d expected. “He asked a lot of questions about how you could become his Pappa, which I suppose you have realized is a common title for Norwegian fathers. We talked about families and that they don’t all look the same. The expectations are fluid. He has claimed some ownership of you, though. He doesn’t simply call you ‘Loki’. He calls you ‘My Loki’ in the possessive form. Until he met you, you were ‘A Loki’.”  
“Why did he say, ‘A Loki’?” the prince inquired.  
“That’s the way I referred to you when you came to New Asgard to find Thor. A Loki had come to town, but not His Loki, so he didn’t meet you then. I had no inkling that would muddy the water, so to speak, considering I had no expectation that all this would come about. Still, now that you are ‘My Loki’, he has decided you are family, regardless of his confusion.”  
“I am glad. I never thought I’d enjoy hugs until you and Njord came into my life,” Loki pondered, wonderingly. “I find I dislike letting go. I called to ask you something, as well. I noticed that Njord calls Bruce Banner ‘Uncle Bruce’. Why is that?”  
“He knows Bruce helped bring him into the world, that Bruce is my friend, and that Bruce is Uncle Thor’s friend. It is an honorary title for a close family friend.”  
“How close are you?”  
He sounded jealous, but things with my prince weren’t always what they seemed. If he had some sort of grudge against Bruce or wanted revenge on Hulk for smashing him in New York, he might use my friendship as a way to get to him. “Why do you ask?”  
“You were alone for five years. Perhaps you got lonely.”  
“I did get lonely, although Bruce has only ever been like a brother to me. Besides, someone captured my heart a long time ago. I only have room in my heart for familial relationships and friendships.”  
“Would it be possible for you to bring Njord once a week, then also come by yourself once a week? I missed spending time with just you, Sjofn.”  
“I will have to figure out how to juggle that with my work and other responsibilities. I will think on it. Please give me a week or two to find a schedule that is sustainable, okay?”  
“Of course. I don’t want to stress you. I just want to be with you. I don’t want to choose between you and Njord, either.”  
“I want to be with you, too.”  
“I love you, Sjofn.”  
“I love you, too. I have to go now. Goodnight, Loki.”  
“Goodnight.”  
I heard disappointment in his tone. I was going to have to have the same heart-to-heart with Loki as I’d had with Njord. Stringing him along, thinking it was inevitable that we’d raise our son as a couple, or more immediately, that we’d soon resume our sexual relationship, was wrong. I was sure he assumed that if I deemed him safe enough for Njord, then intimate intercourse was a no-brainer. His brief descent into his former obsession and madness had shaken me. It was the first time all the rancor and abuse had been directed at me, personally. My own conduct was no less concerning. I had determined to take reconciliation slowly and I would hold to the choice.  
When Njord and I exited the fiery ring, Loki leapt down the steps to greet us. Njord dashed to meet him halfway. Loki swept our son into the air to swing him around. Our boy giggled with delight. He raised the child over his head to settle on his shoulders, as I reached them. “Shall we stroll?” the prince queried. We followed a trail that wound through the forest of Scots pine trees. Loki questioned Njord about his favorites- TV show, book, toy, game, food, color, and so on. The boy chattered happily for quite some time. Then he posed some of the same questions back to Loki. I fidgeted when Loki named Wisdom of Queen Frigga of Asgard as his favorite book.  
“Mamma wrote that. Is that why you like it?” piped Njord.  
“Partly,” replied the Asgardian prince. “But too, Queen Frigga was my mother.”  
“You are a prince like Uncle Thor?”  
“Yes, I was. I don’t think it matters anymore in Midgard. Besides, Valkyrie is King now.”  
“If Valkyrie is King and Uncle Thor guards the galaxy, what do you do?” Njord pressed.  
“Right now, I let Dr. Strange study the effects on me of the closed timelines. We couldn’t predict the outcome, like the thoughts of Your Loki becoming mine.”  
“What will you do when he is finished?”  
“I don’t know, yet. I have someone to whom I talk helping me decide.” I was learning as much from the conversation as was my son.  
“You helped Asgard escape Hela. Why don’t you guard the galaxy with Uncle Thor?”  
“I would rather not stay in space for long periods as Thor does. I prefer to do something on Midgard.”  
“Uncle Thor and Uncle Bruce used to protect Midgard as Avengers. Maybe you could be one of those.”  
“I don’t think The Avengers will have me. I attempted to invade Midgard and be a King over everyone here. Not a wise plan. The Avengers assembled to fight me. Even though there were some New Avengers, I don’t believe they are together anymore. Nor do I think they’ll trust me. I haven’t given anyone reason to trust me in a long time. I’m discovering that earning back a trust betrayed is infinitely more difficult than earning and keeping trust in the first place. I hope that when you hear about wicked things I’ve done; you’ll learn to be better than me.”  
“Mamma says when we love someone, we always want what’s best for them and them to be better, but that’s still their choice. When I misbehave, Mamma says I made a bad choice. Then she helps me think about what a good choice would be next time. Then she tells me she loves me.”  
“Your Mamma is a lot like my mother. They are both wise, loving women. I didn’t listen and obey my mother as I should have. I loved her but I didn’t tell her.” He pulled Njord down from his shoulders and knelt in front of him. “I want you to remember something very important for your life. If you learn nothing else from me, please remember this. Tell the people you love that you love them, even if you’re angry at them. It’s the most important thing to do. Can you remember that?”  
“Yes. I love you, My Loki,” my baby professed.  
“I love you, too, Njord,” Loki returned, hugging our child to his chest.  
Tea was held on the porch. The day was too beautiful to be inside. Loki was curious regarding playschool, so Njord gave a detailed account of his playmates and their routine. He proudly announced that playschool was almost finished then he’d be starting primary school. He wanted to read. My baby offered to read his father his favorite book when he learned how. Loki assured our boy he was looking forward to it. He chased Njord around a bit. They dropped onto the veranda furniture, sweaty and panting. My son piped up, ushering in the next awkward moment. “Why did you stab Uncle Thor so much?”  
How do children manage to make such a question sound so innocuous? My prince opened his mouth, closed it, opened again, closed again. Hesitantly, he responded, “At first, it was part of playing. He was stronger than I and could pick me up and toss me. I would use my magic to shapeshift and trick him then I’d stab him. Not with real weapons, usually sticks. Occasionally, as we got older, with a pocketknife. I didn’t intend to harm him, nor did I. Scratches, sometimes a bit of blood. Nothing Mother couldn’t heal in a trice. I myself was covered in bruises most of the time. As teens and young men, we became more competitive. Thor was still physically much stronger, contrarily, I was quick and adept at more advanced magic. Thor was considered the ideal warrior, which all noble sons aspired to be, with his size and strength. I did well with daggers. That wasn’t as impressive as Thor’s hammer. I used magic to gain advantage, which was fine in battle, except against other Asgardians during training, it was considered cheating by my peers. I didn’t understand why it was alright to use in war, but not training- how else could I know what to do on a battlefield? I was jealous that Thor was praised and well-liked and I was rebuked and barely tolerated. I hurt others, including Thor, with my daggers when I grew frustrated or enraged. I thought Odin loved Thor more due to Thor being a typical warrior like him. When I found out I was Jotun, I believed he loved Thor because Thor was his biological son and that I was only around to be used to make an alliance with Jotunheim. I didn’t know who I was anymore, I didn’t trust my family, and I was distressed and furious. Thor had fallen in love and seemed to have everything I coveted. That’s the only time I truly wanted to inflict injury on Thor. It was wrong of me, Njord. It was wrong to use weapons and aggression to make myself feel better.” Loki was staring out toward the trees, his face a red hue, his eyes haunted.  
Njord walked over, climbed onto his dad’s lap to hug him. “Mamma told me Odin loved you but didn’t show it well. She also said Odin didn’t make good choices all the time. Even Uncle Thor said that. Your Mamma loved you a lot, right?”  
Loki gave our child a watery smile. “Yes, she did. Even Odin stated to Thor and me both he loved us just before he died. I wish I could’ve heard it sooner. And Thor and I reconciled before I died. That sounds so strange to say. I hope when I see my brother again, we’ll be friends, too.” Our boy nodded and turned to settle himself against Loki’s chest. Within a few minutes, he’d drifted off to sleep. Bedtime was ruined, still I didn’t have the heart to wake him. The boy and the man, images of one another, were both at peace in the moment. The softness that came over my lover’s features made my heart swell with tenderness. I needn’t have worried. My son snoozed for only fifteen minutes or so. With wakefulness, came energy. The boy ran about gleefully, while the adults watched. “Sjofn, you’ll come again, alone, soon?”  
“Yes, Loki. I can come on Friday.”  
“Good.” He reached out to lace my fingers with his. He added no more, tracking Njord’s movements around the pines. Too soon, Dr. Strange declared that he had work to complete, and our afternoon together came to an end. Loki lifted the boy with one arm, enfolded the other around me, and brought us into a group hug. He bussed each of our cheeks, then let us go.  
“Will you teach me magic?” my son implored. Fear gripped me. If Njord learned his father’s magic, would he become more like the man? Would Loki once again want to use him to achieve conquest? The fear must have shown on my face because Loki appeared crestfallen, hastily hiding the expression.  
“Your mother and I will talk about it.”  
“Okay. I love you, My Loki,” Njord reminded him before traipsing through the portal.  
“I love you, too!” his father called. “And I love you, Sjofn.”  
“I love you, too,” I rasped, guilt flooding me as I left him.  
My stomach was full of butterflies. I longed for easy answers, serenity, just plain fun. Loving Loki had come with a lot of baggage. Navigating all the things I’d been hit with since Alternate Loki made the timeline jump defied description. I wasn’t going to give up without a fight, though. I yearned for us to be a traditional family more than did my son. I would exhaust every option until either there was none left, or we attained the goal. I was on the veranda when Loki jumped headfirst into our first item of business. “You don’t want me to teach Njord magic,” he declared, without preamble.  
“Can we table that for just a moment? I have to address something that will figure into that choice we have to make, and another I’ve already decided. I am uncomfortable talking about this, but we can’t move forward if we can’t discuss difficult things. Let me start by mentioning that when I was in therapy, even recently, growth wasn’t a steady upward trajectory. Bringing old grievances, distorted thought patterns, and unhealthy coping mechanisms into my consciousness where I could examine them was painful and triggered other things I’d stuffed down and forgotten about. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. I watched that happen to you, too. I was caught off guard by how deep your emotional scars run, though I suppose that was naïve on my part. However, your coping mechanisms tend toward the destructive. I’d seen the results play out with others, yet to experience it personally was terrifying. I am proud of all the progress you’ve made since then. You have an aura of tranquility I’ve never witnessed about you. You handle Njord’s awkward and provocative questions with thoughtful, humble aplomb. Humility is a trait you’ve previously disdained, but it suits you well. My concern is whether this change is a means to an end, or a new way of living. Our son is already marking every word you utter and watching to see if your actions match. If these are actions you’ve adopted to leave this place, or to gain access to your son, or both, otherwise don’t plan to incorporate into your life, he will most likely be the first to notice. That is why I am leery of magic lessons. You’ve always been mercurial, and that unpredictability worries me. For Njord, I don’t want him to have power that outmatches his judgement on when and how to use it. Midgard is unlike Asgard; Norway is especially distinct, culturally. Magic is less of an advantage here. I’m not absolutely opposed, only I’d like to wait a couple of years to allow him to mature and see how the two of you are relating as father and son.”  
Loki seemed to be listening intently and made no interruptions. Expressions flew across his face, though. Vexation, satisfaction, even shame showed in his countenance. As I addressed the issue of magic, his brows knit. “I don’t have enough information on Norway to have an opinion but waiting to study magic isn’t unreasonable. There isn’t a window of optimal learning, I don’t believe. More than that, despite your fears, again, not unreasonable, you are planning for me to be involved in Njord’s life as a parent. I don’t have the right to ask for any more than that. You mentioned another decision. What is that?”  
“I want to wait a while longer to resume a sexual relationship.”  
“The wizard will be happy,” my prince remarked sarcastically.  
“I will never be one hundred percent clear-headed about you, but I need to minimize distractions while I have to determine your access and influence on Njord. I can’t give you a timetable how long this will last. I didn’t come this determination lightly. I will still see you if you want me whereas physical intimacy will have to wait.” I scanned his reaction anxiously.  
Loki sighed deeply. “Sjofn, I want your companionship as much as I want your body. I’ll survive. Not happily, or comfortably, but I’ll survive.” He smiled wryly. “Just don’t abandon me. You are here with Njord, yet I need your full attention, sometimes, too. I want to give you mine as well. Maybe we could read a book together and discuss it?”  
“Alright. Any ideas?”  
“Have you discovered William Shakespeare at your library?”  
“Yes. How about Hamlet? That’s one with which I am familiar, so I can fit it into my schedule.”  
“Hamlet it is.”  
We whiled away the rest of our time learning each other’s tastes in Midgardian literature, poetry, and plays. I got my “just plain fun.” We found more common interests than just a shared homeland, some traumatic events, sex, and a child. The cerebral boy I crushed on was an intellectual lover of the arts as a grown man. No wonder I was in love with him.  
By July, Njord and I were spending most of the day with Loki, from mid-morning to after supper. Dr. Strange brought along books and papers, keeping mostly to himself. At dinner, the adults took turns cooking. Loki allowed Njord to help with stirring, showed him how to measure, and talked through the proper procedures for chopping. Though the Asgardian prince hadn’t pursued the use of potions, they were a feature of Asgardian magic his mother had taught him. He likened potion-making to cooking, which the Sorcerer Supreme seconded. With the comparison to magic, Njord began calling cooking his “magic lessons” and expressed surprise that I knew thaumaturgy, too. I chose not to disabuse him of the notion.  
My Fridays were half days, arriving home after tea, while Njord had playdates. We entertained his friends on other days. My prince and I discovered books, watched films, listened to music together. Loki even located music similar to Asgardian elite composers. He taught me a few of the dances he’d learned for balls given in the palace at which I’d served and watched. “Perhaps not all of Midgard is inferior. In fact, my perception of what is inferior was misguided. You should have been a noble, Sjofn. What we Asgardians lost in land and grandeur, we gained in better opportunities. Nobles no longer have to manage estates, artisans take over the family business, or farmers work the soil. Everyone is free to pursue their own dreams. Someday, I will marry you if you’ll have me,” he mused.  
“You are mostly correct. There are still family structures that pressure the younger to follow in the footsteps of previous generations. There are resources that are hoarded in the power of the few in many places. And there are groups of people that are vilified by those with privilege. Norway is a lovely place to live and values taking care of its people. Even in this wonderful place, though, the people have been much the same, and some don’t want refugees and immigrants who bring customs and values that may be in variance to their own. That is why they vote for the people who make their laws, so that the populace can decide the direction of the society, rather than a king or queen. Valkyrie represents New Asgard with the title of King but doesn’t have the same powers Odin did. I think I mentioned once that her position is mostly administrative. She is in addition Mayor to the people wo lived there before we came. They can choose to vote her out of office. She’d have to work with the next mayor, subject to city ordinances, as we are subject to Norwegian law. The people have a large voice in government. And, as you observed, there is more mobility between the classes.”  
“I never quite felt like I belonged in Asgardian society. I don’t fit in with Midgardian civilization, either. My therapist has suggested I join a group therapy session she conducts that would be with some of the Avenger allies. She says their various backgrounds have a few commonalities with mine and they’re less likely to reject me out of hand than I assume. If she is correct, though, maybe there are people who will understand me a little. I’ve never had friends who were mine, not Thor’s, until you. It’s just so odd that the group that may provide that prospect are connected to the Avengers.”  
He sounded lost and hopeful at the same time. I shrugged. “Same name, different people. If you don’t try, nothing happens. You took a chance on me. A reconciliation with Thor seemed impossible. You’re a parent. Going to therapy to begin with; all these have been new experiences that have required your social and relational skills to expand. There might be someone who needs you as much as you need them.”  
I could almost see the cogs turning as Loki contemplated the idea. He nodded. “I will tell her I’ll attend.” I nestled closer on the sofa, pulling his arm around me, sighing with contentment.  
Our boy was starting primary school. I literally begged the Sorcerer Supreme to allow Loki to come to New Asgard for one day so we could walk Njord there and back again. After much wrangling, he agreed, under three conditions. First, the doctor would accompany us. Second, Loki mustn’t interact with anyone else, other than us. He could smile, wave, or return a polite greeting, nothing more. Third, while outside my home, the Asgardian prince would be magically handcuffed to Dr. Strange. I had to plead with my love to agree to the third condition. Finally, exasperated, I burst out, “Do you want to be there for your son or not? Are you willing to sacrifice a bit pride that only you, the doctor, and I will be aware of, to make son’s day special?  
The high color in Loki’s face receded, his shoulders relaxed. He gave a sheepish nod. “Of course. I’m sorry. The wizard frays my nerves. Njord is more important. I’ll submit.”  
The big day dawned. I was cooking breakfast while Njord got dressed. A loud rap sounded at the door. “I’ll get it!” His sock-clad feet pattered to the entrance. “Finn is early.” SQUEAL! I almost flipped eggs onto the floor. “Mamma! Mamma! My Loki is here with Dr. Strange!” He was hopping on both feet.  
“Well, let them in, silly boy. You’re blocking them.”  
“Oh! I’m sorry. Come in!” He snatched his father’s hand as soon as the man crossed the threshold. “Are you hungry? Mamma’s making scrambled eggs on toast with salmon. That’s my favorite.”  
“Njord, Sweetie, there are plates stacked on the table. Will you set them out please? Then get some utensils from the drawer.”  
“Yes, Mamma.” The child did as he was bid.  
I pulled down cups for the men to pour coffee or tea as they preferred. I handed Njord his glass of milk. I transferred the food to plates as we seated ourselves. “I start barneskole today,” my boy announced.  
“Yes, your mother informed us. We are to walk you to school.”  
“Wow! Really?”  
“Yes. I wanted to share this with you. I was educated by tutors, so I never went to school. I envied the children who did, even though they complained sometimes. They had lots of friends. Thor and I had to sit in the Asgardian library while mostly old men droned on. I liked reading the books. In contrast, lessons were boring,” Loki recalled.  
“Did you go to school, Dr. Strange?”  
“Yes, I did. I went to a private school. My school was as large as the New York City Schools. My sister, Donna, and I made lots of friends when we were youngsters.”  
“You have a sister?”  
“Not anymore. She drowned when she was a teenager. That’s why I became a doctor. I couldn’t help her, so I decided to help other people,” he revealed matter-of-factly.  
“Why did you stop being a doctor?”  
“I was in a car accident and my hands couldn’t perform delicate surgeries anymore. In an attempt to heal them, I trained with the Masters of Mystic Arts. I learned so much more than how to heal my hands, but more about myself. I help people through the Mystic Arts now.”  
“Okay.”  
Annoyance was writ plainly on Loki’s countenance. The doctor was commanding his son’s attention and he didn’t like it. I redirected the boy’s attention to his father. “Loki, did having tutors leave more time for other pursuits?”  
“It did. After classes with my tutor, I went to my mother’s quarters for tuition in magic. In the afternoons, Thor and I both had training in combat.”  
“How did your Mamma learn magic?”  
“She was raised by witches.”  
Njord’s mouth dropped open. “Your Mamma was a witch?”  
“Not like the ones in Midgardian fairytales. Has your Mamma ever told you Asgardian stories?”  
“Yes. None of the Asgardian people here are witches, so I thought they were just stories.”  
“Hela got to them,” I quietly inserted.  
“They were very real. My mother would have loved you. She would have laughed, and played, and taught you so much more than I can.”  
I glanced at the clock. “Speaking of teaching, we need to go. Just leave the dishes. I’ll take care of them when we come back.”  
“Mamma, what about Finn?”  
“You’ll walk with Finn tomorrow like always. Today, it’s just going to be us.”  
“Okay.” Njord looked up at Loki. “Will you walk beside me?  
“I would love to.”  
We set off toward the fence. I saw Loki stiffen and heard his intake of breath but saw nothing that warranted such a reaction. As he drew open the gate, he sent Dr. Strange a glare of loathing, yet thankfully, nothing more. I realized that the doctor had handcuffed the Asgardian prince. I couldn’t tell visually but Loki’s reaction was sufficient evidence. I’d taken Njord to Activity School, which had begun the week before, to let him meet friends. Once we got to the building, he was ready to go. First, though, he hugged Loki and me and waved to Dr. Strange. We’d only taken a few steps away when I heard our boy call out, “My Loki?”  
He pivoted. “Yes?”  
“Will you walk me home, too?”  
“I’ll be here.”  
“Good!” And our child ran off with Finn.  
Ambling back to my cottage, Loki grasped my hand. He didn’t say anything, taking in the scenery around him- people, cars, houses, trees, etc. It was a companionable silence. At my place, we chose to be seated in the backyard. It was a lovely day. The doctor decided to do some reading inside. I was glad. Loki had virtually attended a group therapy session and shared a little about how it had proceeded. No one had outright rejected him or been rude. They weren’t over-friendly, either, however it wasn’t a party. Best of all, having two sets of memories in his head wasn’t shocking or unbelievable to them. He wanted to go back. I offered my encouragement.  
Njord’s school day was six hours, so we had time to kill. I taught Loki a few of the Midgardian card games Kjersti had taught me. We played for a couple hours before lunch, then had some sandwiches and fruit. Dr. Strange took his studies to the back while Loki and I watched a movie based on a play that centered on two minor characters from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet with the events from the Bard’s work playing out in the background of the story. My prince found it as fascinating as I had the first time. The Master of the Mystic Arts joined us just as we were rising from the couch. We headed back to the school. Our son was on the playground with Finn when we arrived. Kjersti was watching them play. I strode up beside her. “Hello, Kjersti! How did Finn like barneskole?”  
“He enjoyed it. He was disappointed that Njord isn’t in his friend group, but I assured him they’ll still play together. How are you?”  
“I’m well. You?”  
“Same as ever.”  
My boy’s voice rang across the playground. “My Loki! Finn, come meet My Loki!”  
Kjersti tensed but didn’t comment. The boys ran up. “Finn, this is My Loki. This is my friend, Finn. His pappa is Asgardian. That’s Dr. Strange. He watches My Loki.”  
“Why?” asked a puzzled Finn.  
“I don’t know. I guess he wants to. Something about effects of timelines,” shrugged Njord. I coughed to cover my laugh as both men glared at me.  
Loki looked down at the boys and put his hand out toward Finn. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Njord has told me a lot about you.”  
Finn shook Loki’s hand and shyly responded,” Nice to meet you, Sir.”  
I drew everyone’s attention to Kjersti. “I apologize for not making introductions sooner. This is my friend and Finn’s mother, Kjersti. Kjersti, may I present Loki and Dr. Stephen Strange?” They all gave polite greetings. Kjersti wasn’t thrilled to meet Loki and Loki wasn’t thrilled to be handcuffed to the doctor. “I’m sorry, we’re in a bit of a rush today, but we’ll be back to our old routine tomorrow. Bye-bye, Finn. Bye, Kjersti.” I hugged them, then herded my group up the walkway. Once again, our son had grabbed his father’s hand and was chatting about his day. I actually felt a small pang of jealousy that I was being thoroughly ignored.  
This wasn’t the usual day we would hang out with Loki, except I couldn’t spare an extra day for the sake of work, so he and the sorcerer were staying until Njord’s bedtime. My little boy coaxed his dad into play, TV, even chores. This last one amused me, as a former servant to Loki and his family. Njord didn’t have many chores, just simple things like putting away his toys before dinner and setting the table and clearing it. Still, seeing the Asgardian prince ordered around by a child was slightly ironic.  
Normally, our routine would be a bath after supper. I let it stretch out a bit. I had to bite the bullet to enforce the rule, though, since it was a school night. “Njord, go lay out your clothes for tomorrow and get your jammies while I draw the bathwater.”  
“No, Mamma! Just a little longer!”  
“You had a little longer. It’s time for a bath.”  
“But Mamma…” he whined.  
“Njord, if you whine, what will happen?”  
“I won’t get a bedtime story. But Mamma…” he tried again, more even-toned.  
“Now.”  
“Yes, Mamma.”  
“Thank you.”  
Loki followed me into the bathroom while I ran water and pulled a towel from the cupboard. “All the parenting books I’ve read mention not to undermine your partner or coparent, so I didn’t say anything. I could have helped, you know.”  
“I know. But you need to see a little of what he’s like when he isn’t being a perfect angel. A small glimpse to get you started.” I grinned and winked as the child shuffled in.  
“Is My Loki giving me my bath?” he squeaked.  
“No, I am. After, you can go out to say goodnight. The sooner you bathe, the sooner you’re out.” Njord tossed his clothes swiftly in the hamper to hop in the tub as his father exited. He allowed me to do the washing to make it go faster. Usually, the boy loved to play in the tub, only that night, he was out in record time.  
Freshly washed, jammie-clad, curls drying, Njord scampered back to the living room to crawl into Loki’s lap. They prattled but our boy was fighting yawns. His dad noticed. “Njord, may I read your bedtime story tonight?”  
“Oh, yes! My room is over here!” I followed them. The child was showing his father the pictures he kept by his bed. One was the old photo Bruce had gifted to me. The other, a newer image, was one I’d pulled from my phone to print. It was Njord and Loki hugging. “Mamma, you don’t have to stay.” Loki had never been alone with his son before. I walked out of the room, nonetheless I didn’t shut the door all the way. I sat next to the jamb, listening intently. Njord chose his favorite book. The cadence and pitch of the prince’s voice changed as he read, making each character sound unique. The man was nothing, if not dramatic! The story came to an end. “I like having you here,” mumbled the sleepy child.  
“I like being here,” replied his father.  
“Mamma says you can be my Pappa, even if you don’t live with us. Sigurd’s pappa is Asgardian but doesn’t live with his mamma. He still gets to see his pappa a lot, though.”  
“I want to see you a lot. It’s somewhat more complicated for us until Dr. Strange decides I’m healthy enough to leave the cabin for good.”  
“I hope that’s soon. I want you to be my pappa, My Loki.  
“I want to be your pappa, Njord.”  
“Mamma hugs and kisses me goodnight.”  
I peeked in. Loki squeezed his little boy tightly and kissed him. “I love you, Njord.”  
“I love you, too, Pappa,” our son told him, giving a butterfly kiss back. “Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight, Son.”  
Loki exited, tears sparkling in his eyes. “You heard?” I nodded; my throat too choked with my own tears to speak. My love embraced me, his tears falling into my hair. “Thank you for making today happen, Sjofn. You and Njord mean the world to me.”  
I yearned to take him to my bedroom, make love, and fall asleep, our bodies entwined. I still longed to wake in his arms. I wanted another day, and another, and another. The doctor’s presence reminded me we still had far to go in the process of becoming the kind of family I envisioned. I poured all my desires into my kiss. Our energy sizzled. He understood.  
I requested a meeting with the Sorcerer Supreme. We needed to find a way to allow Loki short bursts of unsupervised breaks with his son, without placing the child in danger if Loki was playing us. The Master argued against the petition, on the other hand, admitted he could set it up, without putting Njord in a forcefield. The caveat was that I couldn’t inform either the prince or our son.  
My little boy and I reached at the cabin by two-thirty on Tuesday. Following a walk and some games, it was teatime. As we finished up, I casually suggested, “Njord, why don’t you help your pappa clean up while Dr. Strange and I wait outside?” Loki’s eyes rounded in surprise. I rose and strode to the door.  
The doctor and I took seats on the porch. He pulled out a small electronic contraption. We could hear my boy nattering on, while his dad asked about school. “You bugged the house?”  
“It seemed the easiest solution.”  
He was correct. I just hoped Loki wouldn’t find the devices. He’d be livid. On the other hand, we’d glean just as much from the fallout. I was careful on Fridays to stay outdoors as much as possible. I didn’t want the sorcerer eavesdropping on me. In the succeeding weeks, Loki and Njord spent longer periods inside after tea. They were still getting to know each other, so their conversations mainly focused on themselves. The boy posed lots of questions about life in Asgard. The man queried about the child’s friendships. Njord loved the chats with his father by himself. He often repeated the conversations to me I’d overheard. He became eager to get the clean-up done quickly so he could sit on his father’s lap. One day, he was especially wound up. He’d been up late the night before thanks to a look in from Bruce, and he hadn’t wanted to sleep. The child was becoming more hyper as he became more tired, in an effort to stay awake. Tea was too relaxing, leading to an erratic burst of energy. I retired to the veranda so Loki and his son could clear away the tea things. The boy kept running and slamming cups and plates on the counter. Twice, the man instructed the child to be careful with the dishes. Njord grabbed the teapot. It had more tea still inside than expected, fell from his hands, and crashed to the floor.  
“Didn’t I tell you to be careful?” Loki yelled. I was watching through the window. The prince closed his eyes, gulping in deep breaths. The little boy had his back to me, but I knew I’d see him biting his lip to keep it from quivering. His back was stiff and straight, frozen. Small sniffs could be heard on the speaker. Loki opened his eyes. He reached into a drawer to bring out a towel. His voice was measured when he spoke. “You can use this to mop up the tea while I gather the broken pieces.” Suiting actions to words, he disappeared behind the table. So did the child. Sniffles continued a moment or two more until Loki offered,” Come, let’s get a tissue for your nose, then finish.”  
Njord’s tiny voice came across, “I’m sorry, Pappa.”  
“I know. We’ll get it cleaned up together. Uncle Bruce came to see you yesterday? Were you too excited to sleep?”  
“Yes. He and Mamma talked after I was sent to bed. I listened for a long time and only fell asleep after Mamma went to bed.”  
They finished cleaning. My prince pulled his child into the recliner with him. “When I was a child, Thor and I sometimes had to make appearances at feasts or meetings Odin had with important people. We’d be up past our bedtimes, and even when we weren’t, I couldn’t settle down afterward. The lights were too bright, the smells too strong, everyone talked too loudly. Thor would fall right to sleep, while my body and mind just couldn’t calm down. The next day would always be a bad one. I was tired, but I didn’t like anyone to know. I’d get into trouble for making more mischief than normal. Sleep is important to think clearly, too. If you have trouble sleeping, even just once in a while, tell your mother. She can make a calming tea or something that will help you.”  
“Did Odin shout at you?”  
“Yes, sometimes. Even when he didn’t, I often felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I’m sorry I shouted at you, Njord. I can’t promise never to do that. When you see me close my eyes, that means I am trying to calm my emotions to think. I’m learning that from my therapist, but it’s new for me. I want to be a good pappa, so I’m trying, very hard, but I won’t be perfect.”  
“Do you still love me?”  
“Oh, yes, my son. Immensely.”  
“Okay. When Mamma gets really angry, so she shouts, too. But she always loves me. Sometimes, I shout, too. But I always love her.”  
“Do you still love me?” Loki returned.  
“Yes, Pappa. I’ll love you, even if you shout a lot.”  
“I’m glad. I shall still endeavor not to do so.” Loki smiled and his son beamed back.  
I lowered myself back into my chair. My pulse slowed. Njord entreated more stories of Loki as a boy. I’d ceased to hear. I was turning into a watering pot these days. My dream felt so close.  
The Master of Mystic Arts listened in for a couple of months. In that interval, there was no hint of villainy in my love. Loki and Njord took walks alone and spent a couple of visits without me. Finally, the doctor informed me he’d removed the bugs and cameras (of which I’d not been aware) and wouldn’t be joining us, unless I called for him. All three of us were so much more relaxed. We got comfortable with one another, teasing good-naturedly, letting the messier and quirkier sides of our personalities show through, generally letting down our guards. Loki intimated that he’d connected somewhat with a man in his group sessions. The poor guy had some gaps in his memory, while Loki had two sets of memories. However, this man had killed many people while mind controlled. He’d had to go into cryostasis to have the programming removed. Loki’s situation was contrasting- he’d wanted to kill, especially Laufey, and even under the influence of the Mind Stone, he’d known what he was doing. Still, each felt guilt for the lives needlessly taken. This man was proving to be a unique combination of challenger to Loki’s errant thoughts and excuses, yet encourager of the desire for change. It sounded like Loki had made a friend.  
December closed in. Norwegians prepared to celebrate Christmas soon. New Asgardians still celebrated Yule. I approached the Sorcerer Supreme with a proposal to allow Loki a shopping trip then a stay in New Asgard for the full holiday. I was certain I couldn’t get all I was asking for just for Njord’s birthday. Contrarily, with that and Yule days apart, maybe I could finagle more out of the doctor. He was cautious, though Loki seemed to have turned over a new leaf. He grudgingly agreed to let me take the Asgardian prince shopping for gifts. We wrangled some more over holiday plans, until I offered to invite Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek to celebrate with us. The doctor conceded, on the condition that these “reinforcements” were there. He still wouldn’t budge on allowing Loki to stay until the next morning. I turned my most earnest, pleading expression on him. “Please, Njord won’t go to sleep knowing his father is leaving. He won’t have his dad on his actual birthday, so this will be everything for him. He’ll be an emotional wreck. You know he’s tenderhearted. Let him fall asleep, secure in the knowledge that he won’t have to say goodbye until after breakfast.” Dr. Strange was annoyed but gave in.  
Loki didn’t enjoy commercial shops. He was used to the goods of Asgard that were well-made and designed to last. I bought some gifts. The prince was uninspired. He only needed to purchase a few things for those at the Yule celebration, tokens really. He was adamant that Njord should have something meaningful that was unique. There was a small crafts district where some of the old Asgardian artisans had found a niche business. We browsed through the shops there. Kjersti’s husband was a leather worker who sold clothing, shoes, handbags, and the like. I introduced Loki, who complimented the Asgardian man on his son’s polite behavior when Loki had met Finn at the school. The prince inquired if the clothier could make leather armor, such as children of nobles wore in training. Knud had done so in Asgard and asked for specifications. Loki commissioned a suit of black and green for Njord. Knud drew out a few designs, according the prince’s suggestions. A layout was agreed upon. Since Knud was familiar with our son, he believed he could figure measurements on his own. Loki had been supplied with money when he jumped the timelines and paid for half right away, the other half would be disbursed through me when the armor was delivered. My sweetheart found the items he wished to purchase for our Yule guests and a pocketknife for Njord for Yule, then returned to his chalet. He was excited for the holiday and the opportunity to bestow a present that he hoped would lead to a chance to bond with his boy. I’d had to nix the idea of real daggers, but I felt the suit of leather armor was a perfect choice. I was giddy myself with anticipation.  
Njord was somewhat disappointed to miss his birthday with his pappa but having him for Yule and staying overnight made up for that. Each guest for Yule was bringing a dish to share. I was still responsible for the majority of the meal. Valkyrie could be relied upon to bring something traditional, and Loki as well. All bets were off with Korg and Mike. It was fine, though. If they brought pizza, which was highly likely, it would still be eaten in the same spirit. I prepared as much ahead as I could manage. We’d gather at midday then spend the rest of the day together. Loki would arrive in the early morning, so that he could keep Njord occupied as I cooked. I didn’t mention this to my son. He was already hyper. I gave him some chamomile tea and put on soft classical music to soothe him before bed.  
Njord and I were awake and about in the pre-dawn hours of December 24, the day Norwegians made most merry, so the day we chose for our Yule Day. I was already in the kitchen, while my child ran about the cottage in his underwear. I admonished him to dress but was too busy to enforce the command. At seven-thirty, my doorbell rang. I called Njord to get the door. He swung it open, sans outer apparel, to find his father on the stoop. “Pappa, I thought you were coming with everyone else!” he squealed.  
“I came early to help. May I come in?”  
“Oops,” giggled the boy. He stepped back then danced to where I stood. “Mamma, Pappa’s here!” he exclaimed volubly, as if I weren’t right in front of him.  
“Yes, I see, my sweet. Why don’t you go get dressed now?”  
Njord looked down at his body in surprise. “Oh! Okay!”  
“I swear I have lectured him to put on his clothes at least five times in the last hour, yet he is astonished to find himself in just undies. Were you like that?” I was exasperated.  
Loki laughed. “I do recall a few times Thor and I both were chased by nannies carrying various items of clothing when we were in high spirits.” He stepped over to whisper in my ear. “Our mother had to break us of the habit by our teens. She warned us we’d scare the maids.”  
I colored up as the mental image formed of the prince as a teenager when I came to the palace, then my imagination followed the scenario he’d laid out. I would’ve been mortified. My love was thoroughly enjoying the play of expressions across my face, correctly interpreting the wayward turn of my thoughts. “You are incorrigible!”  
“So, I’ve been told.” With a wicked grin, he strode toward Njord’s bedroom.  
The clock struck eleven. Everything was either prepared or warming. I gathered my dress clothes and glided off to shower. I vacated the bathroom to a glorious new smell permeating the house. Loki and Njord were in the kitchen, pulling a pie from the oven. The aroma was divine, except there’d been food warming in the oven. “Where is…?”  
“In the box on the counter, where it is still being kept warm magically. I would not ruin your hard work! I did promise to contribute to the meal, however,” replied my love.  
“Pappa let me help like I did over the summer. Can we have dessert first?” begged the child.  
“No, you have to eat something nutritious, first. You know that. Let’s get the table set. Everyone will be here soon.” We all grabbed dishes and utensils. We’d just put down the last place setting when a boom came on the door. “Korg’s here!” We all chuckled.  
I opened the entry and our friends filed in. I was shutting the door as I turned back, but it pushed back. Thor was silhouetted in the frame. “Oh my gosh! Thor! It’s wonderful to see you!” He lifted me off my feet in a bear hug. Njord raced over.  
“I’m glad to be home with you and my favorite…” the God of Thunder trailed off.  
“Pappa, your brother is here! Now our whole family is together!” My baby was beside himself with glee.  
Thor was stunned. Joy and ire were warring in his countenance. Loki stepped forward. “Yes, I died. The Avenger’s Time Heist created new timelines. I came from one of those and was forced here by an organization called the Time Variance Agency.” My prince had never shared that piece of information before. “Dr. Strange closed the adjoined timelines, leaving me here, and them in the other timeline. I don’t know if they still exist in any form. I absorbed the thoughts and feelings of the deceased Loki and kept my own. It sounds crazy. Come, sit down to dinner and I will attempt to properly explain.”  
Thor remained in his spot for a few beats, then hauled his brother into a tight embrace. Loki reciprocated, a first. As they broke free, my love gave me a half-smile, acknowledging my spot-on prognostication of Thor’s reaction to finding Loki alive. I lined up the food on the bar between the kitchen and dining area so everyone could serve him or herself. True to form, Korg and Miek had brought pizza. We also feasted on pork ribs, turkey, potatoes, and red cabbage I’d prepared. Valkyrie brought a traditional Asgardian dish she’d managed to adapt with Midgardian ingredients. Thor had stopped in the city to purchase Glogg, which was currently warming. He even brought a non-alcoholic version for Njord.  
Loki gave his account, beginning with how he’d escaped with the Tesseract after his Midgardian invasion. He skipped over the intimate details of our relationship, of course, but my involvement put me in the center of the story almost as much as he. Thankfully, he left out our armed debate. He draped his arm around his son, citing the child as his motivation toward change. His heart was on his sleeve as he dropped a peck on the boy’s curls. I’d hoped for more revelations like the Time Variance Agency, but he skated over those, too, declaring them no longer of importance. At the conclusion of his tale, Loki told Thor, “I’ve been waiting to see you, again, Brother. I’ve missed you and I hope you and I can truly be family.”  
“We’ve always been family. I don’t remember life before you. We will stay family until we both die- and stay dead.” Most of us shifted a little uncomfortably, however, Loki grinned.  
We each had a slice of my love’s Asgardian pie, which tasted exactly as it smelled, then repaired to the living room. Loki requested that before opening the Yule offerings, we indulge him for a moment to permit Njord to open a birthday present. The prince retrieved a rectangular box in green paper, which he presented to our son. The boy tore open the wrappings and box to reveal the leather armor. His father recounted his own childhood days of training, that he’d had a similar set. Thor added some reminisces of his own, expressing admiration for the workmanship and praising his brother for choosing such a perfect gift. Valkyrie agreed, happy to see traces of Asgardian culture observed. Njord, of course, yearned to don the outfit right away. His dad convinced him to wait until the gift exchanges had been completed. The child handed out all the packages. Exclamations of delight sounded through the house. Njord received typical Midgardian toys and books from most of us. His pappa had chosen the pocketknife for Yule, again, an Asgardian artisan’s creation. “Pappa, what’s that?” our son inquired, pointing to some engraving leafed in gold on the handle.  
“Those are your initials. N for Njord, S for Selby, L for Lokison.” He lifted the boy onto his lap. “This is for practical use and I will teach you how each blade and tool works. This is not a toy. If you don’t use it properly, the knife will be taken from you until you have matured. Do you understand?”  
“Yes, Pappa. When will you teach me?”  
“Let’s start now.” Man and boy bent their heads together to explore the functions of the pocketknife. I hadn’t opened any of my gifts; now I did so, thanking my friends for their thoughtfulness. I left the gift from my love until I had his attention.  
Thor was engrossed watching Loki and Njord. He, like I, had fervently wished to see his brother learn to love and be loved. To witness the results of the transformation had him mesmerized. The expression on his face when Loki had set consequences for Njord’s improper use of the knife had been almost comical, given that Loki had admittedly stabbed Thor with his own knife many times when they were children. The Asgardian princes had set a pattern, not only of their own behavior, but relationally, that had persisted for thousands of years. It wouldn’t change overnight. It was inevitable that they would struggle to find new ground. I hoped they could find their way quickly, not fall back in the same mold once the novelty of being together again had worn off. Time would tell.  
Once Njord had seen the various functions of the knife, he implored again to don his armor. Again, his father put him off, so that Loki could open his own presents. He thanked each giver as the package was unwrapped. Finally, he came to mine. It was a tall box. He shot me a perplexed look. He ripped off the paper around the top, lifting the flaps of the cardboard. He reached down to pull out an exact replica of the helmet he’d worn at the Fall of Asgard. “I remember watching you fight Hela’s Berserkers from The Statesman, even as you pulled off the helmet to use the horns to stab your opponents and then flourish it,” I divulged to my love. “You, along with everyone here today, saved us ordinary Asgardians from annihilation. My thanks to all of you. Loki, I wanted to commemorate your unselfish choice to come back home when you could have stayed on Sakaar, to fight for our people. You are a true Asgardian Warrior.”  
  
My warrior placed the helmet on his head, leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. “You are no ordinary Asgardian, my darling.”  
Njord stroked the metal horns. “Why do you like stabbing?” he queried. Valkyrie choked on her drink, while Thor snorted.  
“It is an effective technique for dispatching enemies. We have already discussed that I shouldn’t have used it on everyone. Thor, I apologize for stabbing you so much through the years. The method may be good for enemies, but it was a poor way of working out my feelings.”  
Thor was nonplussed at receiving an apology from Loki. “No harm done, mostly. The harm seems to have come to you. I am so glad to see you growing as a person, to see you so obviously happy. If I’d known you were here, I’d have brought a gift.”  
“Same, Brother. There is no need. Having you here is the only gift I need.”  
“For me, too. My family is a gift beyond measure.” The God of Thunder lifted his glass of Glogg. “I’d like to propose a toast. To family- biological, adopted, chosen- may the alcohol run out long before the love.”  
“Hear, hear!” came the chorus.  
Loki glanced at his wrapped gift next to me. “Your turn, my dear.” I tore into the box to reveal a traditional Asgardian noblewoman’s dress in green. “Oh Loki, it’s exquisite. I used to dream of owning a dress like this. I’d lie in my cot,” the weeping began,” dreaming of you, of somehow impressing you in elegant gowns, of being an aristocrat, rather than a maid.”  
“How many times have I advised you, you are no longer a servant? You are lovelier, livelier, more intelligent, and infinitely kinder than any of the Ladies with whom I’d have been expected to make a match. Thor didn’t like them, either. He fell for a Midgardian.” Thor nodded. “I’ve become convinced that Mother knew it, too. We’ve both puzzled over why she risked Father’s displeasure to sneak you into the dungeon and pointedly tell me about you. This is it, Sjofn. Mother was matchmaking. As always, she’d thought through what she was doing, and she did it well.”  
Thor passed a tissue from the box on the end table beside him. “Loki is absolutely right that you are more noble than many a Lady with that title. In New Asgard, titled nobility matters much less, anyway. I wasn’t aware of this about Mother, but she rarely went against my father. If she did so, she had a purpose in mind. Perhaps she was going to have Father elevate you to nobility at some point, if she thought you were worthy. Wear the dress with all the pride and grace you possess, Sjofn.”  
My baby tugged on my hand. “May I please put on my armor now? You can put on your dress, and Pappa can wear his helmet. Please?”  
I tussled my son’s curls. “Yes, my sweet.” With a whoop, Njord raced to his room with his outfit. Loki followed, to help. I took my gown to my bedroom to change. The problem with aristocrats was that they needed us servants to dress them. I got the frock on yet couldn’t hook it. I stuck my head around the doorjamb.  
Thor noticed me. I thought he’d send Valkyrie, but he jumped up and knocked on Njord’s door. “Brother, I’ll get Njord into the armor. You go assist Sjofn.”  
My love joined me, stealing kisses and light caresses before fastening my dress. We all returned to the living room. Loki reaffixed his helmet. Korg suggested a picture. The sofa was moved back to make space. I set the timer on my phone camera, adjusting its position on the mantel to fit everyone into the shot. Thor proposed one of just him with Loki’s family. Valkyrie snapped it, along with another of the Asgardian brothers alone, then the brothers with Njord. I got a photo of Loki and Njord. My love snapped one of Njord and me.  
The rest of the furniture was moved aside to allow Thor and Loki to demonstrate rudimentary Asgardian warrior skills, which my boy copied. I videoed some of the proceedings. When the overgrown boys got caught up in their demonstrations, I had to call a halt. I wasn’t certain I’d have had a home left if I’d let them continue! We rearranged again to set up card tables and board games. We played until we were hungry once more. Leftovers were reheated and enjoyed. Conversation flowed after supper while Njord played.  
My most dreaded moment came. “Njord, my sweet, bath time.”  
“No.”  
“Yes. We’ll get it over with quickly.”  
“But Mamma,” came the wheedling tone, “I didn’t get dirty.”  
“You’ve been jumping around all day. I know we haven’t had much of a routine, but you’re going to have your bath.”  
The little boy scrunched up his face in a scowl. “I don’t want to.”  
“I understand that. I didn’t say you have to like it. Go gather your pajamas.”  
“No!” he shouted.  
I took a cleansing breath. “I’m going to count to three. If you don’t choose to go to your room, you will be taken there. One.” The child crossed his arms over his chest, sticking his bottom lip out mulishly. “Two.” He stomped his foot and growled. “Three.” I stood. The screaming began.  
Loki rose. “Let me.” He picked up the screeching boy, throwing Njord over his shoulder, and took him to the bedroom. I desperately wanted to go after them, but Loki would have to figure out how to discipline his son. I wouldn’t undermine his authority or embarrass him in front of friends. Screaming continued from behind the wall, interspersed with the deep cadence of the man’s voice. A boom echoed when an object struck the wall, then silence. A few beats later, the low voice sounded again, seemingly unruffled. In minutes, the little boy and the man marched toward the bathroom, sniffles punctuating Njord’s steps. Loki appeared unfazed.  
Thor shook his head in disbelief as running water could be heard. “If I hadn’t seen this with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it possible. Loki handled that just as our father used to when we threw tantrums.”  
I smiled. “Please don’t tell him that!” Thor grinned.  
Soon, Loki returned to the living room, carrying Njord. The child had his head buried in his father’s neck. They settled in the recliner. Njord would peek out every few minutes. Finally, he climbed down to go sit in Thor’s lap. Another fifteen minutes elapsed. My son descended to the floor to shuffle over to me. His face was streaked with tears. “What’s wrong, Sweet?”  
“I want to sit on Pappa’s lap and on Uncle Thor’s lap because they’re both going to leave tomorrow,” he murmured.  
“I think we can fix that.” I asked Korg, sitting to my left on the couch, “Would you mind switching places with Loki? You might find the larger chair more comfortable.”  
“Oh, sure,” the Kronan answered affably.  
Loki came to plop himself on the middle cushion. “Would you move a little closer to Thor?” I persuaded. Both men were confused but did as bid. “Now, Njord, get on Pappa’s leg closest to Uncle Thor. Twist your body around so you can swing your legs across your uncle’s leg.” Loki snaked his arm around his son’s middle, while Thor propped his hand on his nephew’s leg. The boy lay his head on his dad’s shoulder. All three looked content. I leaned over to whisper in my prince’s ear, “Rub his back.” He did. Our child was asleep within ten minutes. One last precious photograph.  
While my love tucked our son in bed, I prepared tea, coffee, and cocoa. I beckoned Loki when he exited the boy’s bedroom. Softly, I inquired, “Would you like for me to invite Thor for breakfast tomorrow?”  
He nodded and kissed my cheek. “Thank you.”  
“Of course.” We carried the tea tray out. The evening wound down and our friends were donning their coats. Thor carried the tray back to the kitchen with me. “Loki has to go back with Dr. Strange tomorrow, mid-morning. Will you join us for a family breakfast at eight?”  
“I don’t want to intrude on your goodbyes.”  
“He wants you to come. I made certain before I extended the invitation.”  
Thor’s blue eyes lit up like sapphires. “Then I will be here promptly!”  
I grinned. “Good! I look forward to our family meal. I’m so happy you showed up just when Loki was here to visit. I’m glad to see you myself, but I’ve been waiting so long to see you brothers reunite. My heart is full to bursting right now.”  
Loki’s phone rang. “Hello?...Oh, hi Bucky…Yes, I have a moment…” He went to my bedroom.  
“Bucky? Barnes? As in, the Winter Soldier?”  
“Yes. Do you know him? I was under the impression you’d never encountered him until the Battle of Wakanda, and even then, just fought on the same side but never spoke.”  
“Correct. I again saw him at Stark’s funeral. I only know what I’ve heard from the other Avengers. How does Loki know him?”  
“They met through Bruce Banner. He’s met many of those who were allies during the Infinity War. He and Bucky seem to have forged a friendship and Bucky has been like a mentor to him through rehabilitation. He’s been very good for Loki. To my knowledge, Loki never had a friend of his own. Am I wrong?”  
Thor was bemused. “No, you aren’t. That never occurred to me. He was always there with me and my friends and I assumed that’s what he wanted. Now that I think on it, though, he was bullied by other kids. Maybe he stayed close on the grounds that he knew I’d protect him. And then he had no one else…”  
“Hm. I think so. Anyway, I’m glad he has someone who has chosen to invest in him and see the potential. Someone, moreover, to whom he can relate.” Thor agreed.  
The bedroom door opened. Loki stepped out, looking pensive and gratified. “I have a job offer.” All eyes in the place focused on him. “Dr. Strange hosted those left of the New Avengers and others that fought in the Infinity War alongside them or your Avengers,” he began, looking to Thor. “Pepper Potts was there. She wished to rebuild the Training Facility to hold and house the New Avengers and any who may join the team. The scale would be smaller, funded by a trust, managed jointly by her and Stark’s bodyguard, Hogan. The meeting was mostly about what was necessary for the rebuild, the goals of the new group, and who/how they’d be managed. I was dragged to what I considered a very boring council by the Sorcerer. I figured I was there to give a villain’s perspective of what was needed to fight effectively. Those were most of the questions I was asked. Bucky was there. He just called to inform me it had partially been an interview, and he was extending a job offer on behalf of these New New Avengers to join them. More details to come if I am interested.”  
I wasn’t sure what this would mean for us or our family. “Are you interested?”  
“Enough to get the details. I’ll learn more once I’m back in Sweden.”  
“Congratulations, Brother! You’ll make a fine defender of Midgard! The God of Thunder boomed. “Did you tell them about Get Help?”  
“Shhh! You’ll wake my son!” Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m not telling anyone about Get Help. I hate it. It’s humiliating. And believe me, I see the irony. Hopefully, I can make some amends.”  
“I’m proud to call you my brother, Loki.” Thor grabbed his brother into a crushing hug. Loki sent me a pained look.  
Our guests departed, Loki and I tidied up, and cuddled up on the couch. He ran his hands over my arms and across my back. I lifted my face to meet his lips. He tasted delicious. His kiss grew insistent and my mouth opened. I had been exhausted moments before, now I was alert and aroused. I wanted him so badly. I desired his body in the most intimate connection but also his heart. A thought hammered its way into my consciousness. I wanted the all the attachment and ties this day had represented to me. I yearned for marriage, not playing at domesticity. I drew back, shaken.  
Loki’s teal orbs glowed with ardor in the lamplight. “Are you alright? Is something wrong?”  
“I…L…I’m afraid. Afraid this won’t last. That…,” I searched for the right words, “that my expectations are too high, that we won’t make it. I’m probably just overtired, thinking too much. I’m sorry. I need to go to bed. I’m still not ready. I’ll get sheets and a blanket for the sofa.” I ducked my head and sped off to the linen closet. I was acutely aware of his disappointment. I felt immensely guilty for leaving him frustrated. I couldn’t keep up this idea of maybe we’d marry, maybe we’d be a family. I wanted it all. I couldn’t tell him. Too much was uncertain. Would he join the Avengers? Would we have to leave Norway? Would Dr. Strange release him? He had so much to think about and sort through, I couldn’t shove my longings into the mix. I didn’t want to burden him, only those yearnings were becoming increasingly insistent. I decided to make an appointment with my therapist. I brought the linens to my poor prince. “I’m so sorry. I love you, Loki. I love you so much.” I practically ran to my room.  
I awoke cold and lonely. Sleep had not eased my aching heart. I left the warmth of my bed for the bathroom. As I passed Njord’s bedroom, I heard voices inside. My son had gone to his father for attention upon waking. He’d always come to crawl into bed with me on days like this. I was thrilled that our boy had his father, that they were bonding, that Loki truly loved his child. Still, I almost felt resentful that it was so easy for Njord to accept this limbo, to enjoy the relationship without the worries. I whimpered in the solitariness of the sterile white tile of my bathroom. I washed my hands and headed back to my nest of bedcovers, shivering. I was at the entry to my room when I heard Njord’s little voice. “Mamma, may I come get in bed with you?”  
“Aren’t you with your dad?” I kept my back to him so he wouldn’t see that I’d been weeping.  
“Yes. I snuggled with Pappa, but I want to snuggle with you, too.”  
I pivoted. Loki was standing behind our son in his boxers, studying me warily. “Of course, you may, Sweet. Do you want to join us?” I invited my love.  
“Are you sure?’ he questioned.  
“Yes. We don’t have much time before we’ll need to get ready for Thor.”  
“Uncle Thor is coming back?”  
“Yes, he’s coming for breakfast,” I informed the child.  
“Cool!”  
I nestled back under my bedcovers for warmth, while my guys lay with the covers only pulled to the waist.  
“Mamma, aren’t you hot?”  
“No, I’m cold.”  
“It isn’t cold. I asked Pappa. He said he gets hot at night in jammies or under covers, so he wears his underwear. I get hot, too. Do I have to wear jammies? Pappa told me to ask you.”  
I assumed their Jotun DNA made them feel overly warm. “Only if you have friends over or sleep at a friend’s house. What you choose to wear or not wear at home is up to you.”  
“Yay!” the child squeaked. He tore off his shirt and shorts, tossing them to the end of the bed, lying in his undies. His father and I chuckled. He lay atop the quilt for a few minutes, then stuck his feet under, pulling it back to his waist. He settled down, closing his eyes. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” His wistful tone made me want to snivel again.  
“Me too,” his pappa confessed, placing a kiss on his curls.  
“Me three.” All my longings and desires came to the fore. The energy bond crackled.  
“Sjofn,” Loki breathed hoarsely, “will you marry me?”  
He wanted it, too. My heart soared. I broke into a slow smile that widened and beamed. “Oh, yes, my love.”  
Our son whooped and flipped onto his stomach. “Does that mean Pappa will live with us?” he eagerly inquired.  
“Or we’ll go live with him. He might have a job somewhere other than Norway.”  
“I’ll have to leave my barneskole and friends to be with Pappa?”  
His dad conveyed soothingly, “We don’t know yet. There are a lot of details to work out before we can marry or live together. And don’t forget that I know magic. If there is a way to continue your schooling and maintain your playdates, I promise we will find it.” Mollified, the boy snuggled back down for the next half hour.  
We finally began getting ready to quarter to eight. Thor was due soon, so I threw on a pair of fleece leggings and a cozy sweater quickly, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and took ingredients from my fridge to start breakfast. Njord stationed himself at the front window to watch for his uncle. When the God of Thunder arrived, the child threw open the entry, screeching, “Uncle Thor, Uncle Thor, guess what, guess what?”  
“I can’t guess what you might have this enthusiastic when morning has just broken. What do you have to tell me?” the blond man queried.  
“Mamma and Pappa are getting married!”  
“What?!” Thor’s face split in a grin. “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you both- and you, too, Nephew!” He advanced on his brother, obviously intent on a hug. Loki snatched a stack of plates on the counter to carry to the table. Instead, Thor swung Njord in the air.  
“Thank you. We are thrilled, as you can see,” slewing his eyes toward our son. “We don’t know when, yet. Timing will depend on the job and the wizard. I am eager, though. I want to be with my wife and son for more than two days.”  
We seated ourselves and tucked into a hearty breakfast. We speculated on what the job offer could entail, whether we’d need to move to New York, and how we could keep Njord in Norwegian schools. Loki confessed that could teleport and knew the theory behind how to take someone with him but had never tried taking another person along. Thor suggested practicing with animals. Sound theory, though like everything else, would depend on Dr. Strange permitting the practice.  
Breakfast was cleared and I sent Njord to play in his room to give Loki and Thor some privacy. I moved to join my son. I was invited to stay. Loki cleared his throat nervously. “Thor, I must thank you for taking care of my family when I was not here to do so. Sjofn shared with me all you did to get her good care and an education through the Avengers, who despised me for my crimes. Yet, by your goodwill, they fed, housed, and sent her for job training. You clothed her, bought this house, and paid for furniture when she returned to New Asgard. I know you have Mother’s sense of devotion to family. I am grateful that you consider Sjofn, along with your nephew, family. But my bride-to-be supposes, and I concur, that you did all this for me, as well. Even when I had died. That same devotion meant you never gave up on me, sometimes when you tried. I am not only proud to call you Brother, but I also want you to hear me say out loud, ‘I love you, Thor’.”  
Thor’s eyes were awash. “I never wanted to be better than you. I longed for the day you’d realize that, yet several times despaired that it would come. Each time I thought you’d died it was a massive blow to my gut. On The Statesman, though, I was truly crushed. We’d made some headway, then you died to stop Thanos from killing me. I always knew my real brother was still in there. I felt enormous guilt that I couldn’t save you or anyone else. I don’t care what version you are; you are my brother. I love you.” The men embraced with a ferocity that almost surprised me.  
I rose to spring Njord from his room. He skipped around the couch to see the brothers still holding onto one another. My laptop in the corner rang with the request for a video call from Kjersti. “Hi! Did you all have a fun Yule celebration?”  
“We did. Finn has something he is bursting at the seams to share with Njord. He just couldn’t wait. Stay in the picture, though,” my friend giggled. I sat in my desk chair, propping my son on my knee. Finn’s pale face appeared with Kjersti behind. “Njord! Guess what? I’m going to have a little sister in June! I’m going to be a big brother!”  
“Wow! What are you going to do with a little sister?” my boy wanted to know.  
“I don’t know, yet. Maybe I can teach her letters or something. I can push her stroller to the shops. Mamma says I can make faces at her, so she’ll laugh,” the other child stated.  
“That’s cool! I have to tell you something, too. My Mamma and Pappa are getting married! Pappa’s going to live with us but maybe not in Norway.” Njord hopped on the floor in excitement.  
“You’re leaving?” Finn’s face fell.  
“Whoa, my sweet, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Finn, we are doing what we can to keep Njord in school here. His pappa may be working somewhere else. We’ll see. I’m so happy for your expanding family! I was worried that you couldn’t seem to shake your illness, Kjersti. Now we know why. Are you feeling better?”  
“It gets better every day. I can get out for short periods now. I despaired of leaving my house for a while there. Knud has been an immense help around the house, cooking, and keeping Finn occupied. It’s been much worse than I had with Finn. I miss you! We obviously need to catch up. Did your fiancée propose yesterday?”  
“This morning! Loki came and stayed overnight. And when our friends came for dinner yesterday, Thor was with them! He’s been here again since breakfast. We’re having a small family reunion. I had no idea this Yule would be so full of surprises!” The boys were practicing making faces for the baby while Kjersti and I chatted.  
“I’m happy for you, too. Truly, I am. We won’t keep you from your family. We’ll talk later.”  
“How about tomorrow? I’ll give Knud a break. I’ll do some cleaning or laundry or whatever you need, then make us all supper. What can you eat?”  
“Thank you, that would be lovely! Anything simple is good. Sodd or Lapskaus stew.”  
“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow. Njord, tell Finn goodbye.”  
“Bye, Finn! I’ll show you my Yule presents tomorrow, okay?”  
“Okay. Me too. Bye, Njord!”  
I hadn’t even risen from my chair when Njord screeched out, “Pappa, when you and Mamma get married, will I get a little brother or sister?” I waited with bated breath for the answer.  
“I don’t know, Son. Your mother and I will have to talk about it.” I left my desk to resume my place by the sofa. “Do you want a brother or sister?”  
Now he’d done it. Anything might come spilling out of our child’s mouth. “Oh, yes! I want a brother and we can be like you and Uncle Thor. But I won’t stab him.” Loki’s jaw dropped. I schooled my expression to polite interest. Thor had an all-out coughing fit. I traipsed to the kitchen for a glass of water.  
Loki gathered himself and responded, “You’ll be a good brother, Njord.” As the boy clambered up to sit next to him, his father turned slightly toward his own sibling, whom he’d just professed to love, and protested, sotto voce, “You might still want to stab your brother occasionally.” Thor grabbed his water glass as he choked again.  
We enjoyed another lazy hour together, with Njord chattering away and flitting from Loki’s lap, to Thor’s, back and forth, repeatedly. A fiery ring appeared in my living room, through which stepped Dr. Strange. “Hello, Wizard,” Thor greeted him.  
“Thor. I wasn’t aware you were back.”  
“Please, sit for a moment,” I invited the Sorcerer Supreme. He lowered himself into a lounge chair.  
“We were cruising close to Earth and Quill mentioned it was Christmastime, which coincides with our Yule holiday. The Guardians dropped me off to surprise Sjofn and my nephew, but I got quite the shock, too.”  
“I’m certain you did. However, I have closed all the extra timelines, so there should be no more shocks of that nature. Will you be here for a prolonged stay?”  
“No, I leave later today.”  
“I hope you’ve had a pleasurable stay.”  
“Quite. I’ll have to drop in more often.”  
Njord danced over to the doctor. “Dr. Strange, guess what?”  
“I don’t know. What, Njord?”  
“My mamma and pappa are going to get married and Pappa might get a job!”  
“I do know about the job, but marriage, hum? Congratulations and best wishes.” The man gave me a penetrating stare.  
I stared back. “Thank you.”  
“Have you thought about a date?”  
“No,” Loki spoke up. “We need to settle other details first.” He managed to infuse all the frost of his Frost Giant DNA into his tone. Dr. Strange was unaffected.  
“Actually, we may need to discuss some things with you. Can you meet with us on Friday?” I proposed.  
“Yes, that won’t be a problem. Thor, will you be coming back for the wedding?”  
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Why do you ask?”  
“You might want to make a plan on how to relay the date.”  
“They’ll tell me.”  
Strange just nodded. “I’m truly sorry to break up the family gathering. I have to take you back now, Loki.”  
Njord put his hand on the sorcerer’s knee. “When are you going to stop taking my pappa away?” His little voice shook with lament.  
“Soon, I hope, Njord. I don’t like taking him from you. I hope you can be together after your Pappa has a job. Okay?”  
Our boy nodded then went to his father to cling to him for a minute. “I love you, Pappa. Please get a job soon so you don’t have to leave. You don’t have to give me Yule presents anymore, and I’ll be good all the time, if you’ll stay with me.” He buried his face in the hair lying on Loki’s shoulders.  
The man cupped the child’s head in his palm, brushing his lips against his son’s temple. “I’ll do everything I can so we can live together, and I can be here for you,” Loki promised in a ragged voice. “I love you, my son. And your mother, too.” I wrapped my arms around them both, then took my boy into my arms. My love kissed me tenderly, giving me a squeeze. The Asgardian princes hugged, too. Dr. Strange conjured a portal and they were gone.  
My baby was growing rapidly, and I couldn’t hold him any longer. Thor took the child, settling into the recliner while sniffles and whimpers punctuated the silence. Fifteen minutes or so passed when finally, Njord sat up. “Are you leaving, too, Uncle Thor?”  
“Later today. Not just yet.”  
“Will you play with me?”  
“What do you want to play?”  
Njord considered. “Will you show me more warrior moves?” Thor looked to me for approval. I nodded. He moved the sofa to work with the boy. They ‘trained’ until lunchtime. We ate a small meal then Thor had to depart. Njord snuffled a bit, still, after giving his uncle a tight hug, he let the God of Thunder go. My son and I spent a lazy afternoon watching TV. We were both in the doldrums. That night, Njord slept in my bed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Sjofn, Loki, and Njord finally be together? Loki starts his new job. Is he still Jotun? Njord learns some magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my story, Vision is "alive" and he and Scarlet Witch have twins. I have also given her powers from the comics that we've not seen (yet?) in the MCU. I've expanded a bit on the use of Asgardian magic and who is able to practice the craft. I threw in a quote from one of my favorite Disney animated films, too. I personally went on safari in Kenya. Wildebeests and I have a history. I was writing about Loki's side gig when I came across this article. https://www.cbr.com/thor-loki-marvel-god-of-myths/ It fit perfectly, so I incorporated the idea into my story. The marriage vows are partially taken from my cousin's wedding, with permission. She and her husband are the namesakes of Njord's American friends. There is a reference to Mythology Loki's children. I play around with the powers of Frost Giants, since we know so little about them.
> 
> PLEASE feel free to leave comments, feedback, and constructive criticism. I have an idea that might work as a sequel, but I'm not sure there is enough interest.

Loki had left us on Wednesday, but I insisted on having my regular visitation on Friday. Njord had been happy to see Finn, play, and have dinner together on Thursday, but he had another emotional incident at bedtime. I decided to take him with me, rather than call a babysitter. I instructed him to pack some toys and books to keep him busy so Loki and I could have a conference with the Sorcerer Supreme. The boy reappeared in the living room with his overnight duffel bag for sleepovers full to bursting. “I’m not sure you need to take that much, Sweet.”  
“I do, Mamma,” he assured me.  
“No, that’s too much. Let’s go through to figure out what you want most.”  
He protectively hugged the bag to his chest. “No, I can carry it by myself. I promise.”  
Now I was suspicious. “Njord, what do you have in the bag?”  
“Just stuff, Mamma.”  
“Njord, tell me what you’re hiding.”  
He wouldn’t look at me. “Nothing, Mamma.” The child shifted from foot to foot.  
“Njord, you can tell, or I’ll dump out the bag. If you can’t obey, you’ll need to go to bed early this week.”  
His lip began to quiver, and his eyes glistened. “It’s just some clothes, Mamma.”  
“Clothes?”  
“Yes. I love you but I want to stay with Pappa. I miss him. I don’t have school. Please?” my baby pleaded.  
“We’ll have to ask your father if it’s ok and we might need to clear it with Dr. Strange, too. Why were you trying to hide this?”  
“I was afraid you wouldn’t let me. I thought if I packed everything, you might say yes once we were there,” sniffled Njord.  
“I want you to spend time with Pappa. I want to spend time with him, too. I’m glad you love him. You still need to ask first. May I see if you have all that you’ll need?”  
“Okay.” I rifled through the bag. As I’d suspected, he’d packed a few pairs of pants and a couple of shirts, one pair of socks, and no underwear. I assumed he could stay until Tuesday, our usual gathering day. I had him bring me the rest of the items, then repacked for a better fit. It occurred to me that Loki wouldn’t have quite enough food stuff for a guest, so I packed a cooler with leftovers, eggs, tea, and milk.  
When Dr. Strange arrived, he was taken aback by our baggage. “Leftovers from Yule and toys to occupy Njord while we talk,” I informed him.  
No sooner had we stepped foot in Sweden, than the child the scrambled up the steps of the veranda to bang on the cabin door. His dad swung open the door, only to be practically bowled over. “I missed you, Pappa! Mamma said it would be okay if I came on her day, this one time. I love you!” All the boy’s words tumbled over one another in one long, run-on sentence.  
The prince managed to propel his son to the side so I could enter. I gave an apologetic smile. “He’s been inconsolable at night. I think when he said he wanted to stay in bed with us forever, perhaps he meant it literally.”  
“I’m delighted to see both of you. Come in.”  
Dr. Strange slipped inside, too, but took a set of stairs at the back of the room to the attic space. We trekked about the grounds of the old resort campus for close to two hours. We spent the rest of our hour before lunch cuddled on the lumpy sofa, all three of us. Our son, who hadn’t slept well for two nights, drowsed against his pappa. In low tones, so as not to wake the snoozing child, Loki advised me that the sorcerer had spelled out the terms of his release when they’d returned two days before. If Loki chose to become a New Avenger, he’d be expected to live at the rebuilt training facility which would have quarters for families. Ant Man had a daughter who would be staying occasionally. The Scarlet Witch and Vision had twins, sometimes. Other times, they disappeared. I was mystified by this, but as it wasn’t a factor in our discussion, I let it go. Until the campus was completed, apartments would be rented in a nearby complex. My love would still be under supervision, with Bucky as his mentor. Therapy sessions would be mandatory. “That wizard flat out refuses to countenance any teleportation of Njord to school,” he huffed. “There is also the issue of time difference. I don’t want Njord to lose his friends to be with me. He needs them.” The hostility was becoming palpable.  
“Take a deep breath. We’ll talk through it together. Did Strange give you a reason for putting the kibosh on teleportation?”  
“What is kibosh?”  
“Sorry. It’s Midgardian. Why is he opposed?”  
“He still doesn’t want me unsupervised. To make this work I have to be trusted to go back to New York alone.”  
“I see.” I thought for a moment. “How far are you willing to go to keep Njord in Norwegian school?”  
Loki turned wary. “What do you have in mind?”  
“Please, my love, hear me out. What if…the sorcerer put some sort of tracking device on you? Some way he could know where you were, whether in Norway or New York or anywhere else?”  
My fiancé’s nostrils flared for a moment then he blew out his breath. “Yes. For my son, I’d do it.” His tone was clipped.  
“Alright. That may open negotiations. Next issue. You mentioned that you aren’t sure you can teleport more than one person when you deliberated this with Thor.”  
“Correct. It can be done, but I’ve never had the need. I don’t want to even try with Njord until I am fully capable. I can extend my powers to you so you can transport yourself. The theory behind it isn’t that complicated.”  
“We will have to enlist the doctor in the effort to practice. I don’t see any way around that. I realize it chafes,” I acknowledged as Loki’s color heightened,” but I seriously doubt a tracker will suffice.”  
“And that’s if he’ll even give any consideration…”  
“Of course,” I interrupted. “Let’s just assume he will as we brainstorm reasonable solutions. Thor suggested experimenting with animals. While I don’t love the idea, I don’t have anything better. Start off with small insects, move up to reptiles, on to mammals, then increase in size until you are positive you’ve mastered the task. That’s the way Queen Frigga often structured her lessons.”  
“You’re right, Darling. As long as I can practice.”  
“Moving on. Time difference. I believe it is six hours.” I found a piece of paper and a pen. “Let’s chart the important times of the day and when they occur in both places. Njord must be awake by six-thirty, Norwegian time to get ready for school. That is twelve-thirty in the morning in New York. He would get home from school if he did not attend activity school by two-thirty. That is eight-thirty AM in New York. In the evening, I must have him bathing by eight o’clock to be ready for bed by eight-thirty. New York time is two o’clock in the afternoon. Let’s also factor in two days a week for activity school or playdates. Those days would have him home by four-thirty, or ten-thirty, in the morning. It seems from my chart that the best way to handle the schedule would be for Njord to bathe, sleep, go to school, then come around breakfast time in New York. We’d be able to spend four to six hours in New York each day with you, when you aren’t on missions.”  
“We won’t be sleeping together,” Loki pointed out petulantly.  
“Assuming you meant asleep in the same bed, no. At least during the school year. As far as sex goes, we can work that out. Once Njord gets used to being around you nearly every day, he won’t be so desperate for all your attention. We could find a babysitter to keep him while we have some grown-up alone time- including sex or not. We’ll still want and need to converse without him around. Obviously, our life won’t be conventional according to either typical Midgardians or Asgardians, but if it works for our family, so what? You’ve never been conventional at any rate. We may need to make some sacrifices for each other so that all of us get our most meaningful needs met. And if these work arounds aren’t enough to keep our son in Norwegian school, he’ll make new friends at a school in New York. He’ll need to make some new friends in New York, anyway, regardless of whether they are classmates, actually. Get used to compromise, my love. Our life together will be full of it.”  
“I am willing to compromise. Like my son, though, I wish we could start every day holding each other close.”  
A sleepy voice came from between us. “Pappa, I don’t want to go home without you. Can I spend the night here?”  
“We’ll ask the doctor later,” replied the prince. Our baby nodded and sat up. “I’m going to call Dr. Strange down so your mother and I can discuss some ideas with him. You may play quietly in here,” Loki instructed the child. “If you’d rather not listen to the adults, you may play in my bedroom through that door.”  
Njord took his bag to his father’s room. I invited the doctor down for our conference. I launched right into the exchange with my grievance. “I understand your reservations regarding Loki traveling between countries twice a day so that Njord can remain in his school. However, we have put our heads together and would like to offer some ideas to mitigate any issues. Will you hear us out?”  
“I will.”  
“Thank you.” Loki pitched the scheme of the tracking device, assuring the sorcerer of his willingness to comply with its usage, although he presented Bucky Barnes as the monitor, not the Sorcerer Supreme. He laid out my notes on the timetable for reference.  
Dr. Strange pored over the chart, considering the proposal. Finally, he raised his gaze. “This appears to be well thought out. If Barnes agrees, it is a workable solution.”  
I beamed at him and at Loki. “Thank you! This plan is based on Loki’s teleportation of Njord and him together. There will need to be some practice to assure that it can be done safely. If you and Mr. Barnes can spare an afternoon, we thought that Loki could practice with small animals, increasing in size, and assuming all goes well, finishing by transporting myself and Njord to New York and back.” This was the issue I was concerned would be the deal breaker.  
“I’ll contact Barnes after lunch.”  
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “I’ll heat up some leftovers!” I hummed as I prepared the meal and Loki called Njord to wash his hands.  
We gathered at the table and my single-minded child piped up, “Dr. Strange, may I stay here with Pappa this week? I don’t have school. Mamma can stay, too.”  
“Why thank you, Njord,” I said with a touch of asperity.  
The doctor cocked one eyebrow. “What do your parents have to say? You should ask them first.”  
“I did,” the boy replied. “They said it would be up to you.”  
“I suppose it will be alright,” he paused as Njord cheered, “but anything you need for the week you’ll need to pick up and bring back with you. I’ll be at the Sanctum Sanctorum and can’t make multiple trips after this evening.”  
“Then I’ll need to go back,” I responded. "I have a Monday deadline for work. But you can stay, Njord, if your father is okay with having you alone until Tuesday.” Loki gave his approval.  
Following luncheon, Dr. Strange disappeared back to the attic. Later, we consumed our evening meal, where the doctor informed us Bucky consented to our proposal. Loki could attempt the teleportation exercises on Tuesday. Then it was time for me to leave my boys. Loki pulled me into his bedroom for some privacy. “Sjofn, you might be the real goddess for whom you were named. You brought the wizard around so easily. You’ve loved me unconditionally. You are a nurturing mother. Sometimes I am cognizant how undeserving I am of you. I simultaneously want to push you away so that you can find someone who is worthy of you yet bind you so tightly to me that you can never escape. I don’t mean to pressure you, but it appears that I will be released from this place soon. I want to marry you as quickly as possible. Don’t wait for next week. I’ll call so we can start making plans. I need you, Darling.”  
“Silly man. I had five years completely unbound in which I could have found someone else. My heart is yours and always will be. I am just as eager as you to marry, my love. I planned to call each night to check in anyway, I’ll investigate the marriage laws in Norway on my computer. I love you, My Loki.” I was enveloped in my fiancé’s embrace, thoroughly kissed, and petted.  
Our son called through the door. “Mamma? Pappa? Dr. Strange says he must leave. Are you going to tell me goodbye, Mamma?”  
I opened the door and knelt down. “Of course, my sweet. I love you, Njord. Be a good boy for your Pappa. I’ll call each night to wish you goodnight because I’ll miss you. Do I get a hug?”  
My baby squeezed me tight and gave me a peck on the lips. “I love you, too, Mamma. I’ll miss you, too.”  
My cottage felt cold and empty. I’d been home alone when Njord had gone to sleepovers with Finn, but this felt different. I was stuck here. I yearned to be back at the cabin with my guys. I wasn’t ready to seek my lonely bed, so I fired up my laptop. I navigated through all the info I could find on marriage in my new country. Most seemed straightforward but for one glaring obstacle- Loki had no birth certificate. I resolved to ask Valkyrie and Dr. Strange if they had any ideas. I got comfortable in my recliner, staring off into nothing, as I fantasized about my wedding. I’d definitely wear my Asgardian gown. Perhaps a circlet of flowers. The only weddings I’d ever attended had been in my childhood village or for other palace servants. I’d no notion of what aristocratic or royal weddings were like or whether Loki would wish for one that was similar. In his time impersonating Odin, he’d relished court ritual. I suspected the pleasure stemmed more from the attention focused on him, rather than any adherence to tradition. I assumed he’d want a posh ceremony, not a plain civil wedding. In my mind’s eye, I saw us, Thor, a hazy figure of Bucky, whom I’d never seen or met; Kjersti, Agnetha (my friend from our palace days), Njord, and Valkyrie as officiant, since she was both Mayor and King. I experienced a pang of melancholy that Steve and Nat were gone, though I’m not sure how they’d view Loki or our marriage. Still, they’d been close friends and I would miss their presence. I spent Saturday in a flurry of activity. I completed my transcriptions and cleared out my closet, thoroughly scrubbed the bathroom, and cleaned Njord’s room. I had dinner at Kjersti’s again, bringing takeout from her favorite restaurant. Finn was disappointed that Njord was away, but he brightened up learning that his friend would stay in school in New Asgard and still have playdates. Kjersti had come around on the subject of Loki, especially when I shared that he would be a New Avenger. She marveled that an individual could be so altered. Knud made the suggestion that our wedding be a public event. He was of the opinion that a good many citizens would wish to see their prince marry. With his heroic actions at the Battle of Asgard and his new status as a protector of Midgard, the Asgardian man reasoned that Loki was held in regard by a sizable number. Knud would spread the word among his fellow artisans regarding the prince’s new vocation. I was blessed with loving, supportive friends. At eight o’clock, I phoned my family. I was on speakerphone as Njord splashed in the cabin’s bathtub. My boy detailed every minute of his day. He’d quizzed Loki about Asgard’s ‘old ways’, so my love had begun to teach our son some of our realm’s history. It warmed my heart that father and son had found a common interest. As a prince, Loki had been drilled in Asgardian history. Further, he was well-read in many subjects. My mind conjured an image of the young man ensconced in a cozy library chair as I dusted the bookroom. I was jolted back to the present by a boom and splashing water. Njord had knocked a bottle of shampoo into the tub. “Mamma, water got all over the floor! What do I do? Is Pappa going to be angry with me?” The little boy’s voice shook.  
“Tell him before he enters the room, so he doesn’t slip. Then ask if he wants you to wipe it up with your towel after you dry off or if he has a mop. Why would he be angry?”  
“Maybe he’ll think I wasn’t careful enough, like with the teapot that time,” the child responded anxiously.  
“Accidents happen, Sweet.”  
I heard the creak of the door. “Pappa! Don’t come in, yet! The shampoo fell in the water and the floor is all wet. Should I wipe it up with my towel after I’m dry? Do you have a mop?” I could hear the apprehension in Njord’s tone, but he repeated my words exactly.  
“I’ll get another towel. Thank you for telling me,” Loki said. “I’m going to take the phone with me. Once you’re dry, come to the living room. There, the floor is dry. Let the water out. Sjofn, I’ve taken you off the speaker.”  
“Hello, my love.”  
“Hello. Will he ever stop being frightened of me?” It was Njord’s same nervous tone in a deeper voice.  
“Of course. He is desperate to please you, so he is trying to be perfect. Continue to reassure him you love him when he isn’t perfect, and he’ll relax. This is the first time you two have been alone for more than a day. He might be afraid you won’t want him to stay if he makes mistakes or that you won’t want to be alone with him again. It’s possible he thinks you’ll decide not to be his pappa if he messes up. You know what that’s like. Give him the love and tenderness you got from Queen Frigga, that you craved from Odin.”  
“I aspire to be a perfect father. I’m petrified I’ll taint him if I’m not, that I’ll turn him into the worst of who I am.”  
“You are trying the best you can, like every other parent. None of us is perfect. He is his own person and not a copy of you. You aren’t the monster you think you are, either Loki. Love your son. It’s what all of us desire- to be loved.”  
“He’s coming. I’m putting you back on the speaker.” We all chatted together for a bit then Njord asked for his bedtime story. I listened while Loki read expressively. I waited while he tucked our son into his bed after goodnights were shared. I informed my love about the marriage form we’d each need to fill out. I inquired about his preference for a low-key civil union vs. a public wedding. “I don’t think we need a public wedding. Who would attend?”  
I recounted my dialogue with Knud. “I don’t have an inclination, either way. I just want to move quickly. However, this could be an opportunity to renew your ties to Asgard if you wish.”  
“I would love that, if it were possible.”  
“It’s possible, Loki. That’s what I’m telling you. Let’s think about how we could accommodate so many guests. Any ideas?”  
“Is there a building large enough? Could we hold the wedding outside?”  
“There are some large buildings, but they’d be expensive to rent. We’d have to figure that into our budget. Outside is a no go unless we wait until May. Otherwise, it will be too cold. I was hoping to marry sooner than that.” My love deserved this opportunity to reestablish himself with our people. I desired to start our life together right away. Was I willing to wait so as to provide my husband a display that worked both ways- he could prove he’d become a prince they’d be proud to claim, and they could support and welcome him back into the community, at least figuratively? Yes. I’d told Loki our lives would be full of compromise and this would be mine. “But if we can make our nuptials a day of celebration for all our people, we should. We could have as close to an Asgardian royal wedding as you prefer. I honestly have no idea what a royal wedding is like. I’ll follow your lead. Just tell me.”  
“I’m not positive. Let me think on it. On one thing we are agreed, though, Sjofn. We must marry quickly. You, me, Njord, we’ve all longed to be a family and live together. A spectacle can be made anytime. Trust me, I know all about making a spectacle of myself. Since I can remember my own death and have been stuck in a semi-existence ever since, I feel this very acutely; our lives should be lived now, not put on hold. I have a new job, new friends, and a new place to live. A new wife and family will begin my new life afresh.”  
“I love you so much, Loki.”  
“I love you, too. I will brainstorm tomorrow so that when you ring up in the evening we can plan. I won’t keep you up late. Goodnight, my darling Sjofn.”  
“Goodnight my love.”  
Twenty-four hours later, I was gabbing with my sweethearts via computer. Loki had proactively contacted the Sorcerer Supreme to use the electronics at the cabin that had been installed to enable therapy sessions. Njord had bathed earlier than usual so he could chat longer. He recited more Asgardian history. He proudly sang a verse of an old folk love song his father taught him that day. “I like to hear Pappa sing. He sounds good.”  
“Yes, he does.” The song stirred in me a memory of the first banquet at which I’d served. There was an illness among the domestics, so I volunteered to help clear dishes. With the Queen at the dinner, I had few personal duties that couldn’t be done thereafter, and I longed to see the splendor. I was retrieving dessert plates when the entertainment began. The princes were each prevailed upon to perform a short piece of music. I only heard snatches of Thor’s air on the lute as I headed back to the kitchens. I’d just reentered the Great Hall when Loki began to sing the folk ballad. I was bewitched by the soft timbre of his baritone. The lyrics recounted lovers, eager for their wedding day. My young maid’s heart was captured in that moment. Already half in love with the raven-haired prince, I fell off the cliff. I was so slow gathering the last of the plates, I was reprimanded by the kitchen staff. Fortunately, it was verbal, and I was let off easy since it was a responsibility outside my normal duties. Loki wouldn’t have been aware of my presence at that particular dinner, if he even recalled performing the ballad there.  
I confided my recollection to my son and praised him for his lovely boy-soprano rendition. I heard the snap of a door beyond what I could see then my prince came into view wearing a puffy ski coat, bearing an armload of firewood. As the previous night, I listened and waited for Njord’s bedtime ritual to be completed, then my love joined me.  
“Hello Darling. Did you have a nice day?”  
“A boring day, actually. More cleaning. I may as well get as much of it done without someone else coming behind me making another mess,” I chortled.  
“Njord? Why, he’s such a neat child,” murmured his dad. “There are toys, books, and clothing strewn all about this place.”  
“You should make him put all the toys in his bag before his bath. If you have something he can put dirty clothes in- a box, a basket, a bag, or some such, he can do that, too. I’m sorry I didn’t think to send a dirty clothes bag.”  
“Not a problem. I am thrilled to have him here. I can put up with a bit of clutter,” my love demurred. “I have an idea for our wedding, but I am wondering, do know how many former nobles are left in New Asgard?”  
“I am only aware of maybe fifty or so that I remember from my duties at court. Why do you ask?”  
“Most aristocrats can use minor forms of Asgardian magic. In addition, warriors and soldiers would know enough to raise or lower air temperature when camped on a battlefield. Are there soldiers?”  
“There must be. When we first landed on Midgard, we had to camp. There were men and women who instructed others how to build makeshift shelters and such. In fact, there were a few nights when it became uncomfortably chilly. Valkyrie cast a bubble of sorts around us and the air was warmed inside. I don’t know who all those citizens are, but I can ask Val and Knud if they are acquainted with any. What are you thinking?”  
“The bubble you describe traps the air inside, which can be heated or cooled, as needed. We could hold our ceremony outdoors with this buffer, and if we have enough Asgardians who can modify the area around themselves, we can make the temperature comfortable, even for Midgardian spouses, like your friend. Between Valkyrie, Thor, and me, we can cast a large shield. Is there a space we can use?”  
Excitement surged within me. “Perhaps the place where we camped. It is spacious. Valkyrie can help me find any rules or permits that might be required. I noticed you included her in the guest list. As Mayor and King, she would make the perfect legal officiant, if you’re amenable,” I coaxed.  
“I had hoped Thor would marry us, but I see your point. I was thinking Bucky would stand as witness with me, but Thor can do so, instead.”  
“Why not both? My dearest friend is Kjersti, so I will have her as witness for me. I also have a lovely friend who was a servant in the palace, and I want to include an Asgardian. We’d each have two attendants. Lastly, since my parents are gone, I want Bruce to give me away. Will that be too awkward for you?”  
“No. We’ve been cordial over the telephone, I’m certain we can get along for a day or two for you. Let’s discuss the ceremony itself. Are there any rituals you don’t like? This is all new and I do what I want, anyway, so we can include or exclude whatever we choose to make the ceremony our own. I insist on the Arm Binding, not just for us, but Njord, as well. We may have to modify to just our hands to accommodate height differences, but I wish my son to be bound to my other side. And as Odin’s son, Thor must pronounce the Blessing of the Allfather. Any other choices are yours,” suggested Loki.  
“I am happy with the traditions of home, though the vows don’t quite fit for life on Earth. Midgardians have vows for their weddings in various traditions, too. We could consider those, or write our own,” I mused.  
“We should definitely write our own,” enthused my fiancée. “Tomorrow evening we can plot our attire and décor. I can see the yawns you endeavor to hide. Get your rest. I love you. Goodnight, my darling.”  
“I’ll call Val tomorrow about the venue and citizens with knowledge of magic. I love you, Loki. Goodnight.”  
On Monday, I delivered my finished transcriptions and ran my errands. I phoned Val, who promised to look into my petitions. I walked down to check in with Kjersti, who was feeling much better. I left a message for Knud regarding former soldiers. My video call with my boys proceeded as it had the previous night. Njord recounted his daily activities and sang to me again, adding a verse. Loki and I decided we would wait to contemplate décor until we were together. I’d already determined I’d wear my Yule gift. Loki would commission his garb from the artisans, starting with Knud. He couldn’t settle on a design, though. “Do you have an opinion, Sjofn?”  
I hesitated. “I do, but what holds a happy meaning for me may have an entirely different connotation for you. The black leather suit you were wearing during the Battle of Asgard and our escape, when you and I first connected would be my choice. It would also reinforce the memory of you fighting for our people. However, I have to assume you died in that ensemble. I can’t expect you to dredge up that kind of trauma for our wedding.”  
“The memory of my death holds layers of meaning for me. Yes, it is a reminder of my unholy alliance with Thanos,” he replied, with a haunted expression. “And also watching him torture Thor. The Titan would have killed him. I’d suffered torment and a small part of me wanted Thor to understand why I’d invaded Midgard at the Titan’s behest. In the event, I couldn’t watch my brother thus afflicted, much less die, for the choices I’d made. I attempted to trick my way out, as usual. It didn’t work. But in those final moments, I sealed my peace with Thor. I bought time for Hulk to come out, though I thought he’d be a match for Thanos. I even managed to get in a last riposte,” my prince chuckled mirthlessly. “I perished with more dignity than I deserved. It is not a wholly dreadful recollection. Given that fact, and our history, I’d be proud to wear that suit for our union. I already have my helmet.” He smiled, though his eyes were glassy.  
  
I smiled back and sniffed. “You’ll be the most handsome Asgardian there- as you should be. I suppose Njord should wear his training armor? It will cement our recreation of Old Asgard, here on Earth.” Loki agreed. We said our I-love-yous and goodnights and logged off. That night, I had a delightful dream of my wedding. I awoke early Tuesday morning, eager for a day with my guys. I did a couple of transcriptions while I still had some time alone. When Dr. Strange arrived, he wasn’t alone. A tall blond woman was by his side. I was introduced to Pepper Potts, widow of Tony Stark, my husband-to-be’s new employer. The doctor explained that she had some paperwork for Loki and that we’d reschedule with Bucky. She was casually friendly as we stepped through the portal into Sweden. I spied my son’s face in the window of the cabin. In seconds, the door flew open. “Hello, my sweet! I missed you!” I shepherded my boy to the side to hug, once my thick coat was removed.  
“I missed you, too, Mamma.” He squeezed me forcefully. “I’ve had lots of fun with Pappa, though.”  
“I know. I’m glad you got to be with him for a long weekend. The lady talking with Dr. Strange and Pappa is his boss from his new job. We’ll need to have a consultation. Can you play in Pappa’s room until we’re finished?”  
“Okay.” I pecked him on the cheek, and he scooted off.  
I joined the adults at the kitchen table, giving my love a smile. He took my hand in his. Ms. Potts elucidated about the forms that were to be filed with the U.S. government to allow us to live and work there, as well as for her to pay Loki the salary that was offered. The wage wasn’t large, but the living quarters, including training rooms, and tech, plus medical benefits made up for that. Loki presented a unique case, having not been born on Earth and having no surviving records from Asgard. An employee of Stark Industries had recreated records of the sort that were needed using the material Loki had submitted. He was to look over those to verify that all was correct, sign a few papers, and fill out others. They went through all the paperwork and Loki’s boss put her briefcase on the table to stow them. “Ms. Potts, is one of those documents a birth certificate?”  
“Yes, this one is.” She pushed a sheet toward me.  
“I don’t mean to impose, but as you know, Loki and I are planning to marry, and would like to do so in New Asgard, among our people. I have asylum in Norway, but Loki is considered a foreigner. We need a birth certificate to get a marriage license. We’d planned to ask Valkyrie for help, but if we could get a copy of this,” I indicated the paper in front of me,” that will solve everything.”  
The lady smiled. “Of course! I’m glad to help. I’ll have a copy made and send it with Dr. Strange.” She gave the sorcerer a questioning glance. He nodded his assent. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Sjofn.”  
“I’m glad to have met you. Thanks so much! We are looking forward to this opportunity for a new life.” I gave Loki’s hand a gentle clinch.  
“Yes,” my fiancé affirmed. “I am grateful. Let me know when the work visa comes through.”  
“We have someone we work with at Citizenship and Immigration Services who may be able to, ah, fast-track the application. We expect it in around eight weeks, rather than the usual five months. Until then, text if you need anything else to train with here.”  
“I will. Thank you.” They shook hands and Ms. Potts gathered her case and donned her coat.  
Dr. Strange bundled up, too. “I’ll be back this evening, Sjofn.” The circle of fiery light bloomed, and they were gone.  
I squealed and Loki laughed. “Now I know where Njord gets that tendency.”  
“Loki, that birth certificate means we can start the process with the Norwegian government. It takes around six weeks. We can have our wedding, then you can start your job soon after. It’s really happening!” I did a little happy dance.  
My prince swung me around and gave me a resounding kiss. “Would you like to finish organizing our wedding? I have a sketch for the décor.” He retrieved his sketchbook from his room.  
Njord joined us in the living room. “Pappa asked me some of the things you like. I told him you like lots of flowers because you like to put them in the house in spring and summer. I told him you like music, too.”  
Loki appeared alarmed. “You were very helpful Njord. Why don’t you practice the Aesir alphabet I taught you?”  
“Sure!” The boy dug a notebook out of a drawer and drew letters belonging to the Asgardian language.  
“Are you alright, Love?”  
“I’m fine. Do you prefer any particular flowers?”  
I gave him a long look but turned my attention back to the drawing. I’d brought my old bag with my laptop inside. We scrolled through images of flowers, finally settling on three we like best. I stowed the sketch in my bag to show to Kjersti. She’d been through the process of planning nuptials and could help. I was also hoping Knud’s connections to the wider community of New Asgardians would mean we could support businesses owned or operated by our people. We had a lovely, lazy day. After a large midday meal, we put on our outside gear for a wondrous snowball fight. We played cards, danced to Midgardian popular music, and Loki taught Njord some more Asgardian history. “You know,” I thought aloud, “you ought to write a record of Asgard. You are knowledgeable and authoring a book can’t be much different from writing a play. There are some slim volumes on recent history in the Asgard section of the library, but very little chronicles before our parent’s lifetimes.”  
“I don’t know. I’m not certain I’ll have time.”  
Dr. Strange arrived in the late evening to send Njord and me home. The boy begged to stay until Friday. I felt like he would need time to get back to the regular hours of our routine before school started back. I reminded him we could call or video chat. Loki backed me up, promising to contact us every night as I’d done. Njord was still disappointed but didn’t fuss any further. We hugged and kissed our Loki goodbye, gathered Njord’s belongings, and walked through the portal. Video chats occurred at eight every night. Loki gave a fifteen-minute lesson in history, then our son gave an account of his day. I put the child to bed, then my love and I visited. I gave a nightly update on the progress of our wedding. The Sorcerer Supreme had delivered the copy of the birth certificate with him Tuesday night. Valkyrie was taking care of the list of aristocratic Asgardians and had requested permits for the national park where we wished to hold the ceremony. Knud was compiling a list of commoners who’d served in the Asgardian military and was commissioned to construct Loki’s leather suit. I gave him a diagram and a set of Midgardian clothes from which to figure measurements. I researched florists. Friday was the rescheduled day for teleportation practice. Njord and I hung out at the cabin while Dr. Strange conjured entryways back and forth to wherever Loki teleported. Loki entertained Njord, bringing him various animals to inspect. First, was a butterfly from South America. Second, he bore a frog from Florida, in the U.S. As he was about to return it, he whispered in my ear, “Is it Thor?” in reference to an incident in their childhood wherein he’d briefly transfigured his brother into an amphibian. He’d immortalized the moment in his play. A beautiful black and white bird with an orange beak arrived from the English coast. Next, was a domestic tabby cat. A playful golden retriever loped about, sniffing, and licking before going back to her humans. The animals were increasing in size, so the rest had to appear outdoors.  
Njord and I were pulling on our gloves when a rap came upon the door. I opened it. “Baaa,” greeted our guest.  
We stepped out onto the porch as the wooly sheep disappeared. Out on the grounds, Loki popped into view astride a reindeer. Finally, he showed up with some sort of large, cow-like creature. It stood shivering visibly, making an odd noise somewhere between a “moo” and an “oink”.  
“What on earth is that thing?” I shouted.  
“A wildebeest from Kenya,” Loki yelled back.  
“Africa? That poor animal is freezing to death here! Put that thing back where you got it, or so help me…” Just like that, they were gone.  
Then suddenly, Loki and the doctor were on the veranda, sans wildebeest. “That went well. Time to test a human,” my magician stated cheerfully. I could hear a hint of nervousness in his voice.  
“Take me first,” I commanded.  
“Okay,” Loki agreed. “We’re going to meet Bucky in New York, so the wizard can stay here.” He turned to Strange. “I’m going to introduce her, so allow us time to get acquainted. The Sorcerer Supreme quirked an eyebrow but made no reply.  
I hugged Njord. “We’ll be back soon. Then you can have your turn.” Loki draped his arm around my shoulders. I reached around his waist. I instinctively closed my eyes. For a split second, darkness engulfed us. I peeped through my lashes to find myself in a parking lot surrounded by apartment buildings. It was not yet sunup. Streetlamps glowed orange. Yellow light shone over doorways and in stairwells. A man leaned against a wall nearby. He was tall, dark hair, sporting a goatee. He popped his collar against the frigid wind. My love led me to him.  
“Sjofn, please meet Bucky Barnes. Bucky, this is my fiancée, Sjofn,” Loki introduced.  
We shook hands. “It is nice to finally meet you, Sjofn. I’ve heard so much about you. I expected to see a white light and halo, the way Loki described you,” Bucky told me.  
I laughed. “I am nowhere close to being an angel. Loki speaks of you, often, too. It is a pleasure to meet the man who has been such a good friend to my love. Is this where we’ll live?”  
“Temporarily. The training compound has already broken ground and the land is being cleared. Would you like to come inside where it’s warm?” he invited.  
Loki answered, “I need to bring Njord. It won’t take but a moment.” He vanished for maybe five seconds.  
My boys materialized in front of us. At the same time, a young man called from the landing above. “Hi Loki! I heard you were coming today.” We followed Bucky up the steps. “Is this your family?”  
“Yes. This is my fiancée, Sjofn, and my son, Njord. Please meet Peter Parker, also known as Spider Man.”  
Njord’s eyes rounded. “You’re really Spider Man?”  
“Yep. Are you really the son of a god?”  
“A god? He’s just my pappa.” Our son had heard that Midgardians referred to Asgardian royalty as gods but having never been in Asgard and seen the true extent of their lifestyle, it made little impression on him. He was completely unaware that his father was styled the “God of Mischief”. Loki tensed up beside me.  
Peter sensed he’d made a faux pas and quickly distracted the boy with, “Would you like to see my suit and web shooters?”  
“Wow! Yes!” Njord exclaimed.  
Bucky spoke up. “Bring them to my place.”  
“Okay.” Peter went to his apartment to grab the items.  
Bucky led us across the landing to his abode, as Dr. Strange topped the stairs. “Come in. Sorry, Loki, you know how Peter is. Like a puppy sometimes. He wanted to meet your family.”  
My prince presented his son to his friend proudly. Peter entertained Njord, allowing him to touch the suit, showing him the web shooters and where he stored web fluid. The rest of us chattered about wedding plans, commuting between New York and Norway, and moving. We spent a nice half hour in New York. Dr. Strange broke up the gathering to take us back to the Swedish chalet. We ate lunch. The doctor went to the attic room, to read, giving us some privacy. Njord flitted about the living room, pretending to shoot webs and catch criminals. I curled up to Loki on the sofa.  
My fiancé was miffed at Parker. “Why did he have to say anything about gods? I’ve managed to avoid explaining my appellation so far and I’d rather not have to at all,” Loki fumed in a low voice.  
“I imagine meeting a god was as fascinating to him as meeting Spider Man to Njord,” I soothed. “Besides, Njord has heard Thor called the God of Thunder. I always referred to you as a prince and I guess he just hasn’t made the connection that you have a title of god.”  
“Yes, well, I don’t want him to hear that title. I no longer desire to be the God of Mischief and Lies. I want to be something better,” my love sighed in frustration.  
“What do you wish to be?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Have you considered my recommendation of writing?”  
“Yes. I admit I find it appealing. I just don’t know where to begin.”  
“Why not start with an outline? You can organize chronologically. If you can use the computer for your outline, you can add lines whenever you remember facts or stories you want to include. Perhaps you can become the God of Myths and Stories, instead,” I suggested.  
“Sjofn, you are a treasure. Are you sure you aren’t the goddess herself?” Loki nuzzled my ear.  
I giggled. “Just a farmer’s daughter.”  
“You aren’t ‘just’ anything.”  
Njord interrupted our interlude. “Can we go for a walk outside?” We bundled back up to rove about the grounds. Back at the cabin, father and son built a snow fort, which Loki used to describe some military history. Njord practiced his warrior moves. At dinner, I apprised the doctor that Loki would need to come to New Asgard to turn in his paperwork for our upcoming marriage. I suggested he do so on a Tuesday so that it would be like our regular visitations in reverse, not taking extra time. He was acquiescent. Njord would be back in class starting Monday. We’d return to our previous schedule of Tuesdays after school and my solo Fridays, when I lingered until midday. Settling on a date two weeks out, Loki changed the subject. Departure was difficult, as always, but we opted to keep up video chats every night at eight. There were exciting developments over the next few weeks. Valkyrie assisted me with registration for permits in the park for the nuptials. Loki got an appointment with the tax office for us to turn in our documentation. Knud dropped by while Loki was in New Asgard to take some measurements and fit some preliminary pieces of my fiancé’s raiment. My love stayed with us until Njord was in bed. Kjersti, my palace friend, Agnetha, and I had a day of shopping for dresses. We patronized the tailor from whom Loki had bought my wedding dress. My attendants chose designs and colors, with both gowns to be completed in four weeks. Agnetha, like I, had been a maid to Queen Frigga. She’d styled the queen’s hair for many years. She would be in charge of doing our hair in Asgardian styles. A crew of woodworkers was hired to construct a dais upon which the wedding party would stand, accentuated by columns and trellises. Flowers and greenery were ordered from a few florists to accommodate the volume and short notice. Our Asgardian-born florist and her team would assemble the lot on the day. All of the former citizens of Asgard offered steep discounts on their products and services as gifts and a show of appreciation for Loki’s part in the evacuation at the Battle of Asgard. My love would not allow them to go wholesale, though. He insisted that they earn some profit from our patronage. The only workers that were Midgardians were the caterers. We didn’t want any of our people to miss the ceremony to work the reception. The caterers would also provide bistro tables for citizens. Long tables with chairs would be available for children. Of course, for all these orders to be placed, we had settled the greatest detail- the date. We were to be married on March fifth. We realized we had no way to contact Thor to apprise him of the date. Dr. Strange was our surprising rescuer. He was in contact with the Guardians of the Galaxy. He relayed messages to Peter Quill and Rocket Raccoon. They responded with a plan to touch down a few days prior to the event and stay until the day after. Knud and Valkyrie provided their respective lists of the New Asgardian populace who’d been aristocrats or served as military of Asgard. Loki personally contacted each one to extend a verbal invitation and petition their help to keep the air within the shield comfortable. Only a handful declined. All Asgardians received a printed invitation. Loki still had money left after Yule that he’d brought to Midgard and I had saved quite a bit, but most would be wiped out; it was worth the celebration for New Asgard and its Prince. Finally, all the planning and ordering was completed. We were just waiting on the government. Our little family was overcome with impatience. Njord spent lots of time with Finn outside, running, making snow angels, and teaching his friend Asgardian fighting tactics as he understood them. He bathed after supper, had a cup of chamomile tea, and video called his father. He still had trouble falling asleep some nights. On Tuesdays, we spent more of our day outside the cabin than inside. Walks, snowball fights, fort construction, and building snowmen became compulsory activities just to use up energy. Fridays were especially trying. It had been around a year and a half since Loki and I had been physically intimate. Now we were engaged and weeks away from our wedding. We were alone for hours at a time without urgent preparation to distract us. I earnestly made clear that while I pined for him in every way, I wanted the next time I made love to be with my husband- not fiancé. He didn’t understand what difference a ceremony and paper would make- it wasn’t about those. It was that our whole new life would begin with that ceremony. He still didn’t quite get it, and was rather frustrated, but agreed to wait the several weeks until we were married. That lasted two weeks. The temptation was overwhelming. I switched to Friday afternoons and brought Njord. It was the only way to hold to my own resolve.  
Despair twisted in my chest like Loki’s daggers. He was gone. Again. This time he wouldn’t come back. His kisses, his touches, his smile were all just memories. I couldn’t think, only feel and those feelings dragged me down into an abyss. Nausea roiled in my stomach. I woke with beads of perspiration on my brow. I stumbled to the bathroom. I was pale and clammy. I splashed water on my face and went to make coffee. The vestiges of the nightmare, a flashback to when Thor had arrived in Midgard and broken the news of Loki’s death, still held my emotions in thrall. Using some breathing techniques from a yoga class, I calmed my frantic heart. The heat from my mug of java warmed my chilled hands. Yes, that Loki was actually dead, but he’d been integrated into the Alternate Loki, whom I would marry this day. I swigged the last of the coffee and started breakfast. Njord came bouncing into the kitchen. “Mamma, when do we go to our wedding?”  
“Our wedding?”  
“I know you and Pappa are the ones getting married, but I’ll be in the wedding, too. And Pappa says I have to be a part of the Arm Binding.”  
“Ah, okay. Not until one fifteen this afternoon, silly boy. We have lots of time.”  
“That’s so long. I can’t wait!” my son wailed.  
“So dramatic, like your father. After breakfast, you may go outside and fight the army taking over your swing set,” I suggested.  
“OOO, will you help me put on my armor?”  
“Not until you get ready for the wedding. You’ll need to choose other clothes to fight in.”  
“But Mamma,” he wheedled.  
“No, no, and no. Not today. You will not get your wedding suit messed up or you won’t stand with us,” I warned.  
Njord sobered right up. “Yes, Mamma.”  
At one forty-five, Agnetha parked her car containing Kjersti, Njord, and I with others in a lot. We trekked a quarter mile through frozen forest into the field where we Asgardians had first landed. As per custom, the guests were standing before the dais. No one had ascended the structure as yet, but it was just as Loki had sketched it. Njord, Kjersti, and Agnetha walked to the front of the crowd. I was met by Bruce Banner at the back. I could just make out a shimmer as a magical bubble enclosed the assemblage. Most of New Asgard had turned out. With the shield in place, the air warmed considerably. Snow had already been cleared from the ground. A small group of folks collected heavy coats and placed them on long tables behind Bruce and me. Valkyrie, Loki, Njord, and our attendants took their places on the dais. Thor carried a lute. At a signal from Smart Hulk, he began to play. The mass parted to each side to form an aisle through the middle. I tucked my hand into the crook of Bruce’s elbow. I had no relatives to give me away, except Njord. Since he couldn’t really be giving me away, I chose the brother of my heart. My love regarded me as I glided down the aisle. His appearance mirrored that as I’d boarded The Statesman in his black leather suit with green accents and green cape. Upon his head perched the open horned helmet with which I’d gifted him at Yule.  
  
Standing a little in front and to his right, our son stood in his leather armor of black and green. Bruce and I traversed the steps in the center of the dais. He led me to Loki, then repaired to ground level to observe the ceremony with Korg and Drax where they wouldn’t block anyone’s view. Loki took my hands in his. Valkyrie began the ceremony. She recited the Asgardian Tenants of Marriage and Family. She stepped back and Thor picked up the lute. I was confused, as this hadn’t been discussed or rehearsed. Loki gave his brother a quick nod over the shoulder. Thor strummed while Loki serenaded me with the love ballad I recalled from that long-ago Asgardian banquet, that he’d taught Njord. Our son mouthed the words he knew and grinned proudly through the rest. I now understood why Loki had been alarmed when the boy had informed me during the planning stages that he’d told his father about my favorite things. My love had thought our son would spoil his surprise. Such a delightful surprise! His voice was as rich and lovely as I recalled. When the song came to an end, Njord handed over the black and green scarves he’d been holding. Valkyrie raised our clasped hands so that our forearms were touching down to the elbows. She bound our arms jointly with the black scarf. Loki turned his body and took Njord’s hand. Val repeated the ritual with the green scarf, symbolizing the lifelong binding of our lives together.  
We had written our vows. “Sjofn,” Loki began, “You have brought connection and affection into my life. You showed me love and that I have always been loved. You’ve challenged me to be a good man. I have learned it is not good to be alone. I vow to listen when you need to be heard and when you offer wise counsel. I promise to be faithful and support your goals. I will love you without effort and reservation and will lay down my life for you and our family, if needed. I make these vows in the hearing of our family, friends, and people, to hold me accountable.”  
“Loki, my love, I was taught by your mother, Queen Frigga, to look deeper than behavior to motivation to find the person underneath. Whenever I beheld you, I saw a thirst of knowledge, an admiration of art, and a search for identity and acceptance. I vow to remind you of the good that lives inside you. I promise to stand in front of you for defense, behind you for support, and always beside you as a partner. I will support you in public, and correct you in private, if needed- and I expect the same from you. I may knock you out of your comfort zone sometimes to facilitate growth. And I vow, here before this assemblage to always love you.”  
Thor and Valkyrie switched places. Thor placed a hand on each of our shoulders and gave the Blessing of the Allfather. He paced back and picked up the lute. The guests reformed the aisle so the wedding party could process to the back. At the close of the music, Loki, Thor, and Valkyrie widened the shield to encompass the entire field and a park ranger’s truck filled with food. The caterers had already set out the tables, but they unloaded the food that had been warming. Those with magical abilities warmed the entire space inside the bubble. During this interlude, we were unbound, then circulated among our guests, accepting congratulations and best wishes. Njord had found several friends. They chased one another happily. With all in readiness, Loki announced that the food was to be served. The Asgardian citizens were grateful for a mostly traditional wedding to remind them of our old home. Thor proudly spread the word that Loki was to be a New Avenger, to protect New Asgard and Midgard. The brothers were both hailed and feted as Warriors and Princes. They were thanked for ensuring the survival of Asgard, the people. My love was in every way treated as his brother’s equal, bolstering his self-esteem. Loki’s attitude was relaxed, humble, and genuinely interested in the folks surrounding him. We spent a few hours in that field communing, remembering, celebrating. At five o’clock, coats were collected, the buffer against the cold was dissipated, and the caterers began packing up. Thor still had his house in New Asgard, where Korg and Miek lived as caretakers. Njord would spend the night there. Tomorrow, he’d go to stay with Knud, Kjersti, and Finn for a week. Dr. Strange had attended our wedding. Prior to his departure, he implanted a tracking device in Loki’s arm. We were free to travel for a week. We had no itinerary; we’d teleport where we wished. First, we’d spend our wedding night in our cottage in our hometown. We had not had sexual relations since before the Knife Incident. We were both burning to consummate our marriage. There was no waiting for bedtime or changing into sensual lingerie. After carefully disrobing and hanging our wedding garments, we came together in a frenzy. Bare skin, open-mouthed kisses, tongues, teeth, fingernails, the private, sensitive areas that henceforth would be only for one another; we made love as man and wife, a union of souls, as well as bodies. We visited the far-flung countries of the earth: Napa Valley on the West Coast and the Appalachian Mountains in the eastern region of the United States; London, England; Reykjavik, Iceland; Brisbane, Australia; Tokyo, Japan; Sri Lanka; Machu Pichu, Peru; the Maasai Mara, Kenya (where I witnessed the wildebeest in its native habitat). Upon our return, Pepper Potts visited to solicit our preferences for accents and décor in the new apartment building at the training compound. Loki had been approved for his work visa and given the go-ahead to move into the rentals that currently housed most of the other New Avengers. During our honeymoon, my husband had shared his powers with me and taught me how to teleport. He had to extend these abilities each time, but we were getting used to the routine. Furniture still needed to be purchased and Njord was in school during the week, so Loki stayed with Bucky until the boy and I got to New York after classes. Within several days, we’d purchased a bed, a fold-out sofa, recliner, dining table and chairs, entertainment armoire, television, computer, end tables, and lamps. We brought some kitchenware from our New Asgard house to use in New York. Loki moved in. There were still items we needed soon and wished for, but we were out of money. Even with the discounted services for our nuptials, we’d used up all of my savings. The three of us would have to make do with my income and the small wage Loki would bring in as a New Avenger. He informed me that in the New York afternoons, when Njord and I had returned to Norway, he labored on his history of Asgard. Njord had a spring break for a week in April. Loki awoke two hours early during that week to have four extra hours with us in New York. He still had to train, teleporting to the newly constructed Avengers gym and facilities with Bucky, spending a few hours each day. The individual and group therapy that ran for sixty minutes on Tuesday and Thursday were mandatory for my husband. Missions happened as needed, though he’d only been on one so far. A mission did come up but only took Loki from us for a day. There was a playground at the apartment campus, where our son spent time while Loki was training. He met two other children around his age there. Landon and Rebekah were also out of school for holiday, so they all played together every day. The Americans taught Njord some games they liked, and he taught them some Norwegian and Asgardian games he knew. My love and I established a television time for the boy of two hours, which we spent alone. We talked, watched movies, or had conjugal relations. In the weekend leading up to holiday’s end, we went back to our normal schedule, to allow Njord playdates with Norwegian friends. We ate our dinner with Loki at noon- luncheon for Loki, supper for Njord and me. One May day, Bucky joined us. I enjoyed his company, and I was thrilled that my husband had a confidant who accepted him for who he was. They were discussing the history book, while Njord listened raptly. I’d shared as much as I knew with my son, but his father was vastly superior in knowledge than I. It seemed that Loki was starting so far back in Asgard’s record, that he was considering volumes, rather than one compendium. Bucky inquired whether Earth sources regarding Norse Mythology would be helpful. Sometimes I still expected hauteur from Loki on anything regarding Midgard, but he simply answered in the negative, opining that the legends that had passed down bore little resemblance to reality. He did express some incredulity that he was supposed to have fathered his adoptive sister, whom he’d not known about until well into adulthood, her pet wolf, Odin’s horse, and a snake. This elicited a giggle from Njord, who howled, whinnied, and hissed gleefully. Bucky caught us all off guard with his next statement. “I know you and Strange don’t get along and I understand why. Have you given any thought to the to the resources the Masters of the Mystic Arts have in their libraries, though? That Wong fellow might be able to find books that are less myth and legend than actual chronicles of when your family visited Earth when you were a kid.”  
“I admit I hadn’t contemplated that. It is worth looking into. I appreciate the suggestion,” Loki thanked his friend. Later, just as I was preparing to leave for Norway, my love implored me to speak to Dr. Strange on his behalf, as I had a ‘way’ with the man. I promised to do so once our son was abed. The Sorcerer Supreme had no qualms over our appeal, pledging that he’d put the question to his colleague, Wong. If any books were found, he’d inform me. May wore into June. The back-and-forth travel was more wearing than I’d anticipated. Loki and I debated moving our child into a school within the New York time zone, or the Central time zone, at least, if a suitable institution could be found. I spent my evenings before bed searching for a charter or private school modeled on the Norwegian, or any Scandinavian system. I couldn’t find any. I loved that we could be together for some part of everyday but the six-hour time difference was a lot. I was not longer confident I could keep up this routine for ten more years. What if we had more children? Tending to an infant with these time jumps would be a nightmare. I wanted Njord to stay in his barneskole with his friends. I wanted a baby. I couldn’t have both. Loki advocated for a tutor. I had no clue how to go about doing that legally. I also hadn’t broached the subject of having more children. I was afraid Loki wouldn’t fancy another. He was a good father to Njord; he worked hard to be so, but he didn’t know what the baby and toddler years were like, either. The school issue had an almost easy resolution. Njord’s summer break commenced around the same time as Landon and Rebekah’s. The boy and I were to stay in New York for the next two months, making occasional visits to Norway to see friends and for me to keep up with work. The kids met up at the jungle gym and were soon begging to go to the pool. They were too young to get in unsupervised, so I met with the other parents and we worked out an informal schedule so that at least one of us accompanied the children. We were hanging out under an umbrella, pulling out lunches, when I mentioned that I couldn’t find a school to fit our needs. Rebekah was homeschooled; her mother was a mine of information on how to obtain my charter, resources, curriculum, and places like museums and youth sport organizations that offered homeschoolers special days and/or rates. Norway also had an online school for language and history classes for kids who spent some of their schooling overseas. Some homeschool families even formed co-ops and hired a teacher for particular subjects as the kids aged and the subjects became more intense. Loki and I pored over the data we’d been given and decided this would work best to cut down on the twice a day trips to New Asgard. Bucky, as Loki’s sponsor for the New Avengers, affirmed we’d still be able to schedule frequent playdates and hangouts with friends. We had to break the news to our son that he’d be leaving his barneskole. He expressed disappointment, still, he wasn’t a broken-hearted as I expected. The child understood he’d still be able to keep his mates in our hometown, while making new pals in New York. Indeed, Landon and Rebekah had welcomed Njord with open arms and treated him as if he’d always been a part of their friendship. I waded through the process of legally teaching my son, finding the right curriculum, and enrolling him in Globalskolen.  
I finally introduced to the topic of having a baby with my husband. He was receptive but he could be impulsive. I needed for him to be sure this was his desire, too. “There are no guarantees that a second child would be as easygoing as Njord. We could have a colicky baby, special needs, or a sensitive child like you were. You can’t assume that all children are the same. I want you to really think on this. There aren’t any take-backs once we’ve created a life,” I fretted.  
“I will. It is important to me that our children always know they are wanted and loved. I’ll discuss it with my therapist. I’m not taking this lightly, I promise.” He pulled me close to press a kiss on me. “We can practice, though.” Practice makes perfect!  
Njord slept on the fold-out sofa in the living room. Our son clambered into bed with us most mornings. At first, he was chatty, but his father instructed him to be still and quiet until everyone was ready to wake up or he’d have to stay on the sofa. Then he’d crawl in during the late hours of the night and fall back to sleep. I expected to waken to my son’s bubbly enthusiasm and my husband by my side. Instead, I was in the pre-dawn room alone, muffled tones coming from the other side of the door. I slipped from under the sheet into the warm air. I exited the bedroom, making very little noise. I made my way through the living room to see my two boys in the kitchen. They were both clad in their skivvies, raven tresses sticking out in every direction from their noggins. I had a fit of the giggles. “Mamma, you’re supposed to still be in bed. Pappa said we were going to let you sleep in and bring you breakfast in bed!” Njord screeched.  
“I woke up all by myself, wondering where my loves had gone. The plan was a good one but now we can all eat together.”  
“Why are you laughing?” the boy questioned.  
“You and Pappa look funny standing over there with no jammies and your hair all askew. You are two peas in a pod.”  
“What does that mean?”  
“It means you are just alike. And you’re both adorable.”  
“And we’re supposed to be cooking,” Loki admonished. “Are you going to finish helping, Njord?”  
“Coming, Pappa!” The child skipped back to the kitchen. I curled up in the recliner to await my meal.  
One Friday, I was the first to open my eyes. The morning light was still gray but there was just enough to see. Njord was pressed against his dad’s side, Loki’s arm about his shoulders. Father and son were blue; they were in their Jotun forms. Sheer astoundment made me gasp. My prince’s eyelids fluttered then twin red irises stared back at me. I mustered as sweet a smile as I could. My love smiled back. He moved his arm to reach out to me and beheld his blue skin. Horror filled his countenance; his mouth fell open in an ‘O’ of shock. His breathing quickened. “Loki,” I whispered, “please don’t wake your son like this. You’re stunned, I know, but there isn’t any cause for alarm,” I soothed. “Njord is blue, too. One of you most likely had a dream that caused the conversion and the other turned in response to touch. Do you feel any pain?”  
“No,” came the ragged reply.  
“Good. You aren’t hurting anyone, else, either. He’s moving. Please don’t let your reaction scare him.”  
The little boy rolled over and his red eyes pierced the gloom. “G’morning, Mamma,” he slurred sleepily.  
“Good morning my sweet. How are you?”  
“Fine.”  
“Are you cold?”  
“No. Why?”  
“You are blue.”  
He looked down at his body. “Whoa! Mamma, I’m blue all over!” His voice betrayed no sense of fear, only bewilderment.  
“Hey, Pappa!” He twisted around. “Oh my gosh! Pappa, you’re blue, too! And you have lines on your forehead and face. Do I?”  
“Yes,” Loki croaked.  
“Wow! I want to see!” Njord scrambled off the bed to the mirror above the dresser. “I’m turning back to normal.” His tone of disappointment was comical to me, but I realized my husband wouldn’t be amused.  
“Since you are half-Jotun, blue would still be normal for you, but I know you meant how you usually appear.” I spoke as matter-of-factly as possible, as much for Loki’s benefit, as Njord’s.  
Our son bounded back to the bed. “Pappa looks like usual, too, now. Why did we go all Jotuny?”  
“I don’t know. Do you remember any dreams?”  
“No.”  
I shrugged. “Why don’t you go get yourself some fruit for breakfast? You may turn on the TV until Pappa and I come out.”  
“Okay,” and he scooted off.  
I focused on my love. “Are you okay?”  
“I suppose so.” He still sounded faintly appalled. “What if it happens again?”  
“I don’t know. What if it does? What if it has happened before? Is it not common knowledge that you are Jotun? All of Asgard knows from your play.”  
“Well, yes, I guess so. I thought Odin’s magic would keep me from the transformation, though. The first time it happened was when a Frost Giant grabbed me. If Njord changed first, that would make sense.”  
“Hm,” I murmured, noncommittally.  
“But Sjofn, if he can change, that could be dangerous,” Loki’s voice rose again in panic.  
“Let’s wait and see if it happens again. I’m not going to get worked up if it only ever happens in response to a dream. Are you hungry?” My love didn’t reply but he arose to start the day. The boy was watching a children’s program while we ate. When it ended, he went to get dressed. He whooped and came running out to the living room, again the blue baby icicle he’d been earlier.  
“I did it!” he exclaimed. “I made myself blue!” His father dropped the bowl he’d been carrying to the sink with a crash.  
“I see,” I stated as calmly as I could. “How did you do that?”  
“I closed my eyes and I thought about how I looked in the mirror. When I opened them, I was blue again!”  
“You just concentrated?”  
“Yes! Now I can be blue whenever I want!”  
“NO, YOU CAN’T!” Loki shouted.  
Njord’s lip began to tremble, while his skin reverted to his creamy complexion. “Sweetheart, finish dressing, and we’ll explain, okay?” I infused warmth and tranquility into my tone. He shuffled off while I went to embrace my husband. “He doesn’t understand the implications. I don’t want to completely frighten him, either. I get that this is triggering for you. Do you want me to handle the conversation alone? Do you want to be involved but let me lead? How do you want to handle this?”  
“I WANT HIM TO STOP!” my prince bit out.  
“I recognize that, but he doesn’t have the emotional strain that you do regarding this ability. Also, I reminded you that others are aware of your parentage because you told them, so by extension, they know that our son is half-Jotun. In fact, he looks a little like the child in your play. He is going to face some issues if chooses to change at will but commanding him to stop will only work for so long. He’ll rebel at some point. We have to have a dialogue. And it needs to be done calmly. Can you do that right now?”  
“I…. don’t know.” My love sounded so lost.  
“Will you let me lead the conversation?”  
“Alright.”  
“You should probably tell your therapist about this. Can you send her a message?”  
“Yes.”  
I heard pattering footfalls. “Hey, Sweet, come sit with me on the sofa.” We snuggled up while Loki took the recliner. “I guess it is pretty intriguing that you can change your form, huh?”  
“Yep! I don’t remember when I was born. But I look really different,” the child was exhilarated.  
“You sure do. The thing is, that might be scary to other people.”  
“Why? It’s just me.”  
“They might think that because you look differently, you’ll act differently. Remember that time when you told me your friends’ families said it was good that you were like me? And that some didn’t like Loki very much and that he used to be bad? You asked me if he was bad because he was a Frost Giant.”  
“You said no. You said Asgardians fought wars with Frost Giants so they were afraid of them. You said Pappa heard the stories about them being monsters and he was afraid he was a monster but he isn’t; I’m not either. Will people think that I am?”  
I was surreptitiously observing Loki as I spoke with Njord. When he heard his son repeat my words about monsters, I saw a tear or two track down his cheek. “It is possible, Sweet. When people, whether Midgardian or Asgardian, get scared, they can forget what they know. They might forget that you are polite, helpful, and that you like them. There is nothing wrong with your Frost Giant form. It doesn’t make you behave any differently, but they might forget that. It is the reason I’ve asked you to not talk about Frost Giants with your friends. It is the same thing. However, with your family- me, your Pappa, Uncle Thor, Uncle Bruce, even the New Avengers and their families, who have seen or know about your Jotun form- you are safe to choose when to change or how you want to look. When you are older, you’ll learn how to choose who the safe people are to whom you can show your Frost Giant appearance. Both ways, Asgardian and Jotun, are normal for you. You are just as much Asgardian as Jotun, so you aren’t hiding your real self, you are just reserving something special about yourself for the special people in your life. It is the same reason why you’ll wear pajamas when you spend the night with Finn or Landon but sleep in your underwear at home. In fact, it is why we wear clothes when it is hot outside. There are parts of our bodies that we keep covered, except sometimes around the people closest to us. Does that make sense to you?”  
“Yes, Mamma. I think I look cool when I’m blue. May I be blue at home sometimes?”  
“Yes. Home is a safe place.”  
Njord got down to cross over to his dad. “Pappa do you like it when you’re blue?” he innocently questioned.  
“No, Njord, I don’t. I used to feel different and like there was something wrong with me when I was your age. That feeling got worse as I got older. The first time I turned blue, I was fighting a Frost Giant who touched me, thinking he could hurt me. It was just my arm, but it was frightening. There used to be a casket that Frost Giants could use to turn other realms permanently icy like their own. When Odin defeated the Jotuns, he took that casket back to old Asgard. When I touched it, I transformed again. That was how I found out I wasn’t Asgardian. Turning blue brings back distressing memories and I consider it dangerous.” Loki spoke stiffly and hesitantly but also articulately and evenly.  
“Why did the Frost Giant think he could hurt you?”  
“The Frost Giant’s skin is so cold it will burn Asgardian skin like ice can.”  
“Then why don’t we burn Mamma’s skin?”  
“We might, in our Jotun forms. I don’t really know. We weren’t touching her this morning. Please be careful when you change. When we shift into our Asgardian forms-which for you is genetic but for me is a shape shift- our skin in no longer that cold.”  
“I can hurt Mamma when I’m blue?!”  
“Maybe. I don’t know, Njord.”  
My baby came running back to hug me. “I’m sorry, Mamma! I don’t want to hurt you. I won’t change to blue again,” he mumbled as he began to weep.  
“You don’t need to apologize. You can turn but be careful about it. Please don’t cry, my sweet.” I held my boy close, sending Loki a reproachful glare. “Why don’t you find another show to watch for a bit while I chat with Pappa, then we’ll go outside.”  
“Okay.” My child sniffled as he found the remote to the TV. I waved my husband back to the bedroom.  
I shut the door with a snap. “Why did you do that?” I hissed. “I am walking a fine line between keeping him safe from those who fear his Frost Giant genetics and keeping him from being as traumatized as you were. I asked you not to frighten him!” My mamma bear instincts were in high gear.  
“Should I let him hurt you? Do you not think that will damage him?” Loki asked. “I told you I wanted him to stop and I didn’t change my mind. I didn’t lead off with it, he asked. I wasn’t going to spare his feelings, Sjofn, if it meant we are hazardous to you.”  
“Loki, he came out of me in that form! You’ve seen the video. I held him with no barrier- no blanket, not even a diaper. He nursed in that form. I just finished describing how people forget what they know when they are terrified, and here you are, doing so! My son isn’t going to harm me!” I was irate.  
“He was a baby with no notion of his power then. To my knowledge when Odin picked me up, I didn’t burn him, either. But Njord just figured out how to become a Frost Giant ON PURPOSE! That means he possess powers. Powers neither of us completely understand. I don’t want to traumatize him, I promise you, but I am going to protect you because you clearly won’t protect yourself!” The agitated man threw himself on the bed. “I hurt everyone I love. Now you’re at risk from me and our child. That other Loki could have prevented this. You should have never conceived.”  
“HOW DARE YOU?! How dare you suggest my child should not exist? That life is what kept me going when I wanted to lay down and die. His growth inside me was what gave me hope. Fighting to give him the best start in life led me to a new family connection with Thor, new friendships with Bruce, Steve, Nat, and Valkyrie. Looking out for his wellbeing widened that circle to include other children and their parents. When …you…found me in that corridor on The Statesman, I had NO ONE. You gave me my own life worth living when we conceived that little boy! I don’t care if he causes a burn, it will heal. I would risk my very life for him and for you, too, for that matter! Don’t you EVER again make any suggestion that either of you shouldn’t exist- you insult me!” I was growing hoarse with the effort not to scream, or rather, screaming quietly. I wanted to claw Loki’s eyes out. I wanted to slap him so hard he’d have whiplash. I wanted to hold him so tight he’d never feel that he was a burden ever again. I plopped on the floor and bawled.  
Loki picked me up to lay me on the bed. We wound arms and legs about each other. It was desperate affection, not sexual. We were awash in despondency and tears. Njord tapped on the door to let us know his show was over. I instructed him to play alone for just a bit longer. Finally, mentally spent, Loki and I emerged. We dressed for our family walk. We went to a local park where we rambled along the winding trails. Back at the apartment, I told my boys we needed to figure out if they could damage my skin. I commanded Njord to convert to his Jotun form first, while Loki would be ready to administer healing magic, if necessary. The boy shut his eyelids. First, his face, then down his torso, arms, and hands, followed by his legs became a light hue of blue. I reached out to caress the faint lines that appeared on his forehead and cheeks. There was no pain, not even a tingle. “I’m fine,” I pronounced. Next, I asked Loki to attempt the transformation. Perhaps it was different for a full Jotun. He gritted his teeth in frustration but did as I asked. Eyes squeezed tight, face taut, his skin colored into a deeper shade than Njord. As I had with our son, I traced the textures present on his countenance. The lids flew open, red irises piercing. “Nothing my love. Your skin isn’t toxic,” I stated softly.  
Blue already receding, teal replacing crimson, my husband was confused. “Why did the Frost Giant burn Volstagg’s arm in Jotunheim?”  
“Perhaps it is a particular power that can be controlled, like the ability to form and manipulate ice into armor and weapons from their bodies. Whatever the reason, neither you or Njord present a danger to me or others. Please let your worry go that either of you will accidentally harm me,” I pleaded.  
Loki pulled me onto his lap. “I love you so much, Sjofn. I can’t stand the thought of injuring you.”  
“I know.” I did. Still, Loki wouldn’t want more children after this. I was going to have to process that I likely wouldn’t have the child I yearned for, though I loved Njord no less.  
“May I go to the playground?” our son requested. We granted our permission. Loki let me go so he could train, and I could work.  
I made a therapy appointment. I needed to work through my grief for the child that wouldn’t be. I requested that my husband be responsible for our son while I was in session. “Sjofn, if this about our Jotun forms, I’d like to talk some more,” Loki enjoined.  
“It is connected but not all about that. What would you like to say?”  
“I emailed my counselor. I want to work on this. You once cautioned me that parenting would expose our own wounds, or something to that effect. Also, that I should be the father I wish I’d had. I am trying. Not only for Njord but also any other children. Of course, I’ll keep track of our boy while you seek help. I just wanted you to know,” he confessed.  
I wasn’t sure I heard right. “Are you saying you are still considering a baby?” I asked breathlessly.  
“Yes,” he replied, taken aback. “I told you I desired more little ones and you urged to me to deliberate more fully. I have been doing so. Since I now know there is little danger to you, I am comfortable with proceeding. Did you think I’d rejected the idea, in spite of that knowledge?”  
“I did. I thought that since any subsequent children would also have Jotun forms over which they may gain control, as Njord has, that you had dismissed the idea.” Hope rose within me.  
“No. That’s why I am attempting to address my reaction. My therapist is teaching me to sit with difficult feelings and not let them overcome me. You will note that none of our property has been damaged by my magic. I have learned a little bit.”  
“Oh, my love!” I threw my arms around Loki’s neck, peppering him with kisses. “You have learned more than a little bit! I am so proud of you and so happy, too!”  
My prince sat straighter upon hearing my praise. “I understand your wish for me to be sure, but nothing is ever certain, you know. You clearly desire a baby, I wish to expand our family, Njord yearns for a sibling. I am ready when you are.”  
“I will bring it up in my session. I still need to sort through some responses of my own. Then we can decide on timing.” I beamed at my husband. “I love you!”  
He grinned back. “I love you, too!”  
My counselor and I unpacked the “triggering event.” I didn’t bother to get into particulars about the boys’ ability to transform, only that our son had discovered an ability that brought unpleasant memories to mind for his father. I also shared that my husband was attempting to work through the associated misery. Finally, she had me imagine how a baby would fit into our family dynamic. Obviously, this was speculation, but I could think through some pitfalls before they happened to formulate a plan of action. I returned home to my husband and son cooking breakfast together. We ate, then Njord headed outside to meet up with Landon and Rebekah before the day got too warm. It was perfect timing. I directed Loki to lift the birth control enchantment he’d put on me two years ago. I disrobed. He rubbed his hands over my abdomen, emitting a green light. We set about making a baby. By mid-August, I had all the materials I needed to begin homeschooling Njord. My problem was that I was too fatigued to begin. I was still doing my medical transcriptions for the doctors in Norway. I still popped over on Mondays to check in. I set up some playdates for Njord and a visit with Kjersti’s family. At the end of the week, I was exhausted and nauseous. I firmly decided to start school after my look-in, Monday next. We dove in, using the extra bedroom Loki had set up as an office space to write. I had brought my small desk and chair from New Asgard and set up my laptop there. Loki and Bucky adjusted their training schedule to coincide with lessons. When I finished my part, Njord had a break for lunch and play. Loki would work on his book after lunch and take his turn educating our son. Tuesday afternoons were for real magic lessons. Each Thursday, he’d spend an hour teaching the boy about Asgard; customs, art, music, history, military strategy were all included. Some days, Njord filled physical education requirements at the ice rink in the neighboring township or at the YMCA. I had planned to do some fitness classes while he swam or played basketball. I dropped my first class. I did at least use the treadmill. My energy levels were quite low. I felt queasy most of the time. I kept a plastic bag of granola in my purse to stave of the worst of the nausea. I remembered this feeling. I knew in my heart that I was pregnant, but I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. I’d thought to see Eir on one of my trips to New Asgard for confirmation. However, the last week of August all of the New Avengers and family members were invited to walk through the first of the living quarters at the training campus. They were still under construction, but the rooms were blocked out with supports. The small office building was close to completion. Lastly, we family members toured the actual training facility itself. Loki and Bucky gave a demonstration of their knife and dagger skills. Peter showed us the room that spanned up the full three stories where there were various posts for practicing swinging. He even had a lab for making synthetic webbing. Wanda’s space was the most fascinating. Housed on the top floor, she manipulated the space from cramped and tiny to cavernous, rendering us separated from one another, and back again. As we were filing out of Wanda’s workroom, she bumped into me as she was leaving the now-darkened area. A prickly sensation was invading my skin, rendering me cold and clammy. “Oh, Sjofn, I’m sorry. You’re sick. Can I help? Oh! It’s the baby! There’s a snack machine down the hall and water in my fridge. I’ll grab a bottle.” She reversed course, returning with the water.  
“How do you know about the baby?” I whispered, waving Loki and Njord on ahead, as if Wanda and I were chatting about inconsequentials.  
“You haven’t told your husband, yet? I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t give it away. I have telepathic abilities, too. I try to suppress them in ordinary situations but sometimes they break through. You were thinking about feeling sick and forgetting to bring something to eat. Also, I can intuit the baby’s consciousness, but it isn’t developed enough for me to decipher. Congratulations! You are happy about the child. You should make your appointment with this Eir to be certain everything is as it should be. I can’t tell that. But I can definitely confirm the pregnancy.” She smiled brightly.  
“I’m a bit overwhelmed, I must admit,” I stammered. I dropped coins into the snack machine. “I thank you, though. I am excited to tell my boys.” I grabbed the pouch of almonds and we took the elevator to ground level. Outside, Sam was doing flying exercises to entertain the families.  
Next up were Ant Man and the Wasp. We saw Scott shrink but lost him in the grass. “Nobody move!” his daughter, Cassie, shouted. There was a humming in my ear. Hope flew out in front of me, waved, then buzzed away.  
Suddenly, Scott shot up to the sky as Giant Man, but lost his balance. He pitched backward, landing on his sizable rear end. “Hope,” he bellowed. “You promised not to do that again!”  
The Wasp grew back to her normal size, giggling. “Sorry. You were still an ant when I flicked you. And I only promised not to do it in front of Hank. He isn’t here.”  
Ant Man was once again ordinary Scott Lang. He stood inside a shallow crater, created from his fall. “Lady, you’re gonna pay.” He sped off after his mirthful partner.  
Cassie rolled her eyes in that way only a teenager has. “They do this all the time. It’s so weird.”  
Back at our temporary home, I started dinner. The smell was too much. I took off for the bathroom. Loki was with me immediately. I weakly instructed him to finish preparing supper. Once the meat had cooked, I was alright. Loki gave me a worried look when I sat down with my plate. “Sjofn, are you alright? You’ve been off for a couple of weeks and don’t seem to be getting any better. Maybe you should eat some crackers or something to settle your stomach instead of spaghetti and meatballs. You definitely must make an appointment with Eir, Darling.”  
“I plan to see Eir. I’m going to eat the spaghetti, though I’ll have a small portion first, to make sure it will stay down. I am fine. We can discuss more after dinner.” He was obviously unconvinced but let the matter drop for the moment.  
Dishes cleared and cleaned, I flopped on the sofa next to my son. Both my guys had been reading. My husband closed his tome with a snap. “What’s going on, Sjofn?”  
“Njord, will you put your book down? There is something I should tell the both of you.” Loki’s expression turned to dismay. “I wanted to wait until I’d seen Eir, but Wanda has powers of which I was unaware, until today. She sensed what I had begun to realize. We are going to have a new addition to our family.”  
“You’re pregnant? Already? How…?” my love stammered.  
“I suppose we’re just that good,” I replied laughingly.  
“I’m going to be a big brother?” Njord squeaked. I nodded. “Whoa! Wait until I tell Finn!”  
“Hold on. Not yet. This is just for us to know right now. I didn’t want you both worried that I was ill. When your father and I are ready to share with others, you can tell as many of your friends as you wish.” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Let’s make it our secret for now, though, okay? Shh.” Loki signaled silence. Njord did the same with a wide grin.  
  
My exam with Eir went well. She verified that I was with child. She asked that I set up monthly appointments to she could monitor my progress. I privately encouraged Loki to disclose our news to Bucky right away since he was still a sponsor of sorts with Pepper Potts. The Winter Soldier would only reveal anything if something went wrong and I needed my husband to take time off. Similarly, my love imparted this to his therapist immediately. I assured him I was okay if he felt like sharing in his support group but left the decision to him. He opted to wait. Once past the twelve-week mark, we announced our happy news. I set up a playdate for Finn and Njord, while Kjersti and I caught up. My son burst out nearly as soon as he saw Finn. Kjersti was snuggling little Anneke in her arms. The infant was four months old. We’d seen her in August but Njord was now curious to watch her. Finn soon lured him away to play, insisting that little babies were boring. Kjersti intimated that the reality of an infant hadn’t quite fit Finn’s expectation. He’d planned to play right away, but aside from making faces and rude noises that Anneke laughed at, she didn’t reciprocate. He wasn’t jealous or hostile, just disinterested. Given the age difference between my son and his sibling, I figured that would prove to be the case for them, too. We spent a long October afternoon with our Norwegian friends, then walked in the dark back to our house in New Asgard. Loki was on a mission, so I’d brought my laptop to do a bit of work and spend some time in Norway. We ate dinner with Valkyrie at a local restaurant, had a brief visit with Korg and Miek, then did some shopping. I stocked up on some foods we couldn’t get in the States. Back at our cottage, I pulled up Njord’s school assignments on the computer. Homeschooling meant we could structure tasks according to the time zone. Though we mostly only spent a few hours in Norway during the week, at times like this, it was nice that I could flip our schedule around. Night had closed in, though for the boy and I on New York time, it was late afternoon. We watched a recorded TV program and got supper. Njord practiced some easy magic his father had taught him, we played several hands of an Asgardian card game, and read a bit. At two AM Norway time, we started the bath and bedtime routine. With the child abed, I was free to work for a couple of hours. Finally, I retired, too. The following day, I cleaned the house of its dust and packed up food and some household items to take back with us. Njord completed his Norwegian language lessons. We waited at our gate for Finn to pass by on his way home from school. Loki appeared as our son’s friend rounded the corner onto our street. “Excellent timing!” My husband gave me a loud kiss. “I missed you Darling. You too, Son,” he said as he ruffled the boy’s hair.  
Finn ambled up to our yard. “I have to go now, Finn,” Njord sighed. “I wanted to see you one more time. Mamma says we can video chat later. I miss barneskole and walking with you!” The boys fist bumped.  
“I miss you, too. Come back soon.”  
Loki handed Finn an envelope. “Will you give this to your father? It’s an order for his shop.”  
“Yes, Sir.”  
“Thank you, Finn. We will try to come back soon, I promise,” my love communicated gently. Soon Finn was out of sight. “We must get back quickly. There is a surprise awaiting in New York!”  
Njord’s dejected aspect at leaving after a fun time turned curious with the hint of a surprise. “What kind of surprise, Pappa?”  
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you. Grab your duffel bag. I’ll come back for these items.” Loki indicated the cooler and large box. He picked up our growing boy and teleported. I popped back to our apartment a second later.  
Thor was there. “Uncle Thor!” The child practically leapt at the man. Thor embraced his nephew and swung him around.  
“It’s great to see you!” I exclaimed. “What brings you to Midgard?”  
“Rocket got a message from Bucky Barnes. He said we should visit soon. We didn’t have anything pressing, so Quill brought us right away. We landed at the new training facility. It looks like everything is coming along well. Not as big as the one that was destroyed, but certainly adequate. Bucky and Loki already showed us around.”  
“Have you eaten?”  
“Not yet.”  
“Loki, we need the food we left at the house so I can start breakfast.” Njord and I had only eaten a bit of fruit so some protein would not be amiss.  
“I will but let’s tell him first.”  
“Tell me what? Is there more than just the facility?”  
“Oh, yes, Brother…”  
My husband was cut off by our son, jumping up and down. “I want to tell! I want to tell!”  
“No, my sweet. Thor is your father’s brother. Let Pappa tell.” I grinned at my love.  
“Our family is adding to its number, Brother. Come April.” Pride shone in Loki’s face and in his voice.  
“Ye-he-es!” shouted Thor. “Congratulations!”  
  
The muscular man bear hugged his brother, which my husband fully returned. He opened his arms wide for me. I hoped he wouldn’t squeeze too terribly hard. On the contrary, he gently pulled me close. “I am so happy for you. This is what you’ve longed for and deserve, Sjofn. A husband, a home, and a family.” I couldn’t speak through all my emotion. I settled for a watery smile. Thor turned back to his nephew. “I will teach you all you need to know about being a big brother!” Loki snorted and teleported off to collect our things form New Asgard, while Njord got a lecture on the virtues of big brothers from his uncle. Thor stayed with us for the day, returning to his spaceship after supper. He vowed to come back for Yuletide celebrations. We convinced him to return slightly early for Njord’s birthday and stay for five days. Come December, I planned two small gatherings for Njord’s birthday. The first was held the Saturday before with friends from homeschool activities. For both, we requested no gifts, just time for the kids to play together and have cake. We held the New York party at the training compound, in a room where the kids could run around. The next day, Njord and I left for New Asgard to stay for the week. Loki came for the day. The party there was outside, at a ski slope. The child was thrilled to see so many of his barneskole friends. Thor arrived at the ski lodge in time for cake. After the party, Thor, Loki, Njord, Korg, and Miek went to cut a Yule log. I had hot chocolate and warm Glogg ready when they got to the house. We lit the log, enjoying our beverages. I fixed supper at nine o’clock. Korg and Miek were on Norway time, so they left with Thor after eating. Loki stayed until midnight, helping with getting Njord bathed and in the bed. We kissed goodnight. My love was back with me in three days for Yule, Bucky in tow. Njord and Finn had been back and forth between the houses for days; Finn’s family would be joining us, too. Add in Thor, Korg, Miek, and Valkyrie, and we had a literal houseful. We were a merry group and enjoyed one another very much. We exchanged gifts, ate well, played games, and even danced. Loki gave the same gifts as the previous year: Njord had grown, so a new suit of leather armor was in need, and I received an Asgardian dinner gown in black with subtle green trim. There was to be a New Year’s Eve fundraiser for Stark Industries and Ms. Potts had requested the New Avengers attend. I was in my fifth month of pregnancy, so my wedding dress no longer fit. The new dress was flattering to my more rounded figure and could be altered after I gave birth. My favorite part of the evening was when Loki asked to hold Anneke. I’d never seen him with a baby before. Kjersti informed him that the infant preferred to be held cradled in one’s arms across the chest. My husband tenderly tucked the girl’s head into the crook of his elbow, speaking to her so softly I couldn’t catch the words. A camera snapped to my right. Thor had captured the moment; Njord joined his father, watching the baby as he had in October. She was blinking drowsily, as Loki continued to murmur to her. She drifted off to sleep and Kjersti took her back. Finn hadn’t been best pleased that his friend was so interested in a baby, but the boys went back to playing with new toys and his snit was forgotten. Evening lengthened into night. Our guests departed, except Bucky. He spent the night on our sofa. Dawn was still in the offing when I heard my bedroom door creak. I popped open one eye to see my son’s silhouette in the doorway. I gesticulated to him. He shut the door quietly and tiptoed to the bed. He climbed in, snuggling up to my belly. “I want to hold my brother or sister like Pappa held Anneke,” he mumbled.  
I put my hand on his head. “You will, my sweet.” Loki moved up from behind to spoon me. We fell asleep that way for a short snooze.  
Njord eventually moved in between his father and me. “Do you remember last year?” the boy asked quietly. “I wanted to be like this forever. And now we are.”  
“I asked your mother to marry me right here,” responded my husband. “And now we are.”  
“I said we’d maintain friends and playdates here in New Asgard. And we are. What do we want for this next year together? I wish us to be a close-knit family as Baby joins us.”  
“Since I am going to be writing multiple volumes of my Asgard history, I’d like to get a volume published soon.”  
“I just want to hold and love my baby brother or sister. I wish I could talk to the baby now.”  
“You can. The baby hears some sounds, though language doesn’t mean anything. But if you want to talk, Baby will get used to your voice.”  
Njord put his mouth right up against my stomach. “Hello Baby. This is your brother. I love you.”  
“And I love you, too, Baby Lokison.”  
My love reached across our son to lay a hand on my belly. “And I love you, too, my child.”  
The alarm went off, cutting short our baby talk. Thor came for breakfast and stayed for two hours with Loki and Bucky, catching up some more. Loki mentioned his history book to Thor. The God of Thunder was ecstatic. He offered to call his contact that published my book, but I’d already reached out to the agent. Next, he offered to endorse and promote the book. “People on Earth love me. I’m very popular. I could make an advertisement for you. Oh…unless…perhaps you’d rather do this on your own. This is your chance to shine, Brother.” I was seated next to Thor on the sofa and had kicked him lightly. Relief coursed through me. This was one of those instances where their old pattern of behavior could have derailed. With the best of intentions, my brother-in-law jumped in to ‘fix’ his sibling. Loki both loved and resented him for it.  
The acknowledgement caught my love off guard. “I haven’t thought about marketing, yet. I’ll contemplate it,” he stated noncommittally. The two New Avengers were to report back soon, replacing Ant Man, Wasp, and Sam Wilson who’d been on call Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Loki, Bucky, and Peter Parker would take the next two days on call to allow the others to join their families. Wanda and Vision had taken call the two days before Christmas, then they and the twins spent Christmas with Pepper, Morgan, and Rhodey. Thor stayed a bit longer with Njord. After lunch, Thor made his farewells. Njord and I stayed on in Norway for another couple of days visiting friends. I returned to New York when all the New Avengers were back. Njord spent New Year’s Eve with Finn’s family. Loki was garbed in a black suit with matching black shirt and black tie for the Stark Industries fundraiser.  
  
The monochrome outfit suited him. I was dressed in my elegant Asgardian-style maternity gown, complimented by an emerald necklace and earring set with which Thor had gifted me at Yule to coordinate. A young woman in the complex was studying cosmetology. She offered hair and makeup services for all of us ladies in return for portfolio photos. I had a lovely updo and smoky dark eyeshadow. I felt like my eyes were overdone but Hope Van Dyne assured me I looked perfect for a party such as this. My temperature rose several degrees when my husband breathed in my ear, “I’ll take great delight in assisting you out of that dress, pulling those pins from that silky hair, and smudging all that makeup later, Darling.” The New Avengers and their partners were whisked away to New York City in several limousines sent by Ms. Potts. There was a silent auction, dancing, a cash bar, and a gourmet meal. I was thrilled to find that Smart Hulk was in attendance. I circled the dance floor with each of the male New Avengers, Dr. Strange, and Bruce. My favorite partner was my love. We swayed together as Midgardians do, but also performed a couple of Asgardian dances he’d taught me during his enforced isolation in the cabin. I was participating in the sort of function I’d have been required to attend as Loki’s wife, had we lived as a married couple in Asgard. My husband was at ease in this milieu, but I felt self-conscious. I was afraid all these elite Midgardians would wonder why a god and prince had married such a nobody. It was silly, of course. They didn’t know my background. Still, I reflected that marriage to Loki here on Earth was quite different from the formal, ritualistic life we’d have had, otherwise. Dinner was served, a comedian performed, then Pepper made a speech. She reminisced about Tony Stark’s time as an Avenger. She announced that she’d begun The Avengers Foundation in his memory. The U.S. government would shut down any hint of the true nature of missions that these men and women were hired for if they knew, so Ms. Potts presented them as a group of charitable folks doing community outreach. It wasn’t a lie; my husband often groused about having to hobnob with lowly humans, yet he loved the attention and adulation he received from being a New Avenger. The party ended in the small hours of the morning. I’d put myself on an odd schedule using melatonin to avoid ‘jet lag’ and to be fully awake during the fundraiser. When we reached our flat, I still had an hour before my bedtime. As promised, my love relished stripping me and putting me to bed. He allowed me to divest him of clothing, sans magic. I was careful in removing his suit; I would’ve hated to tear it. He looked so handsome in it. Once freed from our finery, we spent a passionate hour of lovemaking. Since it was winter, apparel would cover the plethora of bite marks we left on one another. We brought Njord home on New Year’s Day, and I began adjusting his schedule and mine to normal New York time so we could restart school the following week. January was an eventful month for our family. Loki took Njord on Saturdays to the training facility to teach him Asgardian Warrior technique in earnest, and how to use the small blades he’d given his son as a birthday present. They also spent time there on Tuesday, as Njord’s magical tuition had progressed from theory to more intense application. Our boy could not only shapeshift between his Jotun and Asgardian forms, but he’d managed to become a snake. Loki found this particularly amusing, based on a childhood incident with Thor. The literary agent was amenable to publishing quickly, but her idea of quickly was around summer. My love turned over the bound pages of his first composition. We received a call a few days later that the manuscript was in review and we’d know whether it was accepted in a week or two.  
I lined up my appointments with Eir to coincide with my look-ins on my clients, which were now bi-weekly. Eir had indicated in December that she had a contact at a local hospital who could run what the Midgardians called an ultrasound so we could see, hear, and measure the baby. It was close enough to technology she’d had in our old realm to render building her own tech financially inefficient. My appointment at the hospital was mid-month. Loki accompanied me. The picture generated was clearer than I’d expected. We heard the heartbeat, were assured that the head and body measurements were in the expected range and saw an image of…our son. We were to have another boy! We shared the news with Njord after dinner. Loki was engrossed with the ‘photo’ we’d brought back and Njord was over the moon. The child got right up against my belly and shouted, “Hello Baby Brother! This is Njord, your big brother. I saw your picture and I can’t wait for you to come! We’re going to have lots of fun. I love you!”  
“Njord, my sweet, you don’t have to shout so loud. There are neighbors above, below, and beside us who can hear you. And the baby, hears you, too. He is moving around in response.”  
“You can feel him move, Mamma?!”  
“Yes, Sweet.”  
“May I feel?” Loki queried hopefully.  
I felt across my abdomen. “Not just yet. I can feel his movements inside but not outside.”  
“Oh.” My husband went back to studying the image, while Njord insisted on having a one for his own. I wrested the print from Loki long enough to make a copy. The boy could put the picture in his room in Norway after he’d shown it to his friends. I had to draw my love’s attention away from his fixation on the digitally generated photo. He was equal parts thrilled, amazed, and a little frightened. From that night until our second child was born, he fell asleep with his hand atop my expanding middle.


	7. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Njord's birthday

  
In the context of the story, today would be Njord's 2nd birthday. Happy Birthday Njord Lokison! The picture is my vision of him at 6 or 7 years old. It is comprised of a stock photo and a photo of Tom Hiddleston that I used the baby filter from Snapchat on.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sjofn learns something new about herself. Loki finds his home.

It was fitting that the first time Loki felt our child kick was on February fourteenth. It was a day that people on Earth venerated a Christian saint named Valentine but had a secular celebration of love. We’d been debating baby names. I was partial to Hjalmarr Ragnavaldr. Hjalmarr, meaning helmeted warrior, and Ragnavaldr, meaning ruling counsel. Essentially, I was naming the boy after Loki at the Battle of Asgard and honoring his claim to the throne. My husband fully appreciated the sentiment. I mentioned in passing that a classmate of Njord’s from his barneskole whose family originally came from Finland, had used the Finnish diminutive form of Hjalmarr, Jari. Our child shifted at that moment. My husband, who had been absent-mindedly rubbing my belly, felt the movement. His breath caught; his face filled with awe. He declared that we’d bestow the formal names on our son, but he’d be known as Jari, as his kick was a sign of approval. I personally considered his reasoning to be nonsense, as the fetus moved around quite a lot. However, I rather liked the short form of the name, it was my love’s first experience with his new child, and occasionally I deemed it expedient go along with his outrageous notions. Njord talked to Jari and touched me so much, I had to set boundaries. Since he got in bed with his father and me every morning now, the child was permitted to put his hand or head to my abdomen during this cuddle time. He often curled himself right around my baby bump. At bedtime, the boy would tell his unborn brother all about his day. Jari must have enjoyed the monologues because he often kicked and shifted as Njord prattled. This nightly routine was another family affair. Loki reveled in the clearly visible movement, while simultaneously hearing about our son’s activities. Toward month’s end my husband received a call from Dr. Strange. Wong had found a book that was about Asgard. An appointment was set but Loki had low expectations for finding anything he could use in his history. He was wrong. The tome was ancient by Midgardian standards but had been written within our lifetimes. There were references and additional information to events that would clarify Loki’s history. He also found a story he wanted to share with me. Since this concerned Old Asgard, Loki reasoned that Njord should see it, too. We were to go back as a family to view the tale. “Sjofn, tell me about that small flower tattoo on your lower back,” my love requested the night he’d read the story.  
“I don’t really know why it was important that I should have it but…OH!”  
“Are you alright? Is something wrong with the baby?” Loki questioned, alarmed.  
“No, I’m sorry I startled you. It’s just that I was to have had Njord marked with the same image. My father had it and I was taught that I was to keep the tradition when I had children. I had completely forgotten, and of course, I can’t see it, except in the mirror. I suppose Njord and Jari can have theirs done together. Poor Njord, though, will remember the pain,” I repined.   
“I can ease the pain of the needle for both,” Loki said dismissively. “Why was it a tradition? How far back did it go?”  
“That’s the thing. I don’t know. My father was orphaned as an infant. A young witch brought him to a childless farming couple who’d lost several babies to stillbirth and miscarriage. She gave him his tattoo in a ritual before leaving him with my grandparents. She instructed them that he was to give his children the mark and it was to be passed on to successive generations. The witch became a friend of the family. She visited often to check on my father, even as an adult. I vaguely remember her. She placed the tattoo on me when I was born. And it was she who suggested I seek employment at the palace when my parents passed. I never saw her again once I was hired.” Memories of my family came flooding back in a wave of emotion. My pregnancy only exacerbated my tendency to cry. My love held me while I wept out my grief. My grandparents, my parents, the housekeeper, Queen Frigga- all gone, never knowing our children. A few days before our first wedding anniversary, our little family teleported to the Sanctum Sanctorum in New York City. Dr. Strange met us at the door and led us to the library. He inquired after my health and Jari’s, wishing us an uncomplicated birth. Wong had the ancient text on a stand, turned to the page Loki had sought. At the top of the right page was an illustration of a flower matching my tattoo. I gasped in surprise.  
“Read aloud, Darling, for Njord to hear.” The words were in Aesir. I read the story of Sjofn, the goddess of affection. She used her powers to make peace, bring unity, and establish affinity. Though a princess, her childhood was lonely. Neglected by her parents, she had only toys for companionship. She was taught in secret by Lady South Wind how to bring toys to life. She distributed the toys throughout the kingdom of Alfheim to other lonely children. To her dismay, she learned that her father was a despotic ruler. Sjofn rebelled against him, leading to the magical punishment of Veiling, wherein a person is ignored, as if nonexistent. The goddess of forbidden loves, Lofn, found her, listening to her laments each day, though without response, lest she be veiled. They eventually ran away from Alfheim together. It was not the happy ending for which they’d hoped. The only way to release the Light Elf Princess from her punishment was through the magic of the Dark Elves. The two goddesses arrived in Svartlfheim, Lofn bartering with the Elves. These bargains were tainted, taking pieces of Lofn’s heart, even as she freed her friend. She became a cruel imitation of the Dark Elves, her yearning for power eventually becoming so great that it was resistant to Sjofn’s magic. Lofn bartered Sjofn away for treasure. * The Light Elf, using her experience escaping Alfheim, managed to sneak away from the Dark Elf to whom she’d been sold. She ran through the desolate flats of Svartlfheim. She zigzagged from one rocky outcropping to another. For two full days, the princess managed with no food, water, or sleep. She reached the capital city, where she stealthily stole food, drank water from a stream, and slept in a ditch. She was afraid of discovery, so she headed out, skirting the city. to the hills of the planet. She clawed her way up a plateau. Reaching the top, she was confronted by a vast mountain of rock, much larger than it had appeared from the valley. Her strength draining, Sjofn limped to the face, preparing to climb. She heard a glorious sound. Hoping against hope that her ears were not deceived, she listened intently. The steady drip of water was unmistakable. Painfully, slowly, she followed the sound. There was a slight opening in the rock. She squeezed her way through. The air was instantly damp and humid. She used her elven power to produce a small light. The goddess continued to employ her auditory faculties as a guide, the glow being miniscule. The stones of the cave were covered in lichen, slippery. Movement was, of necessity, creeping, but surely the water source was nearby. Lacking the fortitude to increase the brightness, she stooped lower to see the floor around her. Mushrooms! She lifted her skirt to create an apron in which to carry the fleshy fungus. Gathering as she went, the drip changed to a babble, the noise intensifying. Finally, she reached a stream of water flowing over stones. She balanced atop a dry boulder, devouring her mushrooms. She edged to the stream, washing down the meager meal with cold water. Sjofn searched a bit more until she discovered a long narrow rock on which she could sleep. She removed her underskirt, balling it up to make a pillow, and extinguished her tiny lamp. The elven princess awoke in the dark of the cave feeling stiff and sore but refreshed. She conjured an orb of bright white luminescence. She took note of her surroundings. What she’d taken for a cave actually seemed to be a hollowed-out pathway, though long unused. The trail wasn’t just at ground level, either. It extended up through the mountain. A small flying vessel could have navigated through but only with an exceptionally skilled pilot.   
  
If this was truly a pathway, there had to be an exit. Certainly, the Dark Elf from whom she’d escaped would track through the flats, and maybe even the city, but he’d lose her at the mountain. She likely had time. Now she also had a source of food, water, and shelter. She spent another night and two days following the stream that widened the further she travelled. The drip that had become a babble now took on a roaring quality. Sjofn began to climb the dry stones on her path as waterfalls cropped up in the river. The trail steepened and the cascades were taller. At last, yellow light, sunshine, shone through cracks in the rock. The goddess made for the brightest crack, reasoning that it must be the largest opening. The climb was difficult, depleting her energy. There were no more mushrooms to gather and hunger made her stomach hurt. Thankfully, she didn’t need to use magic for light. She emerged from her cave into a late summer afternoon of warm sun next to a vast lake surrounded by mountains. This was nothing like the darkness of Svartalheim. She surmised that she must have crossed into another realm, but she didn’t recognize any landmarks, so it couldn’t be Alfheim, either. Wearily, she stretched out in the high grass encircling the lake for a nap. The princess was awakened from a deep sleep to see a wizened old face hovering above her. She was a witch. The shriveled woman introduced herself. Recognizing Sjofn as a Light Elf, she presumed that this was the missing goddess from Alfheim. She’d hurried to find the princess before her whereabouts became known. The witch guided Sjofn to the magically veiled woods wherein the coven resided. The royal elf gave an account of what had happened to her since her escape; she wondered in which realm she’d appeared. The witches informed her that she was in Asgard, home of King Odin. The aged witch brought forth a beautiful young woman with flowing silken locks the color of the daisies that dotted the meadows of Alfheim in spring. Sjofn was introduced to Frigga, the old woman’s daughter, and betrothed of King Odin. Her wedding was to take place in one week. She readily agreed to bring the elven princess to court. If the princess could be matched with a noble, especially one of the Einherjar, she’d be under Odin’s protection. The plan was brought to fruition when a handsome Einherjar of high-ranking family fell in love with the beautiful Light Elf. After a brief period of courtship, they were married, and soon, Sjofn became pregnant. She was delivered of a healthy male child. Unfortunately, Lofn had somehow discovered her former friend’s location and made her way to Asgard. She ambushed Sjofn’s husband while he was on guard duty. When the discovery was made, Odin secreted Sjofn and her newborn son in an undisclosed location high in the mountains. Unbeknownst to the King, though, the Elf left her protective hideout to attend her husband’s funeral. Her body was discovered a day later. Queen Frigga rushed to the mountains to find that the child was still alive in the care of the two witches who had accompanied the princess and her infant. The coven assembled. No one blamed Sjofn’s companions. They had tried to restrain her, but her own magic was strengthened in relation to her intense emotions and desire to send off her love. They’d even put her under a spell to disguise her, but Lofn, too, was a goddess, who’d seen through the disguise. The coven assembled, along with Odin, in the hideaway to decide what should be done to secure the boy’s safety. It was agreed upon that he should be adopted by humble villagers, where Lofn was unlikely to look for a royal elven child. Once Lofn was found, and the time was appropriate, he could be told of his origins and restored to his rightful status.   
I finished the story, the tears that had welled up cascading down my face. “How sad. I wonder what became of the poor baby?”  
Loki brushed the tears away with his thumbs. “Don’t you know? Darling, I believe that child was your father. That is why he was tattooed with the symbol, and the witch made sure you were, too. It is why you are to have your children marked. To designate you as descendants. Further, the witch kept watch over your family all those years, then sent you to Mother when you needed protection. They were her coven, in which she’d been raised. You were still being hunted, so you had to remain inconspicuous, as a servant. It does puzzle me, though, that your father would name you Sjofn, which could have possibly given you away.”  
“He didn’t,” I interrupted. “I was called by my middle name in the village. The witch suggested Sjofn as a name that only my family would call me. It was never spoken outside my home. When I came to work at the palace, Queen Frigga asked if I had another name. She told me she thought Sjofn was a beautiful name and asked permission to use it.”  
Loki nodded and became more animated. “It makes perfect sense. Did you go by Sjofn or your village name with the other servants?  
“I went by Astridr. Only Queen Frigga used Sjofn.”  
“Why did you choose to allow me to call you Sjofn?”  
“Because you asked if my name was Sjofn. You said Queen Frigga had told you about me, I was already in love with you, and I wanted to hear my private name from you.”  
“Darling,” he breathed, caressing my face. “You were going to be elevated when Lofn was no longer a threat. That’s why Mother sent you to me and made certain I knew who you were. As a direct descendant of the goddess, you have inherited some of her powers. You have a way with people, bringing out their best, using fondness and affection to forge bonds Mother saw that your powers could bring a peace to me that had been lacking my whole life and was, at that moment, desperately needed- even before her death. And I could bring you into the royal family, where you belonged. Although she was still alive in my old timeline, I have to assume she’d have made the same choice, had I come back to Asgard. I can only assume that Lofn’s whereabouts were discovered and she was dealt with.” Loki gestured to Njord to come closer. “I also believe our son has inherited those same powers.” He hugged our boy to his side. “I love you both so much. You are the perfect family for me.”  
“I love you, too, but I don’t think this means I am some goddess,” I chuckled.  
“A demi-goddess. You are, Sjofn. You were named for your grandmother. It fits. You just need to get used to the idea. I’ve been trying to convince you for a while that you’ve never been ‘just’ anything- servant, Asgardian, woman. You are royalty, you are elven, you are divine, and you have powers. Embrace your true identity, Darling.”  
“Loki, even if what you say is true, Asgard is Midgardian now. Birth and titles from our old life don’t have meaning here. I am content with our life. I don’t need to be someone grandiose to be fulfilled.”  
“Then why do you denigrate yourself?  
“I…” I couldn’t answer. I thought back to the Stark Industries gala when I’d felt like an imposter. While being granddaughter to a goddess wouldn’t confer any particular status in Midgard, it did mean that our marriage was no longer an uneven servant/master fantasy, but a marriage of equals. Somehow, I had sold myself short, even if only to myself. Since his exile in the Swedish cabin, Loki had never considered me less than him. Thor didn’t regard me as unworthy. Valkyrie had accepted me as a royal relative. The Asgardians, to my knowledge, hadn’t thought Loki was marrying beneath him. The only person for whom this would be a new identity was- me. “I just wanted to be a befitting wife for you, my love.”  
“And I wish to be a befitting husband for you. Let’s work on that together.” Loki pressed his forehead to mine.  
“Does this make us different, Mamma?” Njord piped up.  
“No, Sweetheart, we are still the same people. We just have more bloodlines, stories, and places in our family history, and they are pretty interesting. And maybe we do have some powers that can be used to help our loved ones and the world. We’ll see.” I signaled the librarian. “Mr. Wong, are there also books that mention more of Alfheim?”  
“There are more stories in that book, I know. We might have others. I will keep a look out.”  
“Oh, thank you! Is there anything I do or bring for your troubles? Do you enjoy cakes or any special food I can make you?  
Wong gave a sheepish grin. “I do have a fondness for tuna melts.”  
“If that’s what you desire, that’s what you shall have. I promise.”  
There was a snort from the back of the room. “Did you just ask an Elven Asgardian Demi-goddess for a tuna melt?” mocked Dr. Strange. Wong turned up his nose and disappeared among his books. I sent Mr. Wong a footlong tuna melt sub on freshly baked homemade bread.  
  
March fifth was our first anniversary. Loki asked for the day off and I canceled school. We went to New Asgard, hiking through the park where the wedding was held and picnicking there. My husband cast a shield and warmed us at our picnic table. Njord went to Finn’s house for dinner and play time, while Loki and I dressed in our togs from the New Year’s fundraiser, and went to a five-star restaurant, where my love had made reservations. We brought Njord back to the cottage at nine in the evening, Norway time. Our son informed us of all the new things Anneke could do. Finn seemed to like her better now that she responded to him. We played games and watched a family movie. We pulled up video of the wedding that Knud had made and sent to us. I blubbered when Loki and Njord sang to me along with the video and at the Arm Binding. Jari was quite active, moving and kicking, as if he wanted to be part of the celebration. We had supper at midnight, then popped back to New York. At seven o’clock New York time, Njord went to Landon’s apartment for a couple of hours, leaving Loki and I (and Jari) to have a last celebration of our own. We were intimate and cozy and thoroughly enjoyed our alone time. It was a busy day, but we loved being with one another.  
One month following our anniversary, I was putting the finishing touches on the refreshing paint job on Njord’s old changing table. The bassinet was next to our bed, however, there was no space to add the changing table, so it was placed in the living room. Not ideal for entertaining or interior design but practical for living. Unfortunately, all of us would be awakened for overnight feedings. We’d be moving soon, though. The living quarters at the Avengers Training Facility were built and getting their finishing touches. It was a matter of a few weeks. I was close to my due date, so Jari would most likely make his appearance before the move. My back felt incredibly achy. Every once in a while, it would spasm painfully. Now that I’d completed the painting, I could rest. I got a snack and some water. I settled into the recliner. Njord was doing online Globalskolen and Loki was due home any minute from his therapy session. I consumed my crackers and water, thinking I’d snooze. My back suddenly contracted, temporarily robbing me of breath. Loki entered just as the pain subsided. He was beside me in a shot. “Darling, are you alright?”  
“It’s my back. The painting has given me spasms. The baby is fine. I took some Tylenol, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I’ll go see Eir if it’s still bothering me in a half hour.” In twenty minutes, another spasm hit. Loki insisted we teleport to Norway. Loki took me to Eir’s office first, then popped back with Njord seconds later. There were a few others in the waiting room. I commanded my husband to take our son to the cottage. I’d text once I’d seen Eir. I texted fifteen minutes later to bring me a change of clothes. My water had broken. Njord waited in the waiting room during my examination. Eir said my back spasms were labor contractions. I was having back labor. Jari was facing my stomach, rather than my back, putting pressure on my spine and tailbone. She reckoned he would flip over before he came but warned that my labor was likely to be more painful than I’d experienced with Njord. All we could do now was wait. Bruce wanted to be involved, even if he wasn’t to deliver this baby. I texted him that I was in labor. He said he could be ready to join us in an hour. Loki would transport him to the house, where he’d take care of Njord. My contractions were coming closer together. Loki used his magic to lessen the intensity of the pain I perceived, so as not to worry our son. Soon enough, my husband teleported off to collect Smart Hulk, then took the boy to the house. Without bewitchment, I could feel my back aching immensely, even between spasms. Back by my side, I had to remind my love that I must feel the convulsions of the muscles. Eir had to know what I was experiencing to gauge if anything was wrong. We were shown to med bay in a wing of her building that had Asgardian medical equipment, but instead of the usual, functional look of a doctor’s office or hospital room, the décor was homier. The walls were a soft peach and large, colorful poufy pillows abounded. There was a long corridor between the main area of the building and this wing; the walls were taupe with photographs of blue sky and puffy clouds, tranquil seas, and various animals. I was free to walk the hall, as long as it was relatively comfortable to do so. That didn’t last long. My contractions were close now. They crescendoed with ferocity, yet never seemed to truly stop in between. Loki was beside himself: he desperately wished to use his power to help me but Eir had put her foot down. He was not to interfere, even if I begged. Former king or no, he would be tossed out if he didn’t obey. My husband held my hand, rubbed my back, sang to me, and stoically endured all the verbal abuse I hurled at him. Well, mainly I just screamed that he was never to touch me again, along with some of the same choice words I used when giving birth to Njord. Finally, Jari crowned and it was time to push. I screamed and cried and pushed for all I was worth. Our son came into the world, taking his first breath, then crying piteously. Loki wanted to hold him but knew he’d have to wait. Jari was placed on my chest, in between my breasts. A hat was placed on his head. I put the small diaper on him. His skin was a very faint blue with no textured markings. He continued to cry as his father and I crooned an Asgardian lullaby, followed by soothing words. He finally snuggled and ceased his whimpers. Almost an hour passed before our infant crawled over to find my nipple to feed. Upon completion of his first feeding, he was washed and brought back. Loki held him for a stretch. Jari was again laid on my bare chest. One of Eir’s assistants gave my love information on Kangaroo Care and its benefits. He was gratified to find that fathers could participate, too. We spent the night in the maternity wing. I don’t think our newborn son ever slept in the bassinet there. Loki and I took turns, sleeping in shifts, to cuddle him skin to skin between feedings. The following day, Jari and I were released. We went home to our little house in New Asgard.   
Njord begged to hold his baby brother straight away. He perched on the sofa, pillows under each arm for support. I put Jari into his thin arms. “Hello, Jari. I’m your brother, Njord. I’ve talked to you a lot but now I can see you and hold you! I’m so happy you’re here. I'm going to love you forever!” Jari stared up at his brother, wide-eyed. Bruce was thoughtful enough to record the moment. He took his turn cradling the child. He helped cook dinner and stayed until bedtime, well into the night, since we were all still on East Coast U.S. time. Bruce took his leave to sleep at Thor’s house. Loki had teleported the bassinet over to Norway. We used a pad for changing diapers. My husband had a week of Parental Leave, which we spent in New Asgard. Smart Hulk continued to come over to help during the day. At last, we had to return to New York. Once there, Bucky informed us that the townhouses were nearly complete. We’d be moving the last week of April. I had no idea how I was to tend to my newborn son who showed signs of the sensitivity Queen Frigga had described in Loki as a babe. He was fussy unless completely comfortable. Anything could set him off- loud noises, bright lights, hunger, dirty diaper, wanting to be held. Agnetha had given me a baby sling as a gift, which we’d discovered made a huge difference. I couldn’t wear Jari and pack boxes, too, though. Plus, I still needed to teach Njord. My mind was overwhelmed, my body sleep deprived; I rocked the baby while I cried. Njord found me this way. Loki was off training with Bucky. My older boy patted my hair. “What’s wrong, Mamma?” he asked, concern on his face.  
“I just don’t know how I can get everything ready to be moved, Sweet. We all have so much to do already.” My phone rang. Loki quickly explained that a mission had come up. He hoped to be back in a day or so. We hung up. I was weeping copiously at this point.   
“Don’t cry, Mamma. I’ll get us some help.” Njord picked up my cell and scrolled through the numbers. Then he placed his call. “Hi Uncle Bruce, this is Njord. We just found out that we are moving in a couple of weeks, but Pappa is on a mission, and Mamma has to take care of Jari, and I have school. You are the smartest person I know besides Pappa. Can you help us figure out how we can get it all done?” The child listened for a spell. He responded, “Thanks! I can be a big help. I love you.” He paused, then “Bye!”  
“Uncle Bruce says we should schedule one hour each day to start packing. You can direct me with what you want in each box. When Pappa is here, he can pack, too. In two weeks, if we still need help, Uncle Bruce can come. If we get it all done on our own, he’ll be here for moving day, anyway. He already told Ms. Potts he’d be available.” Njord kissed my cheek, handed me a tissue, and went back to his schoolwork. My big boy was a huge help over the couple of days Loki was gone. He cut up fruit for breakfast, made our lunches for two days, and chopped vegetables for dinner. Loki got home around ten pm two days later. Following the mission, cardboard boxes were delivered to the New Avengers. Njord and I had already implemented Bruce’s suggestion, gathering piles of items to go into the boxes. We took one afternoon to buy Njord a bed for his new room, along with a set of Spider-Man sheets and a Hulk comforter. My little Avenger! We had much less to pack than I’d realized. I’d forgotten that we’d kept the bare minimum of clothes, kitchenware, décor, and toiletries in New York for just this reason. There were some pieces of furniture and items we’d bring over to our new townhouse from Norway, but they weren’t essential. In the event, we were ready when moving day came. A few of the Masters of Mystic Arts were on hand to facilitate travel between the rented apartments and the new building. Loki and Wanda could both teleport. Once all of our stuff was transported, Loki began helping others. Wanda did, too. With Smart Hulk carrying heavy pieces, everyone’s furniture, boxes, etc., were at their new digs in short order. Our place had brown granite countertops and fireplace surround, though the fireplace itself was electric. The walls had already been painted. Our living room was a buttery yellow, our bedroom mint green; Njord’s bedroom glowed golden, reminiscent of the rooms of Valaskjalf; the nursery was a neutral beige, with a border midway between floor and ceiling of the Rainbow Bridge that faintly glowed in the dark. There were two full baths, one off the master bedroom, the other across from the boy’s bedrooms. A powder room was situated around the corner from the living room. Kitchen tiles of mosaic glass in browns to match the counters, and a small nook just large enough for our desks completed our suite of rooms. Loki arranged our furniture while Njord unpacked the boxes that I indicated. All the essentials were in place by suppertime. Bruce and Bucky joined us for pizza. I thanked Bruce for his advice to Njord when I’d felt so daunted by my responsibilities while Loki was working. He’d given me perspective. My boy wanted his photographs from New Asgard to go in his new room. He and Loki popped over to Norway to grab them and a few other items I requested. They reappeared momentarily. Our older son was content to arrange his belongings while the adults conversed. All the adults praised him for his help. He’d worked so hard that day, he didn’t even complain about bath and bedtime. He requested Bruce for story time but chose a book that he read to Professor Hulk. Bruce and Bucky and headed to Bucky’s place. Loki and I came in to kiss Njord goodnight. Our child was troubled. “I know we live in New York now but New Asgard was always home to me. This apartment isn’t like the other one, though. This place has the color I wanted for my room, and all of us have our own rooms, and I have a bed instead of the sofa. Will Jari sleep in his room now? Can I still come get in bed with you? Is this home?”  
“Of course, you can join us in bed,” I assured him. “That is what we do as a family and it doesn’t have to change until you decide. Jari will still be in the bassinet for another month or two. And we just happen to have more than one home. There are other people who do, too.”  
Loki pulled Njord onto his lap, scooting close to where I rested on the bed with Jari in my arms. “Let me tell you what I’ve learned about home, my son. Growing up, I didn’t appreciate the home I had. I constantly wished to be elsewhere. I wished I had a different father and sometimes even a different brother, though I loved my mother immensely. When I found out I did have a different family, one that hadn’t wanted me, I thought I had no home. I did some very desperate things to hold onto the home I had but I messed everything up. I’ve learned a lot and worked on myself a lot since then. And now I have your Mamma, you, and Jari. You are the family I’ve always wanted. We love one another always. When we get angry, we talk about why. We try to work together so that each of us feels needed and wanted. You’ve heard Asgardians say that Asgard is not a place, it’s a people. That’s what home is. It is wherever there are people we love. New Asgard is home. New York is home. Sjofn knew me when I was still searching for home. Even through our relationship with each other, she waited a long time for me to figure this out. But I have finally come home. Whenever you, your mother, Jari, and I are together, we are home.”  
Njord nodded. “I love you, Pappa and Mamma. I love you, too, Jari.” He reached over to touch his brother. “And I love being home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Denotes where I changed the story of Sjofn and Lofn. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this story and would like more, please let me know. I have some ideas floating around for a sequel.


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